Red white and bluegrass

Well, for most everyone else, it's a three day weekend. The weather here in Iowa is going to be hotter than blue blazes but that will be a welcome change from the last few years of rain and 60 degree highs. Although our strategy of walking down the street to watch fireworks has seemed less and less smart since they moved the fireworks just slightly further away, we'll probably still do that as we don't want to fight traffic even if it IS just Ames traffic.

I said it's a three day weekend, but not for me. I work both Saturday and Sunday, but at least I have the 4th off, having worked Memorial Day this year. With the rate I've been blogging these days, it's likely I'll let the 4th go by with no fanfare here at all. To be honest, it's not my favorite holiday. I'm not one for standing out on the sidewalk in 95 degree heat while a parade full of uber-patriotic stuff passes by. There's usually a block party on our street that's pretty fun, but most of the time I don't like forced socialization and would rather do it on my own terms. And naturally, this weekend is going to be colored by Bingley's imminent death from lung cancer. So really, I'm not looking forward to the weekend very much.

I have been listening to the new Dolly Parton album Better Day which is full of positive messages for these not-so-great times (speaking generally, not specifically.) Overall, it's a much better album than Backwoods Barbie, and that album was no slouch either. The problem with it was that it felt so forced in so many places, like Dolly was consciously trying to figure out a way to get back on country radio. She may try to look like a 30 year old, but there's no denying that Dolly's 65 and there's no way that she is going to get played on country radio. This album blends the great success she found on her bluegrass albums with her attempt at a more mainstream country sound.

The combination of that and the upcoming 4th of July made me think of the only Dolly album I have never purchased - For God and Country, Dolly's response to the 9/11 attacks. It was an album full of traditional patriotic songs along with a few Dolly originals. By the time she got around to releasing it in 2003, the flag had been co-opted by the Bush administration and the radical right (although the radical right of that time looks damn tame compared to the radical right of today.) Anyway, I never bought it because it seemed like the soundtrack to the Republican National Convention, which I'm sure was not Dolly's intent. She never publicly speaks about her politics - she prefers to say she's "not political but very patriotic." However, I always assert that you can't have as big of a gay fan base as Dolly does and be too conservative. Anyway, even though I never bought it, I always did kind of like one song on it - "Red, White & Bluegrass."



Of course, there's a lot of things to that the U.S. does that are not things to be proud of, but I sometimes think that on the 4th of July, even someone as jaded as I am can be a little bit proud.

Happy three-day weekend everyone. I hope it's a good one. And buy the Dolly album - it's her best since probably Little Sparrow. When Dolly dies, I'll probably have to call in sick to work.

Where the subconscious meets the conscious

I woke up before 7AM this morning and because it was Saturday, I REALLY wanted to go back to sleep. I knew it wouldn't be hard. Anna's old enough now that she just gets up and watches TV or whatever till we get up. Still, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep so I grabbed my iPod from my bedside table and decided to put something on. Only trouble is, I don't have many playlists that are suited for sleeping. It really doesn't matter - I've gone to sleep with the sound of 90s Eurodance pumping into my ears, but this morning I put on my playlist based on the little known Dolly Parton song "Livin' A Lie" from her film Straight Talk. It plays out like a list of the who's-who-of-90s-female-country (with a couple of exceptions.) You'll have to click on the image to be able to read it.


I kinda like how Genius picked the Almighty Definitive dance mix of Faith Hill's "This Kiss" instead of the original.

One of my favorite things to happen when I listen to music as I sleep is when the songs I'm listening to end up in my dreams. This morning was one of those mornings. Here I was listening to this playlist while I slept in the early morning hours and I had this dream that I was a pharmacist at a nursing home and was walking around with a nurse who was making sure that the residents were all in bed. We went in this large circle through the hallways of the facility and as we came around to the front, a little old lady was escaping out the front door. As she ran away, she was singing Shania Twain's "Any Man Of Mine." The juxtaposition of this little old lady and sexy Shania is still kind of cracking me up.



For the record, I really never got into Shania Twain apart from her hits. I was also put off by her overuse of exclamation marks in song titles. If you doubt me, just look at the track listing for her album Up!

I remember several other songs in various dreams I had this morning - I must not have been sleeping very soundly. The Dolly song "Thought I Couldn't Dance" was in a dream where I was driving a car in Carroll and was driving so fast that the car took off and was flying over bumps in the road. Very strange. The subconscious mind can be a very confusing place.

Medicare Part DD

At break this morning, I realized that not only is today the one and only Dolly Parton's birthday, it's also a bit of a milestone for her. Today, Dolly turns 65 and with that, she is now eligible for Medicare! The jury is out on whether or not the Medicare Part A premiums will be waived, but I have a sneaking suspicion that old Carl Dean has worked a job that has paid Medicare taxes in some capacity, so there you go.

Does Medicare cover plastic surgery? Will Dolly's further attempts to nip, tuck and suck anything saggin', baggin' or draggin' be on the tab of the US taxpayer? My hunch is probably not, but man, I sure got a lot of mileage out of that joke today at work. I did have one of my coworkers tell me that she was "worried about me." Oh well, always keep 'em guessing, that's my motto.

To take it one step further, I got this image of Dolly going down to the Pigeon Forge Walgreens store to try to figure out what Medicare D plan would work for her. Let me tell you, if I were working retail pharmacy and Dolly Parton came into my store, I might have to be resuscitated. Do you think Dolly would mispronounce all the drug names like most people do when she ordered her refills? Do you think she'd refer to them as "subscriptions" or "genetic drugs?" (that actually happened to me in my retail days.) Maybe she doesn't have any prescriptions to worry about? She seems pretty healthy overall, but you just never can tell.

Well, whatever the case, I don't think she's going to be collecting any retirement benefits any time soon as she's still hard at work. She has a new album out this year, although not the often talked about all-dance album that would put a Believe spin on Dolly's career. The clock is ticking, Dolly. She's also headed out on the road again this year and even though I saw her twice in 2008, I'd go again in a heartbeat.

And Medicare Part DD? When she works that joke into her live shows sandwiched in between "momma had one on her and one in her at all times" and "you'd be amazed at how much it costs to look this cheap," remember you saw it here first.

Bless you Dolly, you're an American original. Ever since 9 to 5 and the Dolly: Live in London concert played a zillion times on HBO growing up, I've been hooked. The more cornpone she gets, the more I love her. Here's one of the 13 essential Dolly songs I blogged a few years back.

Dolly-lusional

Fandom is an interesting phenomenon. Even as diehard of a Madonna as I am, I'm still pretty tame compared to some. All you have to do is head over to a message board and you'll see that, despite my ability to talk about nearly any aspect of her career, I am clearly not as obsessed as some of the fans. My friend Kelly once said that you haven't really experienced something until you've dipped into an obsession. While I think that's true, my view on that has softened significantly as I have gotten older. And after watching the documentary For the Love of Dolly tonight, I'm more convinced than ever that fandom is one of those things that can go from charming to downright creepy in 3 seconds or less.

For the Love of Dolly is a 2006 documentary that follows five extremely avid fans of Dolly Parton - and that is putting it mildly. They have gone beyond the usual collecting of her music and movies and interest in her projects. These people live and breathe Dolly. Their homes are filled with Dolly memorabilia. Dolly dolls, posters, records and CDs adorn the walls and shelves. One of the fans sports a tattoo of Dolly's autograph. They've saved the clothes that they were wearing the first time they met Dolly. Dolly has signed a wide variety of items that they proudly display under glass cases. One wanted to drain their backyard swimming pool to have a portrait of Dolly painted on the bottom. They have made it their life mission to follow Dolly. And they gather annually in Pigeon Forge, TN for the Dolly Parade, an event for which Dolly serves as the grand marshal. They long for just an acknowledgment from Dolly and since they have been so persistent, they usually get it which just serves to fuel the obsession.

I'm not quite sure what the intent of this documentary was, but if it was to portray these five fans in a positive light, it missed the mark by about 100 miles. Rather than understanding the reasons for this level of devotion, I found myself saying to myself throughout the 60 minute documentary "These people need help. Professional help."

I get that these people took a great deal of personal inspiration from Dolly. I think Dolly herself would appreciate that. But when someone goes and creates a life-size replica of Dolly's Tennessee Mountain Home cabin in their backyard complete with dolls representing Dolly and her childhood best friend Judy Ogle, I think it's safe to say that things have gone a little overboard. And when you add in the fact that to make this cabin replica, the fan took a piece of wood from the Tennessee Mountain Home cabin at Dollywood and TOOK THE WOOD TO HOME DEPOT TO HAVE IT COLOR MATCHED, you've crossed a line that I can't even come close to. It's one thing to be a fan, it's quite another to let said fandom take over your life.

I thought I had seen everything, but the scene in which two of the fans track down a car owned by Judy Ogle that had been sold back to a dealer really took the cake. They scoured the car for Dolly's hair. They were obsessed with the fact that Dolly had ridden in the passenger's seat. They LICKED the seat belt. Even my 8 year-old recognized the batshit craziness - her comment was "Yuck, Dad! That has DNA on it!"

I really do love Dolly and her music. I have been a fan of hers since I was a kid and was a fan before I even knew that I was a fan. I'm also a fan of a lot of other artists and celebrities. A friend of mine is fond of saying that if you don't have passions, you're a little bit untrustworthy and I mostly agree with that. But these people? I'd be backing away slowly from them. They scared me with their level of devotion. And if I were Dolly, I would be putting out a restraining order on them. But since she's Dolly, she doesn't and she meets them and signs whatever random crap they've brought and accepts their handwritten crazy stalker notes.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm one that likes to keep the objects of my fandom at a comfortable distance. In the end, they are just people like you and me - they just happen to be famous. And I think that if I got too close, the illusion would be shattered and well, I kind of like the illusions I have built up around some of my favorite artists. I have no desire to meet Madonna - she'd likely be bitchy! Don't get me wrong, I understand the devotion but I feel like fans that tip into obsession have really lost sight of reality and end up putting a lot on the celebrity that isn't really there to begin with. What killed me the most was how these folks assumed a personal relationship with Dolly. I suppose if that delusion helps them get through the day, well, more power to them but not being able to see the folly in that is quite dangerous. Somewhere, somehow, the balance was lost.

All I can say is that if I ever tell a potential employer that I need a flexible schedule to be able to follow Dolly Parton around, someone please organize an intervention.

A long long way from Tennessee

In what can only be attributed to early onset dementia - or, more likely, my ever present absent-mindedness - I nearly forgot that today was Dolly Parton's 64th birthday! Yep, she's 64 years old and she doesn't look a day over...well, I don't know that I can answer that question.

I wasn't sure what I would write about, as I already did my favorite Dolly songs last year (those haven't changed much), and posted random videos of her two years ago (and most of those have been removed, damn it.) She's also a frequent subject on this blog, so I was a little worried that there just wasn't anything left to say about Dolly that I hadn't already said.

Don't believe that for a single minute.

For Christmas this year, I got two Dolly related items, the Dolly Live In London CD/DVD and the brand new 4-disc box set Dolly. The live CD and DVD, I'm sorry to report, was completely and utterly bungled. Neither the CD nor the DVD contain the whole concert. Also, as seems to be more and more the case these days, Dolly's vocals have been manipulated such that many of the songs have lost their "live" feel. It also helps nothing that the show was filmed at the 23,000 seat O2 in London and the intimacy that was felt at the two shows I saw is not present at all in the concert footage. A complete misfire and ultimately disappointing as that live show was so good.

The Dolly box set, on the other hand, is very enjoyable. Predictably, I have a lot of the songs already, but the first two discs really have a lot of very early Dolly, including stuff with Porter Wagoner that I would never be inclined to seek out on my own that it is worth the price of admission. Sure, by the time you get to disc three and four, the usual suspects that have been on a million Dolly hits packages start to show up ("Here You Come Again," "9 to 5", "Two Doors Down," etc. etc.), you forgive it because 1) it's Dolly and 2) the rare and unreleased tracks more than make up for it. It's also provides for a fun chronological listen, even though it is far from complete as the last song is from 1993.

My favorite of the unreleased tracks is one called "Eugene Oregon" which came out of the sessions for My Tennessee Mountain Home in 1972. It's classic Dolly and really, that says it all. I'm glad it finally saw the light of day on this box set. You can stream it here for free.

Happy birthday Dolly! And hurry up on that dance record that's supposed to be coming out. If it doesn't contain a remixed version of "Potential New Boyfriend" there will be words.

Don't mess with Texas

I was out raking leaves the other day, and God help me if this song wasn't going through my head. It's not often that one can legitimately claim to having a Dom DeLuise song stuck in their head, but it's true. (and now our own Melvin P. Thorpe singers!)



The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas was probably one of the first R-rated movies that I was allowed to watch as a kid, and it was almost certainly the first that I was allowed to watch that had nudity in it. Oh, I had seen breasts before both on TV (we did have HBO after all) and in print as my dad had a stash of Playboy magazines in the basement that he had confiscated from high school students over the years. (They brought PLAYBOY to school?) But Whorehouse was the first movie with nudity that had the parental seal of approval. Looking back, I probably begged because of the Dolly factor, and my folks more than likely just threw up their hands and caved rather than listen to me go on about how I had to watch a Dolly Parton movie. After all, it's not like it's a hardcore porn or anything!

Dolly has spoken in the past about how hard the filming of Whorehouse was for her. A lot of bickering, constant script rewrites and a revolving door of directors only compounded the physical and emotional problems she was having at the time. However, you'd never know that by watching the movie, which is either a testament to her ability as an actress or her dedication to getting the job done and done right, regardless of what's going on with her personally.

The movie is certainly not great - it's passable musical-comedy - although we watched it like crazy as kids, and not just the "boobs flashing" parts (as Dolly referred to them). Perhaps my favorite part of the whole movie comes after the eventual closure of the Chicken Ranch - the name of the whorehouse of which Dolly's Miss Mona Stangley was madam. The ladies are all packing up and getting ready to move on with their lives when (because this is a musical) they feel the need to spontaneously break out into song. What results is the song "Hard Candy Christmas". The version of the song on the soundtrack was a Dolly solo, omitting the rest of the female voices, and it just doesn't work as well. The death of the Chicken Ranch affected them all, not just Miss Mona who you knew was going to get married to Burt Reynolds anyway.



I'm pretty sure I recorded that song onto a cassette by holding the cassette recorder up to the TV. THAT version of the song probably had my mom talking in the background.

RuPaul actually did a version of "Hard Candy Christmas" for his Ho Ho Ho! album about 10 years ago, but it was eclipsed by the excellence that was his cover of a Dolly Parton holiday original, "With Bells On." (horrible quality recording, but you get what you pay for.)

I had to have this talk with you

Dear Dolly,

This clip from your upcoming CD/DVD combo Dolly Live From London has hit the web today. The video is for the song "Jolene" which has always been one of my favorites. Watching it took me back to the experience of seeing you live not once but twice in 2008.



In this day and age of manipulated live vocals, you can almost say for sure that this has had something done to it, but not very damn much. You sounded pretty much this good at both the shows I saw. And I love the little-bit-crazy-grandma bit that you seem to have adopted to great success. But here's my problem. WHY IS ONLY PART OF THE SHOW BEING RELEASED? I know that 15 songs is generous, but the show was 20+ songs easily. If you're releasing that much, why not go and release the whole thing? Call me crazy, but I was really hoping for your version of "Thank God I'm A Country Girl". Perhaps it's a rights issue, who knows, but I can't shake the tinge of disappointment surrounding this release.

Still, that's a minor bitch, but I had to get it out. You know you've got me for life, and I still hope someone buys it for me for Christmas (hint hint).

Looking better than vinyl has a right to

A lady I work with saw me when she arrived at work today and said "Oh, Dan, I have a surprise for you." Now, we say things like that at work all the time, and usually the surprise is some item of work we have to do that we don't particularly want to do. However, she really DID have a surprise for me.

I walked around the corner and SHE WAS HOLDING THE VINYL OF DOLLY'S Here You Come Again ALBUM!!

I was flabbergasted because it was pretty much the last thing in the world I expected to see today. She said "well, I knew you were a fan and thought if you want it, you can have it." My reaction was quite uncontained and I think one of the newer guys at work saw it out of the corner of his eyes and wondered what the deal was.

Here's some photographic evidence.


It is not one of Dolly's better studio albums - but it is the point where she really crossed over to pop successfully. "Here You Come Again" is one of my favorite of her songs. The other thing that's cool about this album is that on early copies, there is an alternate version of "Two Doors Down" which is more countrified than the pop version that most people know. Later pressings of the album contained the pop version. However, the version of "Two Doors Down" on the vinyl I have has virtually the same run time as the one I have in iTunes, so I imagine I was not so lucky as to have been given one of the first pressings of the album. *sigh* I don't know that I'll EVER hear that version of the song.



Moral of the story: Sometimes, it really pays off to wear your nerdiness on your shirt sleeve.

(Confidential to MK: What part of THAT album cover is not about the breasts?)

Mumbo jumbo jive

On my walk to work this morning, I rather unexpectedly put on the soundtrack from the 1992 Dolly Parton comedy Straight Talk. It is, as romantic comedies go, not the greatest. As Dolly Parton movies go, it is probably at about a 6, with 9 to 5 naturally representing the high end of the scale, and Rhinestone serving as the bottom - seriously, who thought Sly Stallone as a country singer was a good idea?

Although the critics pretty much universally hated it, I am actually very fond of Straight Talk, both the movie and the soundtrack. The basic premise is that Dolly is Shirlee Kenyon, a country girl from Flat River, Arkansas with a loser of a boyfriend (played by Michael Madsen) who has just lost her job as a dance instructor. So she packs her bags and heads to Chicago where, through a series of completely improbable events, she is mistaken for the new radio psychologist at radio station WNDY. Put on the air with no prep, the audience, of course, loves her because she is so down to earth and well, it's DOLLY PARTON giving out advice. The radio station gives her a contract, as long as she agrees to call herself "Dr. Shirlee." Enter James Woods as an investigative reporter who thinks the whole thing smells fishy. In trying to uncover the scam, he falls in love with her.

The movie is nothing if not completely predictable, and Dolly is pretty much playing herself. There are a bunch of good one liners courtesy of Patricia Resnick (who also had a hand in 9 to 5), my favorite being Dolly's declaration that she went to Screw U when asked where she received her medical training. (Check it out in the video below - it's at about the 8 minute mark.)



Some of the one liners in the movie remind me quite a bit of Dolly's stage show, where she at times cracks herself up more than she does the audience, but she's Dolly so we forgive her. Also of note in the movie is Griffin Dunne, playing another neurotically nerdy character, although to me he will always be David Naughton's decaying best friend Jack in An American Werewolf in London.

I remember buying this soundtrack before I ever saw the movie. Comprised entirely of Dolly Parton originals, it was also the first Dolly Parton CD I bought completely on faith. During my first couple years of college I played the Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits cassette tape on my Walkman until it was practically shredded, and had checked out Eagle When She Flies from the library quite frequently. But up till then, I had not really purchased a whole lot of Dolly, especially if it was music I had not heard. I took the leap with the Straight Talk soundtrack; it was VERY much an impulse purchase.

And as impulse purchases go, it has served me quite well. Yes, the songs are, as my friend Caryle might say, pure processed pastuerized cheese product. But, as my sister Wendy would say (and I would heartily agree), cheese is ALWAYS better than crap. You can tell that Dolly set out to write songs that were relevant to the movie, although she did recycle "Light Of A Clear Blue Morning" from one of her 70s albums. The production is very 90s country-pop, but I just can't help but like it. The title song is classic Dolly cornpone, with references to Oprah and Donahue. Frustratingly for me, the video is not embeddable. Watch it here. Another highlight is "Livin' A Lie" which has the most cliched lyrics ever, but once again, it's Dolly so we forgive her.



What I can't get over is how much more natural Dolly looks in this movie. It has to be at least 3 facelifts ago. Of course, the movie is getting close to 20 years old, which just makes me feel as old as Methuselah.

The movie is on DVD, full screen format only sadly, but it is certainly worth a watch. The CD is out of print, but used copies abound on Amazon. Both play like early 90s nostalgia, and sometimes that is just what the doctor ordered.

Harmonizer harmonizer

My admiration and love of Dolly Parton's music is one of those things that is fairly well documented around these parts. I've written many a post on her in the past and I'm sure there will be many more to come. But one of Dolly's most underappreciated talents is her absolutely amazing ability to harmonize with just about anyone. I was listening to a song that she recorded with Sonya Isaacs called "The Angels Rejoiced" tonight and I was once again reminded of her amazing ability to harmonize. She is just a natural at it, effortlessly finding the harmony and, in her own Dolly fashion, making it seem like it is the melody.

There are countless examples of this and while Google searching "The Angels Rejoiced," I came across an Amazon.com Listmania collection of Dolly rarities, including many songs on which Dolly has either dueted or provided backing harmonies. Part one is here, and part two is here - it seems quite exhaustive. Some of my personal favorites are her presence on Rhonda Vincent's "Heartbreaker's Alibi," Mindy Smith's cover of her own "Jolene," and Norah Jones' "Creepin' In."

But perhaps my favorite is her unlikely 90s duet with Culture Club. Called "Your Kisses Are Charity," it simply must be heard to be believed. (yes, it's a lip synced performance, but I'll take what I can get.)



I especially love her vocals from about 2:09 on - the harmonies just give me chills, although now that I think about it, they are not really harmonies, but you get my meaning. There is also a god-awful lot of stomping going on in that live performance!

All this has prompted me to make a playlist of Harmonizer Dolly. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, here is her Dolly-ness with Norah Jones.

We're criminals now

The Pet Shop Boys have a new album coming out this month (abroad anyway.) I am what can be classified as a mild fan of the Boys, as in the new album is on my radar, but it's not one of those hotly anticipated albums that I will be dying to get the instant it is released. Perhaps at some point, but they were just a band that I never really got all that into beyond the hits.

Anyway, there's a new B-side out and it's called "We're All Criminals Now."

I have not actually heard it, but it is cracking me up already. There's a pretty good reason for this.

A bit of background: I am of the opinion there is no life situation, quandary or dilemma that cannot be satisfied with a quote from 9 to 5. Your car starts making a weird sound, cue Dolly saying "Good Lord, get out, let's look at it." I'm looking all over the house for where I set my coffee cup, cue Lily saying "Where is the coffee cup???" A particularly grueling day at work can cause me to say to Heidi, "I need a drink, Roz. I'm taking the rest of the day off." To which she will respond "Attagirl." I have trained her well. She is the most perfect wife EVER.

Anyway, this song (naturally) made me think of the part in 9 to 5 where Dolly, Lily and Jane have stolen what they thought was Mr. Hart's corpse from the hospital, only to find out it's actually the body of some guy who's been the victim of a mob hit. Jane says "We're not criminal, you're a not a criminal. It was an accident. We'll just turn around and take it back." Dolly replies, "Well, we're criminals now!! We've just stolen a corpse from the hospital - that sounds like criminal to me."

That movie is one of the most perfect movies ever. God help anyone who tries to remake it. As Violet herself would say, "I will not be responsible for my actions."

Too much makeup, too much hair

One of my favorite songs of last year has gotten the video treatment. This makes me VERY happy, as so few artists even go to the effort to make videos any longer. The fact that it's Dolly Parton and that it's for the song "Backwoods Barbie" - a song that I consider to be a modern day Dolly classic, a worthy successor to songs such as "Jolene" and "Coat of Many Colors" is icing on the cake.



I love the use of color vs. black & white in this video. And Dolly all dolled up in "a country girl's idea of glam" is great. But I will say, at the risk of inciting the wrath of Dolly-ites everywhere, that her plastic surgery has never been more apparent than it is in this video. That's okay - it works for this video. A part of me recognizes my hypocrisy in chastising Madonna for refusing to grow old with grace and dignity, and giving Dolly a pass on the same thing. But for some reason, with Dolly, it's different. Perhaps it's because you can tell that beneath all that gunk and hair and makeup is a geniune person who is neither needy nor screwed up. At least no more than the rest of us are.

Anna came in and finished watching this video with me. Her comment. "Too much makeup, too much hair. *looking all serious* Dad, that's kinda true."

As I've said before, you can't make this shit up.

A glimpse into my brain

This morning, I made a long overdue visit to UUFA and during the service, someone mentioned the Fuller Brush man (it's Unitarians, believe me, it was relevant to the discussion.) Anyway, because I am me, this is what I thought of: (warning - shirtless Burt Reynolds trying to sing.)



Specifically, the line "I like lots of cash on hand/And dirty jokes about the Fuller Brush man."

It's how you know it's still me, and, as Heidi so frequently says, that I haven't been replaced by a pod person.

Dolly's big 6-3

Happy 63rd birthday to the first lady of country music, the one and only Dolly Parton! It's hard to believe she is 63, and judging from the two times I saw her in concert last year, she is one of the hardest working 63 year olds I can think of! My fascination with Dolly and her music has been there for as long as I can remember, and although she's had some missteps along the way, she is still one of the most thoroughly entertaining performers I can think of. She is, as RuPaul would say, the total package.

So in honor of Dolly's 63rd, I have done up a list, Thursday 13 style, of my 13 favorite Dolly songs. Links to streams (if there are any) and a couple videos thrown in for good measure. As always, in no particular order (except for maybe #1)

1) Potential New Boyfriend (from Burlap & Satin)
If any Dolly song is an untapped gay anthem, it is this one. It is, hands down, my favorite Dolly song not written by Dolly. A great chorus and bridge and a great line in "twisting my ignition key, turned my motor on." Pure camp from beginning to end and I love every second of it. Desperately DESPERATELY needs to be remixed for the clubs.



2) Baby I'm Burnin' (from Heartbreaker)
My favorite disco-Dolly song. First heard this on the Dolly Live in London concert on HBO that I watched over and over again back in 1983 and was probably the source of all this foolishness in the first place. I would pay good money for a copy of that concert now.

3) Tennessee Homesick Blues (from Rhinestone)
This is the song that plays over the opening credits of Rhinestone and is the only watchable part of the entire movie. It also includes the GEM of a line "Daddy you can load the rifles up/We're gonna load them dogs on the pick-up truck/And head up to Calhoun county/And catch us a coon." DEAR GOD.

4) Jolene (from Jolene)
A classic Dolly song that she never seems to get tired of doing. I particularly love her take on it on the Live & Well CD in which the lyrics are changed to "Your smile is like a breath of spring/Your voice is soft like summer rain/And I cannot compete with you/Drag queens."

5) Shattered Image (from All I Can Do/Halos & Horns)
Dolly's response to the tabloids, originally recorded for the All I Can Do album, and rerecorded for Halos & Horns.

6) 9 to 5 (from 9 to5 and Other Odd Jobs)
A very cliched choice, but it's a great song. I still can't get over the genius of rhyming "kitchen" with "ambition." It was probably the first Dolly song I ever heard and is forever linked to the movie of the same name which is in my Top 5 favorite movies of all time.

7) Light of a Clear Blue Morning (from Straight Talk)
There are a couple versions of this song, but the one I like best is the one from the Straight Talk soundtrack. Similar to "Tennessee Homesick Blues", it plays over the opening credits while Dolly's character is driving into Chicago. I can't drive into Chicago without thinking of this song.

8) Romeo (from Slow Dancing With The Moon)
Dolly and her flying buttresses (including a then red-hot Billy Ray Cyrus) make this song reek of 90s country, and I like it in spite of that. A very fun video as well.



9) Two Doors Down (from Here You Come Again)
There is a version out there of "Two Doors Down" that is apparently much more country and much less pop-oriented than the one that is famous, and what I wouldn't give to hear it. It only exists on early vinyl pressings of the Here You Come Again album, so chances are slim that I will ever hear it.

10) Down From Dover (from Little Sparrow)
As I have said before, it's the best baby-born-dead song ever. Rerecorded for Little Sparrow with an extra verse that was omitted from the original, it has heavy Celtic influences and wrings every bit of sorrow out of the music as is humanly possible.

11) Marry Me (from Little Sparrow)
Seriously, Dolly's bluegrass renaissance in the late 90s/early 00s gave us some of the best albums of her career. Her songwriting was top-notch again and some terrific bluegrass covers also resulted from that period. "Marry Me" is probably my favorite Dolly original from that time period.

12) Coat of Many Colors (from Coat Of Many Colors)
You just can't beat a classic, and the story of Dolly's multicolored coat that she wore to school only to have everyone laugh at her is a part of the Dolly legend. Although from the sounds of it, it's all true. Also adapted into a children's book that I read to Anna a lot. What's next, "Down From Dover"? ;)

13) Here You Come Again (from Here You Come Again)
I love this song, through and through. It is 70s country-pop at its finest and although Dolly didn't write it, it has become very strongly associated with her.

Honorable mention goes to Dolly's bluegrass cover of "Stairway To Heaven." Robert Plant actually approved of what she did, but more importantly, it was the song we used to lull baby Anna to sleep back in her infancy. Hey, at least it wasn't "Down From Dover"!

And here's a couple pictures I desperately wanted to fit into the post, but couldn't!

Weekend randomness

1) Jeff came up yesterday afternoon to make use of the tonnage of art supplies that Anna received for Christmas. This allowed Heidi and me to go out on our own and naturally, we went to...the University Book Store. We can't decide if that makes us the coolest or lamest married couple ever, but we are erring on the side of cool. Mostly we walked through the aisles of textbooks and muttered "never again" under our breath! Although I was wishing that I could take the class that required Suburban Nation and Crabgrass Frontier as required reading. Of course, if I took a class in which they were required they would immediately be boring.

But perhaps the most awe-inspiring book we found was this one.

Seriously, I didn't know there was that much to say about lichens of North America!

2) A little later in the evening, we all went out to Carlos O'Kelly's and Jeff related another anecdote from the Madonna book written by her estranged brother. As it turns out, Christopher Ciccone directed a Dolly Parton video ("Peace Train") and there was talk, however brief, of Madonna and Dolly collaborating on an album - as in Dolly sings five of Madonna's songs and Madonna sings five of Dolly's songs. It never happened, but of all the Madonna projects that never came to fruition, that one is probably the one most likely to cause me to wet myself if it ever did materialize.

3) My glasses are crushed. I rolled over onto them as I had left them laying on the floor. Fortunately, I have another pair from one prescription ago so I am not blind, but they are definitely not my most preferred frames.

I am going out to Pearle this afternoon to see if they can magically fix them.

4) We finally watched Iron Man last night. Everyone told us we would love it, and we did enjoy it, but in the final analysis I was underwhelmed. The pacing was all off and the more we talked about it, the more it seemed like a pilot for a television series. All in all, I liked The Incredible Hulk better.

No more 60 dollar rainbows

Once upon a time, just prior to the mp3 revolution, I bought a Dolly Parton CD off of eBay for an absolutely ridiculous amount of money - something like 68 dollars. The CD in question? Rainbow. It was the first album Dolly delivered for CBS/Columbia in what was to be a "one pop album for every country album" deal. One listen to the album and it's easy to realize why the rest of the albums Dolly released while signed to CBS/Columbia were country albums.

But in spite of this, or perhaps because of it, I fell for the album hook, line and sinker in the fall of 1992. The Iowa City Public Library had a copy of it, and I checked it out. It is yet another album forever married to the fall of 1992, even though Rainbow is completely and utterly lost in its 80s pop production. But I still love the album even though not many people outside diehard Dolly fans are aware of it. My favorite song on the album is "Savin' It For You" (stream) which was actually written by the same guy that wrote Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." Heidi and I laugh hysterically at the bridge, especially that hilarious last line:

Let's say hello a special way
Lovers who love and love to play
You have been all that I can think about
There's never a doubt it's you
And you alone that turns me on
Anticipation now is gone
And we're alone
So just get comfy and, oh yeah, unplug the phone

Cheese upon cheese upon cheese. But it's oh-so-good. And the key change in the last verse? Heaven.

Anyway, I noticed on Amazon MP3 the other day that the bottom has just dropped out of the Rainbow market. After years and years of being out of print, it is now available for download. Now everyone can experience the cheesefest that is Rainbow, and not have to pay through the nose for it (at $9.90, it's a bargain!)

I also noticed that there is a vinyl copy of Rainbow for sale there. Hmmmmmmm. Must resist.

The interesting coda to the whole 60 dollar Rainbow experience is that a couple years later, I found Dolly's The Great Pretender CD at Stuff, Etc. in Iowa City. I picked it up for $3.99 and then turned around and sold it on eBay for $98. I really wish it had broken into triple digits, but still, a 2500% return on investment isn't too shabby.

Scully & Mulder workin' 9 to 5

This is the Dan equivalent of "your chocolate is in my peanut butter!" What a fantastic amalgam of two of my very favorite things. Totally worth watching.



(Confidential to my female sibling: Duchovny must have had creative control here as well as he is shirtless within the opening minute!)

Best of 2008: Songs of the year

A lot of year end song lists are starting to trickle in across the blogosphere, and here is mine. My tradition has been (for the last couple of years anyway) to do 80 minutes of the best music of the year. This year, I am not able to do that. So you'll have to settle for 16 songs, 66 minutes. The thing about this list that is the most interesting to me is that it is 50% male artists/50% female artists. That is NOT something I would have expected. As usual, in no particular order.

Dan's Favorite Songs of 2008

1) Dolly Parton / Backwoods Barbie
A solid country song that is, oddly enough, also a Broadway show tune from 9 to 5: The Musical. Written about Doralee, it could just as easily be about Dolly herself. This is the first song of hers in a while that is worthy company to classics like "Coat of Many Colors" and "Jolene." She hit this one out of the park.

2) Goldfrapp / A&E
I am not really into The Seventh Tree and Goldfrapp I can really take of leave (I know. Blasphemy.) But for some reason this song became part of the soundtrack of the year, even though I didn't really realize that it was doing so. I have really nothing more to say about this song than what has already been said much better in other places.

3) Janet Jackson / Rock With U
"Rock With U" sounds like classic Janet - as if it were a refugee from Rhythm Nation or even Janet. She swipes the title from one of her brother's hits and it becomes my favorite Janet Jackson song since "All For You."

4) Shelby Lynne / Just A Little Lovin'
From Shelby Lynne's album of Dusty Springfield covers, it is perhaps the most soft-spoken song on this list. For me, the definitive version of this song is not Dusty Springfield's, but rather Streisand's from the Stoney End album (which I have discussed ad nauseum on this blog) but Shelby Lynne's version is more than capable. The entire album really is top notch - a good winter album, if you know what I mean.

5) Peter Bradley Adams / The Longer I Run
One half of eastmountainsouth, Peter Bradley Adams is very much like a male Alison Krauss to me - some great songs are in there, but a little bit goes a long way. This song is one of the best. Another great autumnal song that I played the hell out of as the year drew to a close.

6) Madonna / Devil Wouldn't Recognize You
Easily the best song on Hard Candy, it was the good stuff that floated to the top of the album almost instantly for me. Just look at how effortless the juxtaposition of Madonna and Justin Timberlake is in this song, especially compared to how he was shoehorned into "4 Minutes" (or was it Madonna that was seemed forced into that song?) Many called it Hard Candy's "Cry Me A River" - but certainly there are worse things. It was also a highlight of the Sticky & Sweet Tour. I can't wait for the DVD so that we can see that as it was meant to be seen once again - the YouTube videos don't do it justice.

7) Coldplay / Viva La Vida
I resisted Coldplay, but I was won over by "Viva La Vida." Even Heidi was! And neither of us ever even saw the Apple commercial in which it was featured. I never thought Coldplay would be in the best-of list of any year, but I guess this just goes to show that there is no telling what will happen.

8) Casey Stratton / Congratulations
Casey released no fewer than six collections of songs this year (two full length albums, two collections of B-sides, a collection of songs from his podcast and an EP) and on them, there were many good songs released. I also felt like there was a lot of filler. However, of the songs that stood out this year, "Congratulations" narrowly beat "You Wanted Out" for a place on this list. The song perfectly encapsulates the direction I so desperately want Casey to go with his music - emotionally open and vulnerable lyrics disguised with a pop sensibility that belies the serious nature of the lyrics.

9) Will Young / Let It Go
With "Let It Go," Will Young recorded the perfect sensitive guy song. It is neither creepy nor maudlin, but rather it is real and reflects a lot of things that many men think but either don't admit or don't allow themselves to feel. Probably my favorite song by a male artist all year.

10) Madonna / Miles Away
The second of two Madonna songs on this list - it is the most classic Madonna sounding song on Hard Candy. It also gave us the year's best remix (A Crowd Electric's version) which was unceremoniously yanked due to Warner having a hissy fit over it's release (even though they released the damn a cappella - what did they expect?) Bittersweet arpeggios and an earworm of a chorus - it would have been a number one hit in 1991.

11) Sam Sparro / Black & Gold
What I love about the Sam Sparro record is that it's a the kind of record that Prince used to make before he became insufferable. I think he will probably be a bit of a one-hit wonder, but it's a pretty good song to have as your only hit.

12) Donna Summer / Stamp Your Feet
This was almost the song of the summer, that's how much I liked it. What I loved most about this song is that it was recorded at all. It would have been so easy for the 60-year-old Summer to comeback as a female Rod Stewart and start doing songs from The Great American Songbook. Instead, it was a solid dance album and this song was probably the best one on there. I just wish the video were even half as good as the song! (I could have done a better job and they spent the entire budget of the video on the camera lens to make Donna Summer look 35.)

13) The Killers / Joy Ride
Another group that I have been resisting, I have really ended up liking Day & Age quite a bit (I was moved to buy it when it was $3.99 on Amazon MP3 a while back.) I'm sure the presence of Stuart Price as a producer had absolutely nothing to do with it. I wasn't a big fan of "Human" but "Joy Ride" is a standout track for me. The intro reminds me of Konk's "Love Attack" from the Bright Lights, Big City soundtrack. I am still not super moved to seek out other Killers material, but this one will do nicely.

14) Darren Hayes / Dress You Up
I swear that Darren Hayes did this in his sleep, but the result was fantastic! A cover of the 80s Madonna classic which was available on Darren's myspace for a limited time, it is both an homage to the original and also injects a bit of Hayes' own sensibilities. What I love most about it is that it incorporates most of the ad libs from The Virgin Tour performance of the song. My favorite cover of the year.

15) Scott Simons / Start of Something
This was my favorite song of the fall. It was in such heavy rotation. It appealed to my own tendency toward introspection and was also catchy as all get out. He has a bit of a Michael W. Smith vibe to him that could potentially become grating, but overall, I think he is an exciting new voice. His cover of "Umbrella" was also something that I discovered this year, but not released this year and was, therefore, not eligible for this list. But you should check out both of these.

16) Ladyhawke / My Delirium
If you take the best parts of Stevie Nicks and Pat Benatar and throw in a dash of Deborah Harry, I think you might have something that approximates Ladyhawke. We have not seen the likes of someone like her in a damn long time. One of the last songs on this list to be discovered, it was a pleasant way to round out the year.

Two Dollys down

For me, concerts always have this dreamlike quality about them. When you're in them, you can hardly believe that you are there, and when you leave the concert hall, the experience almost immediately begins to fade, the memory punctuated mostly by fleeting moments that really stick out. And on my budget (and with the kinds of performers I tend to see), going twice is not only financially impossible but also something that seems incredibly excessive.

So it was with great excitement that I got to see the great Dolly Parton for the second time this year on Wednesday night. Thanks to my folks who I kinda sorta talked into going and who then offered to pay for my ticket so how could I say no? Free concerts = the best kind of concerts.

I was ready for the show to be pretty much the same one that Heidi and I saw in May, since it was part of the same tour. As it turned out, I was pleasantly surprised to find a streamlined show from which much of the fat had been cut. Gone were the self-indulgent sections like "Puppy Love" and the enough-already section with the various band members playing non-Dolly songs from the 50s. Dolly also didn't take an intermission either, which made the show just seem that much tighter. One sad cut (for me) from the show was "Baby I'm Burning" which is perhaps my favorite disco-Dolly song. Oh well, I guess you can't win everything.

New numbers in this permutation of the show were a couple a capella numbers - one being "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind" which she did with the male band members after talking about how she would always sing with her brothers as a child. Following this was a fantastic version of "Little Sparrow" which really showcased Dolly's 62 year old pipes (in a good way.)

Dolly was still telling her 30 year old jokes, mostly about how it takes a lot of money to look this cheap and how she wanted to look like the town tramp growing up. But she is so endearing, you forgive her for her repetition.

Sadly, there was still no "Potential New Boyfriend" or "Straight Talk" in the set list, but you take what you get. And when you see Dolly perform live, you know you are in the presence of a living legend and true American original. That cannot be overstated. Even my dad who is no big Dolly fan said that he enjoyed the concert who mentioned that her enthusiasm for performing is very obvious and she put on a very good show.

The life lesson I am taking away from both the Eric Hutchinson and the Dolly Parton show was that these are people who are following their dreams, and really living. Being able to witness people doing that which they truly love doing is an amazing thing. I think too many of us (myself included) have this tendency to just schlep through life, always hoping for the tomorrow that never comes. As Bernard Black would say, we suffer and slave and expire. These two individuals are living proof that he is not correct.

And Dolly, can you please have someone remix "Potential New Boyfriend"? Pretty please?

(photo via)

Just a Backwoods Barbie

I honestly can't believe that the McCain campaign has not decided to use Dolly's "Backwoods Barbie" for Sarah Palin. But that would, of course, require Dolly to OK the use of her song (or would it?) and I think there is a greater chance of pigs flying out of my butt than that happening. Dolly is very evasive about her political affiliation, claiming that she's not political but "very patriotic." However, I don't think she is fooling anyone and I would daresay that her politics land left of center. She still has my favorite response to the "do you support same sex marriage" question:

And when asked whether she supports same-sex marriage, she jokingly responded, "Hell yes. You people should have to suffer just like the rest of us!"

I'm sure that would not be Palin's response.

I have tried to be quiet on the blog about political things as 1) it usually gets me into trouble and 2) I feel like half the time I go off half-cocked and don't make sense, which leads to #1. But anyone who thinks that Palin is qualified to be the dog catcher, let alone the vice-president of the United States is, as Celine Dion would say, seriously misled. She would be, with not one iota of foreign policy experience (except for the fact that Alaska is close to Russia) second in line for the presidency - the president if something happened to McCain. Hmmm...for whatever reason, that does not make me feel any better about how she might handle the Georgia/Russia crisis. Talk about on the job training.

Ultimately, the choice of Palin speaks very poorly about McCain's judgment, which I think helps the Democrats immensely. But I've seen defeat snatched from the jaws of victory before (see 2000 and 2004) so I will not believe it till I see it. If we vote them into office, we will get exactly what we deserve.

I just hope we're smarter than I think we might be. I thought we were smart in 2004, and we weren't. Let's hope we learned from that experience.

And because I can't end on such a sour note, here's my favorite shot of Dolly from the Backwoods Barbie tour book. I would seriously die if I were walking through the woods and saw Dolly Parton FISHING in that outfit.

(click to make bigger - totally worth it.)