Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Crankpot

That's what we call Anna when she acts (and probably feels) like I'm feeling today.

And yes, I'll admit it, I am a bit on the cranky side this morning. I am mostly irritated with my re-entry into the real world. It's not my job that frustrates me, it's the whole act of working. I'm getting incredibly irritated with anything that demands my time to do something I'm not 100% behind. Part of that, I think, stems from me not really wanting to live in the real world right now. I can't decide if this is a bad thing or not. I mean, on one hand, a little bit of escapism is good, but when all you want is escape? Is that addiction? Is that dangerous? I can't tell.

I suppose the fact that I can recognize that I'm trying to escape a little bit too much means that I'm not all that far gone. But for right now, I'm wanting to do nothing but sit at the computer and listen to music and surf mindlessly. I have this unfortunate habit of tsking the mindless watching of television all night after work. I can't understand how people can do it. But isn't that, essentially, the same thing as what I want do, just using a different size screen?

I don't know - I suppose it's just a phase. I'm sure I'll be right as rain in a few days, but still, I can't help but feel a bit on the cranky side today. Not at anyone or anything, but at life in general. And giving myself permission to be cranky is the first step. The second step is to not get all caught up in it. Not doing so well on that second step. It's a doozy.

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