I'm feeling much like my beloved zombies from movie monster lore these days - not in the wanting to eat a human brain type way, but in the feeling just a little bit more than dead. I was thinking while I was waiting for Anna to be done with her dance class tonight that there really is no reason for feeling as tired as I have been. Does everyone's job wear them out as much as mine does? Granted, today was a bit of an extreme day by any measurement, but still, I come home from work more days than not completely zonked and just thinking about how early I can get to bed. It's why there haven't been more updates here, why I can't seem to summon up the gumption to e-mail people (sorry to all who are on my to-be-emailed list, I promise to get to you sooner rather than later) and why I wake up tired. Every. Single. Morning.
There are days I wonder - is this life? Is this what everyone experiences and I'm just a monumental wuss that can't handle it? I prefer not to think that, but some days, it really feels that way. It's not like I'm out digging ditches or putting up drywall all day - you know, something very physically demanding. Granted, what I do is very mentally draining which can be just as bad. But for Pete's sake, I'd love to have at least a little bit of a brain at the end of the day for things that I want to do. Heck, I'd love to have enough of a brain to just play My Little Pony with my daughter without feeling like I am about to fall asleep.
I think a lot of it has to do with winter. While I do like the winter very much, I am getting eager for spring. Most years, I am not eager for spring because in Iowa, we jump from freezing your ass off cold to insanely humid summer with little of the in between weather that makes the changing seasons so great around here. I am vowing to be more active once spring gets here - hopefully shed some of this winter weight and get to feeling better about myself and life in general. Don't get me wrong - I'm not insanely depressed or anything, but mostly just a little bit weary. I think that once spring gets here and we shake off some of the winter blech that's kind of settled around here, things should be better.
In better news, Casey Stratton released his brand spanking new record The Crossing today!! YAY!! I've been listening to it today. Expect a more coherent review later this week. In the meantime, order it here...it's a pre-order for now, but you get instant digital downloads save 2 tracks which will be on the physical CD (out in April, more than likely.)