Skewed statistics

Well, my Lastfm.com statistics are going to be completely wonky when they go to compile them next Sunday. It seems I left iTunes playing all night long while I was at work (11 hours) and not only that, I left it playing on my Casey Stratton/Tori Amos playlist. So they are the only two artists who have played for the last 11 hours.

Not that this is altogether a bad thing. I've been trying to get my iTunes play counts up since my complete computer re-do in January. That's one way to do it.

Happenstance

It's been a while since I've blogged and I really have no good reason for not having blogged. I've been at the computer and have had ample time to blog, but I guess I just haven't had much to say these days. I'm getting ready for a stint of overnights at work which always messes with my internal clock more than I care to think about, but it'll be fine.

The other day, I pulled the 1987 Dolly Parton CD Rainbow off the shelf and imported it into iTunes. This CD has the distinction of being the most expensive single CD I've ever purchased. This all-pop album, which bombed bigger than life for Dolly nearly 20 years ago (egads! where has the time gone?) and has been out of print for just about as long. And since 1987 was toward the beginning of the CD age, the CD version is especially difficult to come by. The Iowa City Public Library had a copy of it that I checked out numerous times while I lived in Iowa City. Just as music was starting to make the jump from CDs to mp3s and other digital files, I decided that I wanted to get a copy of this CD, so I went to eBay to see what I could find. I found a few copies there, so I went ahead and bid on one, only to lose it in the last minute of the auction (imagine that--like that ever happens on eBay!)

My next auction I was a little more fortunate, except for the fact that I got in a bidding war with someone toward the end of the auction. I think I ended up spending somewhere between 50 and 60 dollars for the CD -- insane, I know! -- but I'd procured a copy of the CD. If I had only waited 6 more months, by then I was fully into Napster and the mp3 revolution, and all I would have had to do was check out the CD from the Iowa City Public Library and voila -- I'd have a copy. Still, I don't have all that many regrets about spending the money. Even though I buy a majority of my music through iTunes these days, there's still something about having the CD to hold in your hand along with all the accompanying artwork that goes along with it (and believe me, the artwork in this one is cheesy with a capital C.)

Rainbow is Dolly at her cheesiest. I almost wrote that it was the nadir of her career, but I don't think that's entirely true either. The trouble with the CD is that it has a very "phoned-in" feel to it -- almost as if Dolly laid down the vocals and the instrumentation was completely changed from what it originally was. Almost every song has this "lost in a wind tunnel" quality to it, with Dolly's vocals relegated to the background and crappy 80s synths layered to hell over the top of it. It contains her single most embarrassing song "Dump The Dude" in which Dolly opines "Girl, I know you think this is none of my business/But the fact that we're friends makes it my business/I care about you, and I ain't preachin'/But I think you shoud dump the dude." At least she didn't write it.

I talk rather harshly about a CD that I coughed up 60 bucks for, but I love the cheesiness of it. I love the cheesball song "Savin' It For You" which she sang on her TV show from right around the same time. But perhaps what I love most about it is it reminds me of my first semester at Iowa -- just like Madonna's Erotica CD does -- and the memories that it evokes more than make up for the bad songwriting and dated production. And the funny thing is, that when the album was released in 1987, I could have easily bought it then. I mean, I liked Dolly even back then, but for reasons I don't know, I never purchased it. And think if I'd bought it back then, I'd have a whole different set of memories associated with it. It was just happenstance that I didn't discover it until I was 20 rather than when I was 15.

Anyway, enough of my mindless babbling about Dolly. Here, enjoy this video from You Tube, which prompted me to import the Rainbow CD to iTunes in the first place. "Savin' It For You" performed live on the Dolly show in 1987. (As is standard operating procedure for most You Tube videos, this can be a bit slow to load, so be patient.)

Valentine's Day

This is proof positive that I have the best wife ever. (The February 14th post) And it has nothing to do with the fact that I get off easy on Valentine's Day. It goes so much deeper than that.

Hands off, guys, I'm keeping her.

Sorry for the shortness of the post, but life's been busy. Back probably tomorrow with something more substantial.

Angstroms

I found myself thinking about angstroms today. I'm not entirely sure why I was but I didn't question it. Nonetheless, it was still an odd thing to find myself thinking about. An angstrom, as everyone knows, is one hundred-millionth of a centimeter (OK, I admit it, I had to look up precisely what it was, but I did remember the scientific notation for an angstrom, just couldn't remember how to express it.) Anyway, it reminds me a girl named Sarah that I knew in college -- she was the roommate of a friend of my roommate's. I really liked her - she was a little bit of a case, but it just heightened her appeal. I think I did awkwardly ask her out once, to our class formal, but she had other plans (i.e. she wasn't interested in me that way) but that was really ok. In an event, she was obsessed with angstroms. We thought that angstroms should really be the unit of measure for teenage angst, because really, when you think about it, that's probably how big teenage angst really is compared to what most teenagers (my teenage self included) make it out to be.

Surreality bites

The other night I dreamt that I was a vampire. And it was the strangest thing. I had had a couple glasses of wine before bed that night, and in the middle of the night, I remember stirring slightly and noting that I didn't feel very good. In the dream, this sick feeling got translated into my transformation into a vampire -- not dissimilar from the process described in Interview With The Vampire. I found myself noting that I didn't need to breathe and that my heart was no longer beating. And suddenly, I was back in college and a lot of my friends from that period of my life were there, sitting in a lecture hall. I sat down in a seat near the top of the lecture hall on an aisle, hoping that no one would notice my transformation into one of the undead. And just as quickly as I was in the lecture hall, I was suddenly sitting at a table with several friends, both past and present, while Heidi desperately tried to explain to them that just because I was a vampire didn't make me a bad person. After all, the only other vampires she'd known had been Angel and Spike, and they both had souls and eventually worked for good in the world. As she was talking, I found myself still feeling that "sick" feeling and realized that it must be because I needed blood -- I hadn't fed at all. So I began to ask people if they'd mind so much if I bit their necks and drank some blood -- not enough to kill them, but enough to make me feel better. Not surprisingly, no one obliged. Then Heidi came up with a great idea. She had me drink that fake vampire blood you get in tubes at Halloween. I remember it being gross, but it did make me feel better.

Strange, eh? I looked up what dreaming you're a vampire means and here's what I found: To dream that you are a vampire, signifies that you are sucking in the life energy of others for your own selfish benefit.

Funny, I don't feel like that fits -- I'm more likely to chalk it up to the wine.

Two new books

I got a couple new books this week -- one was a gift and one was a rare hardcover book purchase (I almost always wait for them to come out in paperback.) The first book is Norah Vincent's Self-Made Man, which Kevin sent to me. The book is about a woman who dressed up as a man to experience what it was like to be a man in today's society. She did this on a dare from a friend of hers and what she finds out (according to the reviews) will come as no surprise to a lot men in society. While men have a certain amount of freedom that may not necessarily come to women by virtue of gender roles, they come at a bit of a cost. According to the book jacket, the book is much in the vein of Black Like Me and Nickeled & Dimed (I've only read the latter) I'm eager to start reading it, and it's only appropriate that Kevin gave it to me considering we met on a listserv discussing men's issues.

The other book was one that I actually bought, and to say I bought it sight unseen would be lying, even though I probably would have. It's Stephen King's new book Cell, the first two chapters of which were published a couple weeks back in Entertainment Weekly. The premise, basically is that on a sunny day in October, The Pulse is sent out over everybody's cell phone, and anyone who happened to be on their cell phone at the time is turned into a crazed, flesh-eating zombie. Now as I've outlined here ad infinitum, I will pretty much watch or read anything that has to do with zombies as they are without a doubt my favorite of all movie monsters. So I have high hopes for the novel. Not that I haven't been disappointed by King before -- the climax of It, the entirety of The Tommyknockers, but he is also capable of brilliance -- 'Salem's Lot, which I read at the age of 25 and was still scared to death and the short story collection Night Shift. Many dismiss King for being a hack, but as Heidi mentions, he really cares about the craft of writing and if nothing else, he sure knows how to tell a story. Let's just hope they don't turn Cell into a movie because the movies based on his books almost always disappoint.

Please don't say you're sorry

I managed to get a copy of the Pet Shop Boys' remix of Madonna's next single "Sorry" and all I can say is that it exhibits everything that I love most about remixes. The structure of the song is not altered all that much, and it's still very heavy on Madonna's vocals. But they've beefed up the instrumentation plus added their own vocals to parts of it (Neil Tennant's very sorrowful "sorry, so sorry.." is just what the song needed.)

Overall, "Sorry" is one of my favorite songs on Confessions On A Dance Floor, and I think it has the potential to be a Madonna classic in the vein of "Vogue" and "Into The Groove." That's the trouble with evaluating Madonna's latter-day music -- it always seems to suffer a little bit in comparison to her early hits. (i.e., pretty much everything on The Immaculate Collection.) And admittedly, there's a lot of it that isn't as strong as those early, effortless hits. While Erotica is probably still my favorite Madonna album, it's not nearly as accessible pop-wise as say True Blue is. And perhaps that's why radio hasn't really latched onto any Madonna single since the early 90s ("Take A Bow" and "Music" notwithstanding) as they did instantly to anything she released during the 80s.

I think what I love most about "Sorry" is how dramatic it is. Actually, it's probably more melodramatic than dramatic, but that's good pop music for you. From the initial voiceovers of "I'm sorry" in several different languages, to the minor key of the whole dang thing, it's just so damn dramatic, it really appeals to my inner 4.

Puzz3D -- kicking my ass

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

SUCCESS!

After relatively little wailing and gnashing of teeth, my computer is back up and running again. I was correct in predicting that it definitely didn't follow the path of least resistance, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Actually, it was amazingly good for me to do that with Dad because I really learned a lot. The next time I have a major computer repair, I won't be nearly as afraid to attempt it myself -- which can be good and bad. You just have to know when you're in over your head and to call in the experts.

So tomorrow we're heading down to Ankeny for a much delayed Christmas get together with Mary. It'll be a good time. We're just meeting at Village Inn for lunch and then we're going to be on our merry ways. We also have to stop at Petsmart to see if we can find some more of those Comfort Zone plug ins for the cats so that Blair can stop peeing in inappropriate places -- and stop peeing blood, no less. He's not infected, just stressed out beyond words according the vet. So stressed that his bladder is inflamed and he's got blood in his urine. Poor guy.

I sure am glad to have my computer back. It feels good.

Close to my computer

My dad's coming over today to help me put my computer back together. I'm getting a new motherboard (faster), a whole gigabyte of memory, and new power supply (for fun, I guess, since that didn't seem to be the problem.) I'm half expecting it to not be up and running by the end of the day as assembling computers never follows the path of least resistance. In fact, if all went smoothly, I'd wonder what the trade-off was.

I'll be really glad to have my computer back -- it's been a long few weeks. It's not like there's a shortage of computers in the house (Anna's got one on her little table and Heidi has a laptop which I'm currently working on) but it'll be nice to have all my settings back. I'll be mostly glad to have my 10,000 song strong iTunes library back. There's nothing like not having access to it to wish you had something that is miraculously not on your iPod. And thank heavens for my iPod. Had it not been for that, I'd have been in a world of hurt as far as music listening goes.

So we'll see how it goes. I'm listening to the Evita soundtrack right now, which pretty much guarantees that I'll have the songs stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I'm betting I'll be putting the computer together and have "This has really been your year Ms. Duarte/Tell us where you'll go from here, Ms. Duarte" looping endlessly in my head.

Finally saw Brokeback Mountain

Heidi and I secured child care last night and went out to the Varsity here in Ames to see Brokeback Mountain. All I can say is that I hope this movie sweeps the Oscars, because it deserves to. I will stand by my original assessment of the story that while it is a "gay" story, referring to it as "the gay cowboy movie" is not only doing the movie a great disservice but also grossly understating its potential impact. Scenes like the one where Ennis breaks down and cries because he has no way of telling Jack how he feels as they leave Brokeback Mountain for the first time speak not only to a gay audience, but should also speak to a male audience in general.

Heidi hates sad stories -- part of the reason she writes and reads romance (you can always be assured of a happy ending in romance.) And while I enjoy the catharsis of a sad story, this story just rips my heart out of my chest and throws it on the floor. And while it's a period piece of sorts and you couldn't reasonably expect a "happily ever after" ending, it makes me mad that we're living in a world right now where hate is an ok thing to feel for a group of people. It makes me all that much more committed to being a gay rights advocate in my everyday life.

Everyone needs to see this movie -- especially the bigots that are disavowing it. Of course, they won't see it, but they should. Kudos to everyone involved in the movie for making something so effective. If you see it and don't just feel for everyone in the movie, check yourself for a pulse.

In the meantime, here's hoping that this is the necessary first visit in order to get to the happily ever afters.

Odd iPod segue

OK, by now I've accepted the fact that I've just got some bizarre combinations when it comes to taste in music. But the other day as I was walking to work, listening to my iPod, minding my own business, I was witness to what was perhaps the most bizarre music segue courtesy of "Shuffle Songs" on my iPod. I was listening to "Just Lose It" by Eminem (which I still think is a bit on the lazy side for Eminem) when suddenly, I found myself listening to "Daddy's Moonshine Still" by Dolly Parton. So I went from Eminem making the crazy Pee-Wee Herman noise to Dolly singing about washing mason jars and hiding them from the cops when they came around, and even after all that, Daddy's moonshine still was good for nothing but to break momma's heart and to tear our home apart and make our lives a living hell.

Gotta love it. I think I was grinning ear to ear all the way to work.

Saving the world in his pajamas

Heidi and I just got done watching the Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion episode thanks to our friends from Canada who were to have taped it, but for reasons I don't quite understand didn't, so they got the AVI file and made a videotape of it. And dang, was it something or what? Heidi was worried about how easily David Tennant would fill Christopher Eccleston's shoes, but in my opinion, he's a damn good Doctor. That's not to say he's necessarily better than Christopher Eccleston (OK, maybe I'd say that) but he's definitely different, and that's a good thing.

I never watched Doctor Who growing up, even though it was on PBS every Saturday night. It just seemed too weird to me. Which is why, when Heidi announced that she had the new Doctor Who episodes on tape copied from a Region 2 DVD, my response was a bit on the underwhelming side. Well, that and the fact that the dubbing was so poor that you practically had to have the volume turned up as loud as the TV would go in order to have a prayer of understanding what they were saying. Consequently, the TV was always louder than hell and I just wanted to go down to the basement while they were on. But she kept on me and talked me into letting her order the Region 2 discs from Amazon.uk and buying codes off of eBay that would turn our Region 1 player into a region-free player. Once we got those, I was pretty much hooked.

It reminds me so much in so many ways of Buffy The Vampire Slayer -- scary monsters and weird stuff going on every week, but the people are so genuine and real you just feel like you know them. And after seeing the preview for Season 2, or rather Series 2 after the Christmas Invasion episode, I can hardly wait for the new season, despite the fact that we really have no way to watch it as it's not on BBC America and well, even if it were, we don't have cable so that's kind of a moot point anyway. Suffice to say, I can't wait till those Region 2 DVDs of Series 2 come out. I have a feeling I'm going to like this next set of episodes even better than the first set.

2005 in a nutshell

Well, I can barely believe that 2005 is so much history. It seems like just yesterday I was spending New Year's Day 2005 sicker than a dog (not for that reason!!) and the year was an endless sea of possibilities spread out before me. And now it's gone.

It's been a good year for the most part. This was the first full calendar year I spent at my current job, coming up on 2 years in April. It's a good job and I enjoy it. There are days that I miss the relative simplicity of my previous job, but I realize that the cost of staying there were too high in other areas of my life. I've taken on more responsibilities at work, which is a good thing, but also a bit nerve-wracking because I don't always think that I'm the best person to do some of the things that I'm doing. But I'm learning. It's been a lesson for me so far -- I'm far too much of a people-pleaser (something I got from my mom) and part of some of my new responsibilities require me to jettison some of that and just do the job. So that'll be good for me to learn.

Anna's growing up so fast -- I can hardly believe it. It's funny to think back to June when she wouldn't stay at a play group while Heidi went just down the hall without screaming and crying at being left alone. Now, as I drop her off at preschool, she hardly even notices that I leave. While this is good and an essential part of her development, I can't help but miss the baby she was. However, the little girl she's become is so fantastic. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that my daughter would be singing along to Cher, Kylie and Madonna. I probably should have known though, because she was getting 50% of her genes from me. It's fun watching her pretend-play with her Barbies and Playmobil unicorn set. Sometimes I'm amazed at the fact that I've raised this little girl. While I realize that the job is far from done, it's reassuring to know that so far, so good.

I feel like I've grown a lot in the last year. Isn't that weird -- to be 33 years old and feel like you're growing? Although, on the other hand, I suppose if you stop growing you've probably stopped living. So it's been a good one.

As for changes for the New Year? Well, wouldn't mind losing a little bit of weight (not that I feel I'm overweight, but I'm certainly not getting any younger.) I also want to keep on working on the spiritual aspect of my life -- getting centered in my life and feeling comfortable with myself. That's kind of an ongoing process, I guess. I'm also mulling switching from Blogger to Typepad because, dang, they just have some of the coolest features. Anyone reading this with input, I'm all ears. And if I do switch, I'll just have to make sure I blog more because I'll be paying for the privilege.

So here's to 2006. Happy New Year to anyone who may read these words -- but especially to all the friends that I know will read these words.

It's gonna be light

Blogging, that is. Expect some light blogging for the next week or so. My computer's on the blink -- I think it's the motherboard -- and so I'm currently writing on my 4 year old's computer sitting on her little chair at her little table. So don't expect much. But fear not, I shall return soon.

Ailing Christmas tree

Well, thanks to our cats, our Christmas tree has had a stroke. The above picture isn't the greatest (click to see a bigger view -- it's hard to get a picture of Christmas lights no matter how hard you try) but the entire upper right hand side has no lights any longer. And I sure can't figure out what the hell happened. A part of me doesn't even want to fix it -- exceptional amount of work for only one more week till Christmas -- but I suppose I probably will.

Brokeback backlash begins

I kinda figured it wouldn't take long for the right-wing in this country to come out swinging against Brokeback Mountain now that it's racked up some impressive critics' awards and is all but assured a bevy of nominations at this year's Academy Awards. I had read somewhere that conservative groups were deliberately not fanning the flames of controversy as to not draw too much attention to the story's gay plotline. But once awards started getting heaped upon it, they had no other choice.

I wonder how many of the people speaking out against it have actually seen the movie. I've read the short story upon which the movie is based and let me tell you, while the story is definitely about two gay ranch hands, there's so much more to it than that. It's about relationships, it's about the inevitable heartbreak that comes from trying to be something that you're not. It's about how even had Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist had the words to express their feelings for each other, the societal mores of the time would have squashed them like a bug. But ultimately, to me, the story is about missed opportunity, and how much it can hurt when the opportunity you missed was true love.

I'm lucky -- I get to spend every day with the woman that I love more than anyone in the world (with the possible exception of my daughter, who I love in a completely different way.) But I think that for so many people in this world, gay or straight or somewhere in between, true love misses them, whether by a mile or an inch. In the short story, the ache just emanates off the page. I couldn't help but feel pain and heartbreak for Ennis and Jack. I won't let Heidi read the story before we see the movie because I think that the movie experience might be diluted for her if she knows specific plot points.

I really wish there was more tolerance in this country. I mean, I'm by no means the most tolerant person in the world -- my feelings toward the extreme right-wing and "religious" right in this country would mark me as a liar were I to make that claim. But I just hope that someday people will realize that love is love, and the validity and importance of that love is not cheapened or less valuable by who they choose to love.

Blogging 2005

This image has been making the rounds in the blogosphere, but it doesn't make it any less funny. My personal favorite -- I'M THIRTEEN AND EVERYTHING SUCKS!!

How many copies do I really need to own?

Madonna, how much of my money are you eventually going to get from your Confessions on a Dance Floor project? I bought the regular CD the day it was released because I wanted the continuous mix, but I also wanted instant gratification that morning so I bought the unmixed version of the CD on iTunes for $9.99. Overall, that only cost me $20.00 because the CD was on sale at Target for 10 bucks.

I vowed that I wouldn't purchased the limited edition that's coming out tomorrow. Even though it has a bonus track "Fighting Spirit." And a year long membership to her official fan club ICON which would gain me access to yet another bonus track called "Super Pop." And I'm not one to join fan clubs because they're mostly just ways to suck money out of fans. Additionally, I'd get the 40 page book with more photos from the photo shoot.

*sigh* I guess she'll probably get more of my money. But I'll wait to see if someone buys it for me for Christmas first as I told Heidi that's a good thing to tell people to get me if they're having trouble. That way, Madonna would get someone else's money for a change!

Christmas time is here

We got all our Christmas stuff up last weekend and it's nice to actually have snow this year. Anna has no concept of the fact that Christmas is still two weeks away so she continually asks "Is it Christmas yet?" She loves the ornaments and Heidi and I love getting them out every year because it's like a trip down memory lane each year. Rather than being all anal and having deliberate themes for our tree every year (I remember one year my mom didn't have anything but Santa ornaments on her tree), we enjoy having the mishmash of ornaments that we have. It really represents us--a mishmash of all our life histories.

I don't really want much for Christmas and have had tons of fun shopping for people this year. Anna's so easy to shop for and everyone just showers stuff on her as she's the only grandchild in either of our families. I asked her to pose by the tree for me when we put it up, so here she is in Santa hat and everything.