Duran Duran, moving anxieties

My music choice this morning is Duran Duran's 1986 album Notorious. I'm not quite sure what prompted me to listen to this, but it's pretty good for a mid 80s "comeback" CD. Were Duran Duran really making a comeback in 1986? Maybe it was all those side projects--Arcadia, Andy Taylor solo career--that just made it seem like a comeback. Who the hell knows?

So I'm down to three days of work left, and I'm feeling a bit of separation anxiety, but I think it'll be okay. We're done interviewing candidates for my job and I have a pretty good idea who John will hire. So that's good to have that out of the way. I was distressed learning what other pharmacist's positions are paying around the area because dang, I've been working for peanuts for the last 5 years. And if you're to believe some of the things I heard, I'll still be working for (relative) peanuts when I change jobs. Oh well--that's when I tell myself there's more to jobs than the salary. I have no regrets about how this move has played out.

I'll miss John a lot--he's been so much more than just a "boss" to me. He's become my friend along the way too. It's amazing to me that I won't see him every day like I do now. But as I told him, I'll still send him e-mail forwards and as I keep trying to tell myself, just because I'm moving doesn't mean that I'm falling off the face of the Earth so I'll still be alive and if people from work want to get in touch with me, well, I'll be available. That is the one thing that I'm not really looking forward to in the new job--I'm going to have to get to know people all over again, and that's hard and fraught with unknowns and difficulties. But what are my options, really? Never talk to these people? I don't think so. I try to focus of how exciting it'll be to have a whole new social circle and think of the possibilities (which really are endless.)

Mostly, I'm with Heidi. I just want to do this. Being on the edge of moving is just awful.

In the meantime--check this article out in Salon. It's an interview with John Dean and the title of the article is "Creepier Than Nixon."

Andrew Solomon's "A Bitter Pill"

Op-Ed Contributor: A Bitter Pill

This is an op-ed piece from today's New York Times (you'll have to register to read it--it's free) that is written by Andrew Solomon. Solomon is the author of a book called The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression in which he recounts his terrifying descent into depression (by comparison, mine looked like Sunday afternoon in the park) and his ascent out of it--as well as looking at cultural and sociological aspects of the disease. His piece in NYT today is regarding the new FDA warnings that are going to be required on SSRI-type anti-depressants and I think it's just about the most intelligent take on this subject I've read yet. Funny, it sounds a lot like Lynette's take on depression and the labeling changes.

As someone who's a depression survivor (I know that seems like hyperbole but believe me, when you consider the mortality from untreated depression, I consider anyone who makes it back to be a survivor) and a pharmacist, I can't stress the importance of the role these drugs play in giving people their lives back. But they aren't a panacea and nothing will take the place of careful patient monitoring by a qualified health-care provider.

I'll quit before I sound any more like a public-service announcement. :)

Fast Company | The Wal-Mart You Don't Know

Fast Company | The Wal-Mart You Don't Know

I found this article while surfing at www.blogdex.net which cites some of the most frequently blogged items on the internet. It's interesting, to say the least. Heidi and I have decided that we're going to purposely not shop at Wal-Mart once we move to Ames just because we have other choices. Where we live now doesn't provide us with much of a choice because Wal-Mart pretty much drove all the small retailers in town out of business because they couldn't compete with Wal-Mart's "everyday low prices." People speak very fondly of what life in Washington used to be like before Wal-Mart. While I highly doubt that it's all Wal-Mart's fault, I'm sure it had something to do with it. Wal-Mart's pretty much evil in my mind, but I'm sure I'm not the first person to say that.

More to the blog roll, Madonna strikeout

I'm adding a new blog to the blog roll. I don't know this guy at all but his blog is fun to read. It's My Stupid Dog written by a guy named Tim who describes his blog as "miscellaneous culture and politics (but mostly culture) from a gay, conservative grad student and former writing teacher living between careers in beautiful Charlottesville, Virginia." He was linked in the article on why zombies run so fast that was on Slate the other day which is how I stumbled across his blog. Interesting stuff. Funny how zombies connect people.

And as you can probably imagine, getting Madonna tickets was a complete exercise in futility--mostly Heidi's exercise as she was the one at home doing the calling. When we got tickets for the Drowned World Tour, you could get in a phone queue at Ticketmaster before the tickets went on sale, but they wouldn't let you do that for some reason or another this time around. So Heidi tried calling at exactly 10AM and, of course, she could never get through. We were headed to Iowa City for the day so we just kind of resigned ourselves to not being able to get tickets. I came back from Iowa City last night to find out that not only had they added two additional Chicago shows after the first one sold out, but that both of those were sold out as well! There is one addition show (four total) for which tickets have yet to go on sale, but I'm not holding my breath. In a way, it seems kind of silly and I really don't have the money and I'm not really wanting to drive to Chicago. I can always cross my fingers and hope she adds a Des Moines date, but yeah right! Like that's gonna happen! :) Oh well, guess I'd rather get an iPod anyway, but Jeff'll kill me if I don't at least try to get tickets for that last show. Tickets go on sale on Saturday, April 3rd, so we'll see.

100 Movies That Deserve More Love

100 Movies That Deserve More Love

Came across this quite randomly this morning while killing time before church. A fun read.

Madonna...iPod...Madonna...iPod

With the news that Madonna's touring again, I've run into a bit of a snag. I really really really wanted to beg and plead with Heidi and my folks and whoever else wanted to contribute to the cause to get an iPod (or at least an iPod mini) for my birthday. And then Madonna had to go and decide to tour. The tickets start at $45, but those just won't do. No, no, no. Those are probably in the back behind the stage not far from where we sat the last time. Jeff and I talked and we decided that the highest we'll go is the $150 seats ($300 is the max price) but the chances of us getting tickets are pretty remote--especially when you take into consideration things like this. But we'll see.

On the other hand, I really want an iPod. I would love to be able to have that much music at my fingertips for exercising and riding the bus to work (should I decide to go that route) or whatever else might come up. However, it's hard to justify spending that much money on concert tickets *and* and iPod. Oh well, maybe I'll just have to wait another year. Perhaps they'll come down in price. Perhaps I'll save myself the trouble of buying the 21st century equivalent of an 8-track player.

And besides, how many more times is Madonna going to come around?

Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

I swear to you--after I go see the Dawn of the Dead remake this weekend, I'll stop blogging about zombies. Maybe. OK, maybe not. I may have to go out and buy the Day of the Dead DVD just for fun.

Choices, choices....

Saw this book up at Barnes & Noble tonight--Fat White Vampire Blues by Andrew Fox. It looked half way interesting, although it could be awful because it sounds like the protagonist is quite the whiner. I didn't really get a chance to peruse it very much as Anna was insistent on running through B&N with an umbrella and figured that probably wasn't the best idea in the world.

I'm almost finished with Under The Banner of Heaven which has been a fascinating read. It's definitely got an anti-Mormon slant, but it's still a good story. Krakauer is a good writer, well, maybe not so much a good writer as he is an engaging one. I still think the best Mormon book I've read is Nightfall At Nauvoo which is, unfortunately, out of print and next to impossible to find at a half-way decent price. I think the next book on my TBR list is The Da Vinci Code. It looks like a fast read as well.

Zombies zombies everywhere

Well, I finished Dawn of the Dead (1978) tonight--what a hoot! A great zombie flick. For the life of me, I can't figure out what possessed me to think that it wasn't that good the last time I tried to watch it. It must have been the weather or something, because it was scary and hilarious and all the things a good zombie movie should be. Lots and lots and lots of zombies. My favorites are (in no particular order):

1) The aforementioned Hare Krishna zombie
2) The nurse zombie
3) The nun zombie
4) The zombie that the invading gang of thugs took the tackled to get her jewelry.

And I totally forgot that this movie contains what is probably the only zombie pie fight ever captured on film. Ryan had told me about that, but I completely forgot about it till tonight.

And for a really stupid quiz to wrap up tonight's blog entry...

Nurse


Which Dawn of The Dead Zombie Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Wait, I'm a girl zombie?? ;)

Man, I'm exhausted. Slept really poorly last night + I had to get up at 5:45 AM to be to work at 6:30ish to mix cataract stuff. But I did manage to get out of there at 3:30, so that's not too bad. I figure that this is a lot what a 7-3 shift at Ames will be like. I could get into this. I think I'd be okay if I hadn't slept so crappily last night. I don't know what it was--I just tossed and turned and couldn't get comfortable. Finally, I got up and read for a little bit hoping that would make me sleepy, which it finally did. It was well after midnight by the time I got to sleep.

I was going to post this link back in October, but never did. Now, with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre coming out on DVD, I thought it would apropos to post it now. It's called "The Best Little Chophouse in Town -- The Allure of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" I also managed to watch a good chunk of Dawn of the Dead last night since Anna fell asleep at 7:30 PM and Heidi's currently in a total writing mode. Better than I remember it being. This is the U.S. theatrical cut, so a lot of the gore that was in the version I watched this summer (director's cut) is excised and believe me, less is definitely more. I think my favorite zombie is still the Hare Krishna Gandhi-meets-Stanford-Blatch zombie that attacks the female lead in their little bunker at the mall

Had to cancel my appointment with Claire tomorrow as they're interviewing someone for my job tomorrow and my presence was requested. So I'll be going next Monday, and come hell or high water, I will be there. It's probably best as it'll be right before the move. I'll miss Claire a lot. Don't know that I'll find someone in Ames that can fill her shoes.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 edition) is coming out on DVD at the end of March. I'll have to go pick up the fully loaded 2-disc special edition when it comes out. That's one of the things I'm really looking forward to in the new house--I'll have a place where I can watch my horror movies and not worry about Heidi or Anna having to watch them.

I slept way too late this morning--when I start my new job I'm going to have to figure out a way to get up earlier! This is the second to the last week at my job here. It's funny how quickly it seems to be wrapping up. Personally, it can't happen soon enough. We've made the decision and now we just want to move and get it over with. A month from now, we'll be completely moved to Ames with our only connection to Washington being this house if it doesn't manage to sell in the meantime.

I still get worried about the money. I can't figure out how I can afford to do all this, but every time I sit down and crunch the numbers, it works out. So I need to just get a grip and trust that it'll all be okay. I think about Ames and I just get so excited. I'm so eager to live in the neighborhood that we're going to be living in. I can't wait to take Anna to the park and to the library. I can't wait to take her on the bus. It's going to be so much better for everyone in our family.

If it seems like I'm trying to convince myself of that by saying it over and over again, I think that's just a defense mechanism because I'm really not much of a risk taker and this amounts to a big risk in the short term. In the long run, it'll be a great move, but the financial and emotional crunch of the move will definitely show short term. Good thing I'm going to Claire tomorrow.

Oh, and what would a blog post be without a link to somewhere. The Exorcist in 30 seconds re-enacted by bunnies.

I noticed this week just how weak the comic strip Garfield has become. Not that I hadn't noticed this before, but it just seemed especially apparent this week. The entire week was spent with Jon having put a toilet plunger on his face. The strip then managed to milk that joke (which wasn't particularly funny in the first place) the entire week. Maybe it's just me, but most of the comics really aren't that funny anymore. Most of the really good ones were retired before they began to age horribly (Calvin & Hobbes immediately jumps to mind, followed by The Far Side) and some of the ones that hang on are just ridiculous--most notably The Family Circus--just how many times are they going to resurrect the "Billy walks all around the yard" Sunday strip idea? For a very odd and only slightly funnier take off on The Family Circus look here.

MSNBC - The living dead will never die

I haven't been to the new Dawn of the Dead movie yet--have to wait for my sister to get back from Arizona first as Heidi won't go see it--but it got an A in Entertainment Weekly and is 78% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes! Here's a good little article on it that I came across on MSNBC. Yeah, I know this is lazy blogging, but life's busy okay?

MSNBC - The living dead will never die

Can't wait to get to that movie!

Salon.com | "Who cares what you think?"

This is a great article that I read in Salon this morning.

Salon.com | "Who cares what you think?": That's what President Bush shot back at me when I told him what I thought of his performance. As November approaches, I have to thank him for pointing me toward exactly the right question.

So the snow made it impossible to get to Iowa City to see Claire today. Not all bad, I guess. I'm running out of things to talk about. Seems like my life isn't as crazy as it used to be--at least not in the ways that I need to talk about it. I don't know. I'm pretty much adjusted to the fact that we're moving and voluntarily turning our lives upside down. But it'll only be for a little while and then the new normal will be established. Kinda like after Anna was born--it just took time to establish a new normal.

Not sure what the hell I'm talking about tonight. Feel like talking to someone but don't really have anyone to talk to tonight. I'm listening to Everything But The Girl tonight on Rhapsody. They're probably best known for that ubiquitous dance hit "Missing" from back in 1995 or so. I love Tracey Thorn's vocals because they're so detached and yet they have a lot of emotion. Is that an oxymoron? Can you be detached and still feel emotion? Hard telling I guess. Whatever the case, I'm enjoying it quite a bit tonight. The CD is Walking Wounded. It reminds me a little bit of the music that I might have been listening to when I first got to Iowa City although that's utterly impossible as it's quite ensconced in electronica without being too techno. But it's mellow and matching my mood well tonight.

I downloaded the new Diana Krall song this morning from iTunes. I only have one free iTune left!! Better get on those Pepsi drinkers at work. Anyway, it's a refreshing change of pace from her last album which was basically Sominex on CD. The new CD is apparently coming out in April, so that's something to look forward to.

Well, it snowed some ungodly amount last night and I'm here to tell you that it oughta be illegal (Barbra Streisand lyric alert!!) to snow at this point in the winter. Normally, I'd be loving it, but this year I really want to get on with spring. This is so weird for me because the warmer weather just makes me want to be ill a lot of the time--summer is just so dang uncomfortable--but this winter has been especially cold and I'm just not all that excited about it. So the car is completely covered in snow and I think it'll be quicker just to walk to work even though we had already packed away all the boots because, well, who knew?

I've been thinking about resubscribing to The New Yorker when I get moved to Ames. I don't know what's brought this about--as if I need any more things to read in my life. And half the time only about a third of the magazine is of any interest. But it never fails, I pick up a copy at Claire's office and start reading some article that I can't possibly hope to finish in the five minutes I have before I have my appointment and there I am, hooked again. Does it matter that there'll be a lot more room in the new house for stuff like old New Yorker magazines to collect? Can I really handle another weekly magazine? (OK, the only other weekly magazine I take is Entertainment Weekly and that's not exactly high literature or anything. It's fun and a great read--but it's not exactly the most challenging thing in the world.) But then I think I'll only be living a scant 6-7 blocks from the Ames Public Library so I could always just run down there, right? Who knows--beings as I'll have my own room in the house for all the stuff that is mine I might just have to resubscribe.

Wendy came down tonight and she watched Anna for a little while as Heidi and I boxed up even more of our life in anticipation of our big move. It's a bit sad to see everything going into boxes, but in a way, it's kind of fun. At least we're moving forward. I still think that it's gonna need something the size of the Titanic to move our stuff, but fortunately for me, Heidi's a master packer having moved so many times in the past. After the boxing of stuff and moving of large stuff to the garage in preparation for either (a) being given the the local Y day-care or (b) going out on large garbage day, we went to the Pizza Ranch and then came back and watched reruns of "The Golden Girls" that we'd taped back before we moved to Washington. It's definitely not okay to admit that I'm a 31 year old man that giggles like an idiot while watching that show, but aren't blogs for raw emotion and writing whatever the hell? So there it is.

I went to my Democratic county convention today in Heidi's stead as she's so disgusted with the whole thing she didn't think she could sit through it. Good thing I did, too, as she would have just been irritated with the whole thing and never stopped thinking about the hundreds of other ways she could be spending her time. We managed to send 3 (of 19) delegates to the state convention for Dean which doesn't change the fact that Kerry will be the nominee but I stood for what I believe in. I'm eager to find out what Dean For America is going to become on March 18--maybe it'll give me reason to be proud of the system again.

Mark Twain said that a true patriot is someone who supports his country all the time and his government only when it deserves it. Truer words never spoken.

It's been a pretty fun night after I slept pretty much all afternoon--I think I was a lot more sleep deprived than even I knew. Too much going to bed late and getting up early, plus the fact that I'm not really as young as I used to be so that can't go on for an indefinite period of time like it used to. I laid down in bed with Anna as she went down for her nap around 1:00 and neither one of us woke up until around 4:30. I felt so much better for it though, even though the day was pretty much a wash. We made brownies and lemon bars tonight (I had this unexplainable craving for lemon bars earlier in the week, so much so that I almost went out and bought a mix the other night.) With that craving satiated and now it's nearly 10PM, I'm not sure what the rest of the night holds.

I did buy the DVD of George Romero's original Dawn of the Dead tonight at Wal-Mart. I'm sure it's been released on Special Edition DVD now so that its release is as close to the opening of the remake as is possible. I'm so eager to see the remake--if it's half as good as its trailer, then it'll be a high class zombie movie. I'm not sure what to make of the running zombies though--the zombies are definitely influenced by the zombies in 28 Days Later but that's not all bad either.

Zombie movies are just too damn much fun.

This is why I love Dolly Parton so much. Only Dolly could record this kind of song: "Evening Shade."

Between the babies born dead, the little kids dying, the daddies that drink or work their fingers to the bone for next to nothing, you never know what you're going to get from Dolly. Obviously, this is one of her older works, and I'm not even sure if she wrote it--(a quick check of www.allmusic.com shows that she did, in fact write it)--but it's just classic Dolly.

And on that same CD is another doozy..."Daddy's Moonshine Still."

Read it and weep--or laugh your ass off. God bless Dolly Parton.

So now I've queued up on Rhapsody the new Rick Astley compilation CD. Talk about major guilty pleasure!! By all rights, I shouldn't be listening to this guy. I almost used my last free iTune to buy a song off of it based on the song sample, but I decided to listen to the whole thing first. "Never Gonna Give You Up" is the song that's playing now which is, of course, the one that was played ad nauseum during the first part of 1988. I can still remember staying up late to watch the world premiere video of "Together Forever." What's sad is that I remember that, and that I remember it fondly!

Today I've been a little bit worried about the house selling. There are so many houses for sale in Washington, and since we only have 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, I'm sure that our house is less attractive than others--especially when bigger houses are going for comparable amounts. It's always hard to tell though because the other ones might be gross inside causing them to sell for less. It's just hard to know. I'll be glad when the whole house selling thing is over with. I know, I know, the house has only been on the market for a few weeks, but it's just nerve-wracking. A part of me is glad that there aren't people traipsing through it every single day of the week, but I wish more people were interested in it. I keep telling myself that it will sell in due time and that we're moving into a better time of the year for selling a house so just chill out. It doesn't help that that seems to be the new thing everybody at work is fixated on. "Did you sell your house yet? Did you sell your house yet?" Geez.

I had a little bit of job-change remorse today because I saw my job posted on the bulletin board at work and also saw the help wanted ad in the paper tonight. That kind of sealed it for me--I really am leaving!! Like there was any doubt. I know that it's all for the best, but I'm just very eager (and anxious) to get moved and get settled into my new job. It'll take a lot of the question marks out of everything. I mean, things are going to be different for a really long time and there's no getting around that. I'm just glad we're not going into fall--although it feels that way a lot. I have a hard time keeping my mood up even though I know that this is a positive change and that my folks won't let me sink. But I just want things to work out so badly--and I want to do it on my own, which I'm sure I will but you know.

Well, better get to bed. It's getting late and I want to read some more of Ender's Game before bed.

Anna's in the other room watching Sleeping Beauty which she just adores. Heidi and I decided that whoever did the voice of Maleficent must have been somehow channeling Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford. Just goes to show you how pervasive Joan really is. :)

There's another bat in the attic. And I have get stuff out of there to get packed. The cats are sitting there just waiting for the door to open so that they can get in there and have at that bat. I'm so sick of bats. I'm so sick of this town. I'm so sick of the whole moving process. I just want to put everything in a transporter and have it just set up in the new house and never have another bat ever come to roost in our house again.

Musical Tastes

This is courtesy of a friend of mine (Brian) who got it from someone else, and couldn't wait to try it myself. The idea is to queue up every MP3 you have in your collection into something like Windows Media Player or Winamp and then randomize the entire list. After you do that, take the first 10 songs in the playlist and that should give you a fairly good idea of what your musical tastes are like. Here's mine (and yeah, I had a buttload of MP3s to load into Winamp.)

1. Justify My Love (Orbit 12" Mix) -- Madonna (from the "Justify My Love" maxi-single)
2. The War Song -- Culture Club
3. My Love Is Your Love (Thunderpuss 2000 Radio Edit) -- Whitney Houston
4. In The Pines -- Dolly Parton (Live from the Heartsongs CD)
5. Son Of A Preacher Man -- Dusty Springfield
6. Nikita -- Elton John
7. As Long As You Love Me -- Backstreet Boys
8. Love At The Pier -- Blondie
9. I Did -- Trisha Yearwood
10. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss -- PM Dawn

Yikes. I'm not sure what's scarier--how eclectic that list is or that the entire running time of all the MP3s in Winamp was upwards of 80 hours.

Which Peanuts Character Are You?

You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Personally, I always thought of myself as more of a Linus, but Heidi says I'm not pithy enough to be Linus.

Found this interesting tidbit in my surfing this morning. Madonna touring again?? And me about to head into abject poverty? It figures. :) I'll probably have to sit this tour out for a lot of reasons, but it's almost always better on DVD anyway.

I'm feeling a little better this morning--not quite as grousy about things. I had a relatively good night's sleep even though it didn't feel like it when I woke up. Anna kicked my side and my head throughout most of the night, so there was that. We had a pretty good time with the Dean people last night--it's always fun to go and sit in an echo chamber for a while when you're feeling crappy. That way you can throw out the oddest conspiracy theories or whatever and have them validated. Not that I'm stupid enough to believe most of them, but it is fun to be amongst like-minded people.

Today I'm listening to a mix of Liz Phair and Sheryl Crow which is really the kind of music I'm after these days. Not really in the mood for my dance remixes and other such stuff that I usually listen to. I'm looking for something that's a little more earthy and less "out-there." I still don't think that a lot of Liz's old stuff is as polished as the stuff on Liz Phair. And that's probably the criticism that was leveled against the album anyway so what the hell do I know? As Heidi says, it's a smoky low female voice so she could be singing about dog poop and I would probably still like it. And I suppose that's true--when you think about it, most of the female artists that I like really are altos. I don't know what it is, I just love that type of style of music and style of singing.

And from Sheryl Crow and Liz Phair I go to a metal cover of "Rhiannon." Man, my tastes are all over the place. Well, not really because I doubt I'll ever listen to this song again!!

Ok, can I just say that I'm officially sick and tired of people acting like I'm either dying of a terminal illness or being the ultimate traitor to society because I chose to change jobs? It's really getting old to go down the hallways at work and have random employees say "There's the traitor!" or "I'm gonna cry every time I see you now!" What am I supposed to do with that? Are these people really that selfish?

And I've had it up to here with my online men's group to which is supposed to be about supporting each other as men but apparently has turned into a place to debate the minutiae of religion and politics. Jesus Christ--I can get that anywhere else. A part of me wants to tell those people to go debate religion on a religion group, but fat lot of good that would do anyway. It just goes to show me that you really can't find good male camaraderie--even on the internet where it's supposed to be easier to get to know people. I basically have no good male camaraderie anymore as all the guys I would normally talk to at work are just not really talking to me because I'm leaving and the non-work friends I have are so damn busy with their own lives. I can't remember the last time I heard from friends on e-mail or over the phone. And it certainly hasn't been for lack of trying. Oh well, maybe this is just something I have to go through on my own and not depend on other people. It wouldn't hurt to have a little support right now and I can't count on Heidi for all of it. I'm hoping that when I get to Ames I can find some male-bonding type stuff, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll ever be able to do that.

I guess I'm just feeling pretty lonely tonight and I suppose it's good we're going to the Taste of China to see some local Dean people. But so much of my life here is like a chapter in a book that's almost over, so it's not worth getting attached to people here just to leave them.

Dang, am I taking my meds or not?

Heidi kinda nailed the whole Bookcrossing thing...it's kind of the adult internet equivalent of releasing helium filled balloons on the last day of school or during Vacation Bible School or whatever with little pieces of paper with your address in them, hoping beyond hope that someone will find them. No one ever found my balloons growing up--so I suppose no one will ever find my books. Or, rather, a janitor will probably find my books and trash them. Oh well, at least I'm doing my part for book karma. But I won't deny there's a part of me that gets a cheap thrill out of wondering where the books I release will go to.

I have to say that ever since Howard Dean dropped out of the Democratic race, I've really lost interest. Kerry is so uninspiring to me as a candidate. MAD TV did a skit on Saturday which was a take-off on "American Idol" only it was "American Political Idol" and a guy playing Kerry was on there with the on-screen descriptor "JOHN KERRY -- Frontrunner and living corpse." And that isn't too far off. I tell you, if I vote for Kerry, it'll be more a vote against Bush than anything else unless he gives me something to feel passionate about. So consequently, I haven't been reading the Daily Kos as much anymore. I feel like I should care more, but I feel like the Democrats screwed up so bad this year by going with a "centrist" (really, Kerry is more liberal than Dean, but Kerry can ostensibly "beat Bush" so whatever.) The DLC will run Kerry as a centrist and we all know how well that worked the last time. Electing Kerry will stop the shenanigans of the Bush administration, but it won't affect any real change. Kerry's as bought and paid for as Bush only by different people.

So much for my political aspirations. Truth be told I never was very comfortable with the whole phone calling thing. Maybe that was just a Washington thing, but I doubt it. I think most Iowans were sick to death of phone calls and campaign literature by the time the caucus rolled around. Guess I better go back to music and pop culture--I'm a lot better at those kinds of things anyway.

I know I haven't updated the blog in forever, but I've been busy!! I'm moving!! We're finally escaping the clutches of Washington and getting ourselves to the (relatively) bigger city of Ames. I'm gonna be working at the hospital there, and I think that it'll be a good change. It's scary and fraught with uncertainties, but I think once we get past the unknown stuff and get moved there it'll start to feel a little better. Not that it feels bad or anything, although I am sad to leave some of the people at the hospital now. It never was the job that had me wanting to leave Washington, even though I have kind of been feeling like I've hit the ceiling at my job--whether that's true or not, I can't tell you, but I'm moving now so that's kind of a moot point.

I've been feeling sort of "depressed" which really isn't the right word but it works in a pinch. I can't seem to focus and am having to work a lot harder to keep from slipping into a depressed state. I've been noticing that I'm withdrawing a lot--not really wanting to talk to anyone and mostly just wanting to disappear into my own world. I suppose that's not all bad as that'll give me time to think about stuff and not be all distracted by other things.

I've been listening to a lot of Liz Phair these days and I have to say that I'm really enjoying her stuff. I think the thing I like about Liz is that she has moxie! Yeah, she's a little bit naughty and singing about hot white cum is not exactly the thing that I'd like to expose Anna to (so consequently she doesn't listen to much Liz Phair.) I've mostly been listening to her latest CD that came out last summer. I think one of my favorites has got to be "Rock Me" where she talks about dating a guy 9 years younger than her--"I wanna play Xbox on your floor/Say hi to your roommate/Who's next door?" and in one of the best self-references in a song I've heard in a while "Your record collection don't exist/You don't even know who Liz Phair is."

Heidi doesn't like Liz much (more accurately, she's alternates between being intrigued and wanting to wash her mouth out with soap) but it's not the first artist that I've liked that she hasn't! :)

And in much safer music news--I just can't get enough of that Norah Jones/Dolly Parton song "Creepin' In." Check it out--it's on Norah Jones' new CD.