I woke early this morning from the strangest, most disturbing dream. It was all a swirl of craziness, but what I do remember is that I had cancer. It was either in my jaw or my chest or something, but it was very serious. And I was dying. That particular day.
In the dream, I vividly remember it being 88 days since my diagnosis. It was like I was looking at a piece of paper with the number 88 on it. And I've googled myself silly trying to figure out what the significance of the number 88 is. And either my googling skills aren't what they used to be, or there really is nothing about the significance of the number, which I find incredibly difficult to believe. I did find that the number 44 relates to a sacred union or divine marriage, but that really doesn't seem to fit, does it?
In any event, the dream was very disturbing to me. It was one of those early morning dreams that you wake up from and are then expected to launch into your day. As I was waking up, I remember feeling like I was slipping away and all I wanted to do was wait for my brother to make it back to Iowa before I died.
It freaked me out. In fact, I'm still a little bit freaked out, especially now that it's night again and I'm getting ready to head to bed in a bit. It's been a while since I've had a dream like that - that scared me like this one did.