So I spent a lot of today being frustrated with my computer. Not so good. I ignored my daughter. I was not nice to Heidi even though she did nice things for me. The frustrating part is the story I haven't told here yet for fear of seeming silly. I went to Best Buy on Sunday, fully intending to spend the 50 dollars to have them diagnose whatever problem I had with my computer. They told me (for free) that it was likely the motherboard. Heidi and I talked about it and we decided that rather than take a chance with crappy parts again, I would just go ahead and buy a new desktop PC. And all in all, I'm a PC kind of guy. I've never had a Mac and I've got tons of PC software.
I get this computer home and almost immediately I'm reminded of why I always warn people against buying computers at Best Buy. It doesn't recognize any operating system on this prebuilt computer. Fuck me. So I do a system restore, which really, I shouldn't have to do on a computer I just bought, and Windows XP and all that gets reinstalled and it's all hunky dory until I realize that NONE of the drivers are installed. So I take the computer back to Best Buy where I talk to a guy named Ryan who's really cool and he installs all my drivers and gets me back on my feet again. Cool. Well, I get it home and the monitor is all fucked up -- it can't display in the right colors and when I try to hook it up to Anna's computer, it has a completely red sheen across it. At this point, I'm just pissed. But then, to top it all off, it doesn't recognize the wireless network in the house. At this point, I decide that I'm just going to take it back and get my money back and start from scratch.
I go to Best Buy this morning and get a guy that's not quite as helpful as Ryan was and he says "I can't find anything wrong with this computer!" The monitor looks fine. The wireless connection at Best Buy is detected right away. And because I think, in my heart of hearts, I really do want a PC, I agree to take it home and give it another shot. I hook it up, the monitor looks fine, and the wireless connection shows up. However, I never really get a good signal. I figure that once I get it set up and in its place, it should run like a champ. I should have known better.
I get it set up downstairs in my office and fuck me if it can't even find a wireless connection anywhere. Heidi takes time out of her day where she's trying to write her synopsis to submit to an agent to talk to Linksys to see if there's anything they can help us with. They get all our other computers up and running, but still, alas, they cannot figure out what's wrong with mine. They try to tell me that my computer is out of range. Well, hello, I have the laptop right next to me with an "excellent" connection. So that's not the problem. I called them tonight after I got home from work since they have 24/7 tech support and they do a few more things - probably way more than they should have to, but to no avail. I still have no wireless connection on this computer that should have worked right out of the box. I mean, I'm not naive or anything, I realize that wireless networks can take time to set up, but COME ON! This is bordering on ridiculous.
I'm currently trying to decide whether or not I want to just take the whole thing back and not let them talk me into it trying again like they did this morning. The problem is that I have a hellacious schedule tomorrow that has me leaving at 8:30 tomorrow morning and not getting home until 7 in the evening. I mean, I could box it all up tonight and go out to Best Buy immediately after work tomorrow or I could try to call them and see if they can figure out what the problem with my network adapter is since they sold me the damn thing. But a part of me is just ready to forget the whole damn thing and use the laptop until I can figure out what I want.
I'm ashamed in a lot of ways. But really, I shouldn't be, as a computer straight out of the box should work. I feel like I made some really bad choices. Perhaps I did. Maybe I didn't. But in any event, I'm feeling like one of the worst possible versions of myself right now. My reptile brain is really in control - I'm mean and vindictive and really don't give a shit about anybody but me right now. As far as work goes, I'm basically just showing up and doing my job and going home. I can't remember to take my Cymbalta and when I forget for more than a couple days in a row, I get dizzy and feel sick to my stomach. So yeah, I have work to do.
I think I'll sleep on it tonight. Lord knows I'm tired enough. Let's hope that tomorrow shows not only an upgrade in my computer, but in the version of myself that's participating in life.