Thursday 13 - Madge tour edition

So far, I’ve been to three Madonna tours – Drowned World in Chicago, IL, Re-Invention in Washington, D.C. and Confessions in Las Vegas, NV. And while the show is always the highlight of the trip, there are, inevitably experiences along the way to and from the show that make the whole experience stand out. Hence, this week’s Thursday 13. Oh, and just so you know, here’s the key: DWT = Drowned World Tour, RIT = Re-Invention Tour and CT = Confessions Tour.

Thirteen non Madonna related memories of going to see Madge in concert

1. The Chicago cabbie that was certain I was gay because I was going to a Madonna concert with a guy friend. He unfortunately made the mistake of telling this to my at-the-time very pregnant wife. Sit back and watch the fireworks, folks. (DWT, 2001)
2. The woman in the Des Moines airport who was having 18 kinds of fits over the fact that the plane was delayed. Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s a SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING out there sweetie. Do you really want them to try to take off in weather like this? (RIT, 2004)
3. The layover in the Detroit airport where Jeff and I laughed uproariously about the possibility of Barbra Streisand ordering a calzone in the airport. “Calzone for Barb, Barb, your calzone is ready.” And then us talking about how if we ever did see Barbra Streisand go into an airport bathroom, we’d send Heidi in after her. Why, we have no idea. (RIT, 2004)
4. Walking all over downtown Chicago looking for a Blockbuster that might rent a VCR so that Heidi could watch the taped HBO broadcast of the tour while Jeff and I were at the show. She did this 6 months pregnant. I never cease to be amazed by not only her stamina but her patience in putting up with me all these years. (DWT, 2001)
5. Trying to get a cab to the airport for our red-eye flight out of Vegas. I ask the guy at the MGM Grand the best way to get to the airport and he says to get in line for a cab. He didn’t mention that EVERYBODY ELSE IN LAS VEGAS would be out there waiting for a cab as well. We nearly missed our flight, folks. (CT, 2006)
6. The worst flight I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing – the 12:45AM flight out of Vegas to Dallas. Part of it was my fault because I thought no one would be on a red-eye flight and that we’d be able to stretch out. That sucker was full. Not a seat to be had. And the air was even more stale than usual. And I was thirsty and hadn’t stopped to get anything to drink. Plus being so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and seats that were designed for people that are not 6’1”. Plus the guy next to me that was about 2 inches tall that was curled up in the seat and slept the entire time just served to annoy me. Note to self: too old to spend 12 hours in Vegas, be up all night and be on an airplane.
7. Getting a chance to see the gorgeous World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C. before the show. We weren’t in D.C. long enough to take in many sites, but this was one we didn’t want to miss. It was so cool. (RIT, 2004)
8. Jeff having to pass a kidney stone the entire time we were in Vegas and never breathing a word. Seriously! (CT, 2006)
9. (A not so good memory) The racist wanker in the Dallas airport who was going on and on to this family who’d just returned from Hawaii about how much he hated being in Hawaii on vacation because he felt like he was the only white person in Hawaii. He also said that he couldn’t wait to leave because he was so tired of feeling like a minority. If I hadn’t been so damn tired, I think I’d have said something because the family did have young kids. Idiot. (CT, 2006)
10. Smelling burning plastic on our takeoff from Chicago to Vegas. Jeff tried to lighten the mood by saying “Who is using a glue gun in the back of the plane? Are they doing crafts or something?” (CT, 2006)
11. The whole idea that you could FLY somewhere to go to a concert. The morning Re-Invention Tour tickets went on sale, I had to be somewhere else so Jeff and Heidi tried to get tickets. By the time I got back, I had tickets to the show. However, instead of going to Chicago as we had agreed on, we were now going to Washington, D.C. And I had just taken a new job and had no idea if I’d be able to get that time off. Plus I was buying a house prior to having sold the one I owned. And Jeff was in the process of being laid off of his job. The things we do for Madge! (RIT, 2004)
12. Faux celebrity watching the lobby of the New York, New York casino. Anyone who looked like a celebrity, we had to mention it. “Oh look, there goes Penny Marshall! Oh, look it’s M. Night Shyamalan!” (CT, 2006)
13. And finally, making the inevitable joke while we waited for Madonna to take the stage that she had to quick run to Target to pick up some Lee Press-On Nails. We’ve been making that joke at concerts since we saw Whitney Houston in Ames in 1992! (all three tours!)

OK, so the last one was kind of a Madonna related memory, but it was worth sharing!

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody, whether you live in the U.S. or not!