Thursday, February 08, 2007

Light blogging week

And I thought that last week was a light blogging week? Apparently, this is what light blogging really is. It's funny, I've had times where I've gone weeks and weeks without updating the blog and not really thought anything of it. But things change, I guess. I'll never be a world class blogger like Daily Kos or any of the other A-list bloggers - and really, I don't want that anyway. Despite the fact that the internet seems to bring out a "this is who I am, you can like it or not!" ballsiness in me, I'm actually a pretty private person. And being an A-list blogger is a bit like being a celebrity which I don't think I could ever take.

This week has been a challenge in so many ways. There are times that I wonder if I have the wherewithal to get through it all, but that is yet another example of me hanging onto the drama and not seeing things for what they really are. If there's any one thing I love in my life (and I have this in common with every other Enneagram Four on the planet) is the drama. I'm in love with it in so many instances. And it gets hard for me to see where the drama ends and the reality begins - or vice versa, or upside down, inside out, or whatever. I think I'd be a lot happier (and infinitely healthier) if I learned to jettison the drama and just concentrate on what's real. And it's not real if you're not looking at it - as so many Sevens say.

I wish life were as calm as that picture of Anna and me in the previous post. But even that picture is an illusion. I remember when she was that small and things were SO not that calm. They were full of nights of little sleep and times where she wouldn't quit crying no matter how much we held her. So I guess it just goes to show that nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems. Someone at work said today "it was all so simple in high school, wasn't it?" Erm, no, actually, for me it wasn't. But perhaps, for her, it was.

Right now, I'm listening to Confessions on a Dance Floor and it has never sounded better than at this very moment. Which is really saying something.

Celebrate me for who I am, dislike me for what I ain't, indeed.

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