Jeff's questions

These 5 questions came from my friend Jeff who I have known and been friends with for 22 years! That seriously boggles my mind to think about. To paraphrase Cher, I'm not sure how that's possible as I'm not even 22 years old yet, but I digress. As I am fond of saying, some of my first memories of Jeff are being in high school P.E. class and while the rest of the class was participating, we were talking about the "La Isla Bonita" video. Since then, he has been my never-failing partner in crime for all things Madonna. Here we go.

1. Other than being women, what is the common link that Dolly, Madonna, Olivia, and Barbra possess that make them appeal to you?

You can throw Cher into that mix as well, but you know, I'm not really sure. The common thread that runs through them, as I detailed on my big gay iPod post is that they are all gay divas. Not that every gay man in the world listens to those artists, but let's face it, that's their core fan base. And then me. Truthfully though, what appeals to me about all of them is they have their own style, except for maybe Olivia who has always kind of followed trends, but she was my first celebrity crush so she gets a pass for that. That, and they are all strong women with opinions and what's not to like about that? I have never been a fan of women who are shy, shrinking violets with no opinions.

Plus, these women have tremendous back catalogs which make for exceptionally fun listnening. Regardless of my mood, I know I can find something in their libraries to match it.

2. Why were Joyce and LaJean so bored? What happened?

A bit of background on this one: Joyce and LaJean were 5th grade teachers at our elementary school. They had rooms right next to each other and the way the school was built, there was a little space between each classroom and both Joyce and LaJean put their desks right next to it so they could talk through that space. Anyway, they had packets that we had to do, units, if you will. And it kind of alternated, one packet was in Joyce's handwriting, the next one would be in LaJean's and so on and so forth. Joyce was one of my favorite teachers in elementary school, but there can be no denying that she was not what you would call a ball of fire.

Anyway, what do I think happened? Easy. Burn out. It happens to everyone in every career. Probably the best thing that happened to them was when LaJean moved up to the middle school. That forced them out of the packet strategy and into something new (I hope.)

Personally, I like to think they were just pissed that they were ineligible from winning Calendar Clue.

3. If there was one acceptable characteristic of yourself that you had to give up in order to continue living, what would it be?

I'm not really sure how to answer this, because it boils down to what about myself that I like do I like the least. I suppose if I had to give it up to keep living, I'd give up about anything, but I suppose I could live without my height, although I do love it!!

4. If Cher and Madonna made an album together, what three re-make songs must they record together?

Well, for that to happen, Cher would have to stop doing a nearly 10 year old tour in Vegas (SERIOUS disappointment over the set list, folks. So much for it being a "brand new show") and Madonna would have to "be a little more magnanimous and a little less of a c*nt." (Cher really said that about her! Believe it!) Of course, an album like that would be an instant purchase as well as an instant camp classic. And since it would be a camp classic, why not play up the camp factor? As for three remake songs, the first would be "No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)" - haven't we been talking about that for years? Second would be a remake of "Islands In The Stream" with a pumping disco beat behind it. Lastly, I think they should cover the song "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" from the musical Annie Get Your Gun. It was rumored that Madonna and Barbra were going to be doing that on her Back To Broadway album in the mid 90s, but it fell through. Who better to resurrect it than Cher and Madge?

5. If you had to become someone else you personally knew for the next five years, who would you choose to be and why?

This is a cop-out, I know, but I would miss being me too much to do this! This is not to say my life is this rosy thing that is without ups and downs and all arounds, but at the end of the day, I am very glad to be in my own skin.

Although being Lonnie K. would be fun if for no other reason than to drive that big-ass truck he drove back in the late 80s. But 5 years? No chance.

Here ya go, Jeff. One of our faves!