Still trying to save the princess

After months of eyeballing it, today I finally purchased Dragon's Lair for the iPod Touch. For those that don't know, Dragon's Lair is a Don Bluth animated video game from 1983 in which you control the movements of Dirk the Daring through an enchanted castle in an attempt to rescue a princess from the clutches of an evil dragon. When I was a kid, this was the creme de la creme of arcade games. Instead of herky-jerky graphics, it was pretty much a full fledged cartoon that responded to your controls. What could be better?

In all honesty, a lot. I think most of the times I played Dragon's Lair as a kid, the game lasted an average of 1.3 minutes. This was especially distressing because instead of costing a single quarter, it was 50 cents per play which ate up your Adventureland pocket money twice as fast. I could never figure it out. The technology drew you in, but control of the character was so different from every other arcade game we blew our money on that it never gave me a good game playing experience. Mostly, I walked away from it with a bad taste in my mouth and feeling cheated out of my money.

After my early 80s experiences, I never really thought much about Dragon's Lair until I bought a PC version of the game in the mid-90s. It was only then that I really figured out how to control the knight and even then, it was after massive amounts of fail. I managed to maneuver Dirk past all the main obstacles and make it all the way to the dragon's lair, but try as I might, I could never defeat the dragon, and since 90s technology is pretty much incompatible with late 2000s technology, I figured I had missed my chance at ever beating the game. But as is so often the case these days, Apple saved the day.

I spent quite a while this afternoon playing Dragon's Lair on the iPad. Even though it's an iPod app, it looks pretty good on the iPad. I actually can't imagine playing it on something as small as an iPhone, but hey, any port in a storm. Gameplay is just like I remember it except instead of a joystick, there's arrows and a sword button on the screen. In a turn of events that would have made my quarters last a hell of a lot longer as a kid, the controls light up in the direction you're supposed to move Dirk just before you need to do so. This kind of ticked me off at first because after all I'm way too cool to need help! But after a few rounds of getting my ass kicked even WITH the controls that light up, I rethought my position.

Could it get repetitive? Oh sure. Is it frustrating as all get out in some places? Definitely. But it still takes me back to days when my biggest problem was running through my allowance in 15 minutes in the back of Hy-Vee plugging quarters into video games. And the best thing of all? The app is only 99 cents. That's right - for less than the price of a cup of coffee, you too could be playing Dragon's Lair.

Oh, yeah, except you have to have that pesky Apple technology which costs decidedly MORE than the price of the most expensive cup of coffee.

First person

Boing Boing posted this, and Heidi sent it to me without even watching it. She didn't know if it would be any good, and really, it's pretty good. Not orgasmically fantastic or anything, but still. It is Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World" over the top of video from the first-person shooter zombie game Left 4 Dead.



I do not, nor have I really ever, gotten into first person shooter games. It's not that I'm opposed to the bloody gore and violence that is rampant in pretty much all of them - I'm not. My biggest beef with them is that I SUCK AT THEM. My brother Ryan is the undisputed first-person shooter champion in our family. There was not a single one of those kinds of games that he did not try out and eventually beat.

My dad says that the reason Ryan is so good at those games is that he is very spatial and has the map of each level in his head. I would agree with that statement, but I also just think his interest level in them is higher than mine. I am kind of interested in games like Doom and Halo in the abstract, but the execution of the game is infinitely less satisfying than I think it will be. I'm impatient with the controls and for they always seem so poorly lit that gameplay is just not what it should be. Mostly, I play for 5 minutes, fumbling around in the dark and then get shot to smithereens by some unseen enemy. Not so much fun if you ask me.Even Alien vs. Predator failed to get me into FPS games.

Well, when we were in California, the friends we were staying with had Left 4 Dead. I watched Stephen play the game one night, and believe me, if any game is going to get me to play a FPS game, it will be Left 4 Dead. The basic premise is to shoot the hell out of zombies and get to a designated "safe zone" in each level. What is really cool about the game is that it is NOT just mindless shooting. There's a back story and incredible attention to detail. It also has a level of AI that controls the difficulty and events, so that it's not just the same game over and over again. The zombies just keep coming and keep coming. They are relentless, which is what they should be. They're zombies after all (or, more accurately, infected. But they did die so they are techincally zombies.)

Alas, no matter how much I want to try this game, it is not to be. My computer doesn't even meet the minimum processor speed for it - something which I presumed while watching Stephen play it on his state-of-the-art gaming system.

So if I seem down on FPS games, I guess I am a little bit. But I did manage to play one FPS game all the way through - and that was Wolfenstein 3D. It is incredibly lame by today's standards, but I sure had a hell of a good time with it back in the summer of 1994 when I played it through to the end, with my sister sitting with me in my bedroom while we listened to Olivia Newton-John's Soul Kiss and Basia's The Sweetest Illusion. Whenever I listen to The Sweetest Illusion, I always think of Wolfenstein 3D.

Consolation prize

Last night when I was having my nightly bowl of cereal, this little wonder was at the top of the Raisin Bran box.

It plays three little tinny guitar tunes that really rock out when you hit the whammy bar. What it does not do is replicate the Guitar Hero experience.

It got me to thinking...perhaps that will be the Guitar Hero that some kids get this year! Kind of like the kids who got these instead of fancy Atari 2600s when I was a kid.

Truth be told, that port of Donkey Kong was probably on par with the Atari 2600 port, so maybe the kids that were recipients of the Donkey Kong tabletop were ultimately the winners!

A chip off the old (Lego) block

Back in June, for Father's Day (Bedelia), Anna and Heidi got me Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga for the Wii. I had heard about it and seen it advertised in various places. My friend Matt assured me that it was a good game to play with kids Anna's age, mostly because it is more cooperative than it is competitive. And truthfully, who can resist seeing one of the defining movie series of our generation played out before you in Lego blocks?

So they picked it up - $49.99 in June of 2008. Of course, it is $19.99 at Target right now, but when I think of the hours that Anna and I have spent playing the game, I think that it has been worth more than 30 dollars. She loves it, and what's better, she has really learned a lot about the Star Wars mythology via this game. The game is clever, easy to play for the most part (although there are some places that just stump the hell out of you) and seeing those classic scenes made up of Legos is just a blast.

Anyway, last night, we took Super Mario Galaxy (which I think Anna is going to be getting for Christmas - it was the second time we had rented it) back to Hastings. I wasn't sure I was going to rent anything else but there was Lego Batman: The Videogame, which I had seen the trailer for and had been very interested in. Basically, it is the same premise as Lego Star Wars, only this time, you're playing with the classic Batman characters from the comic books. Anna thought that sounded like fun and so did I.

We were not disappointed. It is harder than Lego Star Wars, but I think a lot of that is the learning curve. We are used to characters that wield light sabers, blasters and use The Force. No such thing here, obviously. We're still getting the hang of the Batarang (and keep forgetting about being able to use it in sticky spots.) Overall, it suffers a little bit because you are not playing through something that is practically a part of our generational DNA, but it is colorful and funny and will definitely be replayable. Right now, we're playing cooperatively as Batman and Robin (for some reason, I ALWAYS have to be Robin,) but you can also play levels as one of many different villains. I can't wait to play the villain levels, but that will probably require us to purchase the game as I don't see us getting that far by next Saturday.



Ultimately, what I love about these games is the time I get to spend solving puzzles with my daughter, even though sometimes we get very frustrated (sometimes with each other.) The cartoony level of violence is appropriate for someone her age - there is no blood, only people made of Legos shattering apart. No, it is not the cure for cancer or world peace, but it is fun and something Anna and I can enjoy together.