Gently remove your tampon

I met up with my friend Matt last night to go to see I Love You, Man at the dollar theater. It had been quite a while since we had been to see a cheap movie there - I think the last one was Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I Love You, Man was kind of one of those movies that I really wanted to go see, but just couldn't justify paying 8 bucks for when it was playing in the first-run theater.

Many of my friends saw this movie, and it was universally declared that this movie would be right up my alley. Jeff went so far as to say, "Dan, you need to see this movie. It is a movie that was made for guys like us." He was, along with the rest of the people that recommended the movie to me, correct. For those that don't know, the movie's basic plot is probably appropriate for a Tweet, because I'm not sure it would take 140 characters to do it. Paul Rudd is about to get married, finds he has no male friends from which to choose a best man. He tries to find friends, meets Jason Segel, and the unlikely duo become fast friends. Typical romantic comedy insanity ensues.

This movie is very much in the vein of Rudd's previous comedy, Role Models - complete with bawdy jokes, funny physical gags and the kind of irreverent humor that straddles the line between funny and offensive. Unlike in Role Models which I found balanced that line less adeptly, I found pretty much all the humor in I Love You, Man to fall on the funny side. I also found it odd that for basically being a "buddy movie", the relationship between Rudd and Segel hit all the typical romantic comedy plot points like clockwork. This is not a bad thing - it has been years since Hollywood cranked out a really good romantic comedy. What was interesting was how this formula was applied to the platonic relationship between the two male leads. The semi-awkward dance of the first "dates", the giddiness of the new relationship, the faux breakup and eventual reconciliation - all these turning points were present to drive the narrative along.

Not surprisingly, I found this movie not only funny, but also kind of sweet. Rudd's Peter Klaven is a caricature for certain - I don't think anyone is that socially inept at the male code - but I found his earnestness in trying to find a friend charming and a little bit cute. He and Sydney (no less a caricature than Peter) are a bit of an odd couple, but Sydney brute machoness serves as a good foil to Peter's macho-not-so-much. There were times in the movie where the chemistry between the two of them didn't really work for me. I couldn't believe that someone like Peter would want to hang out with someone like Sydney. I think that had Sydney been painted a little less broadly it would have been a little more believable. I say that, but truthfully, as a man, I will say that you never know with whom you are going to bond and that sometimes its the differences that cement the friendship rather than the similarities.

Watching the movie, I obviously connected much more with Peter than I did Sydney, even though there were things that Peter did that were truly cringeworthy. I think I recognized a bit more than a sliver of myself in him, as the not-as-masculine guy who has always had "girl friends" as opposed to the kind of buddyship portrayed in this movie. I am always a bit jealous of those types of friendships, but looking back on my own life, it's not like I had any trouble filling up my wedding party nor do I lack for people in my life right now. Additionally, my own experience tells me that the depiction of the relationship between Peter & Sydney was also unrealistic on a few levels, not the least of which was the speed at which they became such close friends. The thing I've learned about those kinds of friendships is that they are simultaneously born out of an organic reaction that you can't force and then cultivated by hard work. You can't force it, you don't dare force it, and sometimes, it takes years. Granted, that was not going to happen in a 90 minute comedy, but still.

I have written on this blog before and will continue to maintain to my last breath that while wives and girlfriends are undeniably important in our path as men, we cannot and should not underestimate what we have to offer to each other. We need each other, for sometimes we just need to be guys. No matter how hard women work to do that, they are not a substitute and are limited by their experience as women in how much they can relate to our experiences as men. I feel like I Love You, Man, while undeniably a farce, showed the truth that our friendships with each other can be as intense and as necessary as our marriages.

May we all be as fortunate as Peter and Sydney.

The previews at the movie last night have led Matt and me to three more movies to see at the dollar theater: Star Trek, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and Friday the 13th. Check, check, and check.

Neurons firing

Nabbed from Boy Culture:



I usually am hard pressed to watch YouTube videos longer than 90 seconds, but this one had me for the entire 6 minutes. Watching this reminds me of why I have been a Madonna fan for 25 years - just look at the body of work she has behind her. Each image fires off neurons in different sections of my brain all at once. Images from the "La Isla Bonita video" set my 14 year-old brain to memories of standing in P.E. talking to Jeff about the video (and amazed I knew someone else who shared my obsession). Flickering shots of from Sex remind my 20 year-old brain listening to Erotica in solitude. Even Madonna eras I'm not terribly fond of have something positive to give - the "4 Minutes" video will forever be linked to my first time in New York City.

I have taken my fair share of shit over the years for being a Madonna fan, but it is not an experience I would trade for anything in the world. As Matt Rettenmund said in his post - she *is* me, well, sort of. But these images are something that all Madonna fans share. I'm not sure where she's going these days (hell, I'm not sure that even she knows where she's going) but the fans really do share in this body of work.

The past catches up with you

My father sent me this picture this morning. That little tyke is yours truly.


The funny part of this is I have never once seen this picture in my entire life. It makes me wonder where in the world he found it.

Mumbo jumbo jive

On my walk to work this morning, I rather unexpectedly put on the soundtrack from the 1992 Dolly Parton comedy Straight Talk. It is, as romantic comedies go, not the greatest. As Dolly Parton movies go, it is probably at about a 6, with 9 to 5 naturally representing the high end of the scale, and Rhinestone serving as the bottom - seriously, who thought Sly Stallone as a country singer was a good idea?

Although the critics pretty much universally hated it, I am actually very fond of Straight Talk, both the movie and the soundtrack. The basic premise is that Dolly is Shirlee Kenyon, a country girl from Flat River, Arkansas with a loser of a boyfriend (played by Michael Madsen) who has just lost her job as a dance instructor. So she packs her bags and heads to Chicago where, through a series of completely improbable events, she is mistaken for the new radio psychologist at radio station WNDY. Put on the air with no prep, the audience, of course, loves her because she is so down to earth and well, it's DOLLY PARTON giving out advice. The radio station gives her a contract, as long as she agrees to call herself "Dr. Shirlee." Enter James Woods as an investigative reporter who thinks the whole thing smells fishy. In trying to uncover the scam, he falls in love with her.

The movie is nothing if not completely predictable, and Dolly is pretty much playing herself. There are a bunch of good one liners courtesy of Patricia Resnick (who also had a hand in 9 to 5), my favorite being Dolly's declaration that she went to Screw U when asked where she received her medical training. (Check it out in the video below - it's at about the 8 minute mark.)



Some of the one liners in the movie remind me quite a bit of Dolly's stage show, where she at times cracks herself up more than she does the audience, but she's Dolly so we forgive her. Also of note in the movie is Griffin Dunne, playing another neurotically nerdy character, although to me he will always be David Naughton's decaying best friend Jack in An American Werewolf in London.

I remember buying this soundtrack before I ever saw the movie. Comprised entirely of Dolly Parton originals, it was also the first Dolly Parton CD I bought completely on faith. During my first couple years of college I played the Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits cassette tape on my Walkman until it was practically shredded, and had checked out Eagle When She Flies from the library quite frequently. But up till then, I had not really purchased a whole lot of Dolly, especially if it was music I had not heard. I took the leap with the Straight Talk soundtrack; it was VERY much an impulse purchase.

And as impulse purchases go, it has served me quite well. Yes, the songs are, as my friend Caryle might say, pure processed pastuerized cheese product. But, as my sister Wendy would say (and I would heartily agree), cheese is ALWAYS better than crap. You can tell that Dolly set out to write songs that were relevant to the movie, although she did recycle "Light Of A Clear Blue Morning" from one of her 70s albums. The production is very 90s country-pop, but I just can't help but like it. The title song is classic Dolly cornpone, with references to Oprah and Donahue. Frustratingly for me, the video is not embeddable. Watch it here. Another highlight is "Livin' A Lie" which has the most cliched lyrics ever, but once again, it's Dolly so we forgive her.



What I can't get over is how much more natural Dolly looks in this movie. It has to be at least 3 facelifts ago. Of course, the movie is getting close to 20 years old, which just makes me feel as old as Methuselah.

The movie is on DVD, full screen format only sadly, but it is certainly worth a watch. The CD is out of print, but used copies abound on Amazon. Both play like early 90s nostalgia, and sometimes that is just what the doctor ordered.

5 oldies

I was making a new playlist for my iPod the other day and deliberately did not put some of the more frequently played songs on there. With the help of Genius playlist, I managed to get some oldies in there and consequently, I have been listening to some songs that have not gotten play in a damn long time. Since I'm all about embarrassing myself from the standpoint of what trash I'm listening to at the moment, here is a sampling.

1) The Way I Am / Eminem
Not at all into the new Eminem stuff, but I do have a soft spot for just about everything else. A little Eminem goes such a long way for me, but as I have said before, it is probably as melodic as rap is going to get. I find myself extremely conflicted listening to Eminem as the subject matter of pretty much everything he does seems to be contrary to core values I have, but there it is.

2) Fading Like A Flower (Every Time You Leave) / Roxette
I couldn't believe that this was not in my iTunes. I really disliked the song "Joyride", but I really liked this when it came out. When I first met Heidi, Roxette was pretty much the only pop music she listened to (favoring new-age and instrumental music for lack of a better description.) Upon discovering Sunday that this song was not on my computer, you better believe I remedied that in a big hurry!

3) Total Eclipse of the Heart / Nikki French
I remember when this remake came out roughly 1994ish. I was in college and completely opposed to it just on principle. How dare they take a classic 80s song and bastardize it with a techno beat and some no-name singer singing a monotone through the whole song? I resisted it for a terribly long time, but eventually was won over. What was I thinking? This song rules!



4) Spice Up Your Life / Spice Girls
Honestly, there really are better Spice Girls songs out there. "Stop" being one of them (which was played ad nauseum at a pharmacy where I worked in the late 90s). But this one is really hitting the spot. One of two Spice Girls songs on the playlist ("Say You'll Be There") being the other, it has made me think that it was a good thing that they milked the Spice Girls for all they were worth back in the late 90s/early 00s because looking at them now, it's clear their shelf life was limited.



5) Family Man / Fleetwood Mac
My favorite track off of Tango In The Night - this should make Matt happy because of his love of Lindsey Buckingham. But what I really love about this song is the breakdown right around 2:24 with Stevie warbling "am what I am what I am what I am what I am." Why is it not surprising that my favorite part of a Lindsey song would be Stevie's appearance? Anyway, cool guitar playing and an underrated song.

Honorable Mention: Celine Dion / When The Wrong One Loves You Right
An album track from A New Day Has Come, Heidi summed it up best: "Ah Celine, making adultery cool." As Paul said a while back, there are a handful of really good Celine Dion songs and I would submit that this is one of them. Here she is singing it with Destiny's Child.



I may do five more - we'll see.

Sticky & sweet, now with real sugar!

I have managed, for the most part, to eliminate regular pop (that's what we call it here, as opposed to soda or Coke) from my diet over the last several years. It really is nothing more than liquid candy. This switch has been made all the easier thanks to Diet Mountain Dew, which really is nectar from the gods. The Diet Dew dispenser at work is out of order at least 40% of the time. I think it's because we're all addicts.

Anyway, someone at work mentioned Pepsi Throwback and Mountain Dew Throwback to me the other night, singing their praises and how "they taste like Pepsi and Mountain Dew used to taste when they were in glass bottles." Now this I had to try. The idea behind both Pepsi and Mountain Dew Throwback is that they are sweetened with REAL SUGAR vs. the high-fructose corn syrup that has sweetened soft drinks since the mid 80s and has been implicated in obesity and the health problems that come as a result.

You wouldn't think that it would make a difference, but it does. I had a Pepsi Throwback today and it tastes like Pepsi should and also does not result in the "oh my God, I have to brush my teeth NOW" feeling after drinking it. It is no less caloric than the HFCS sweetend variety, but hey, if I'm going to have the calories, it might as well taste better.

I don't envision myself going back to regular pop because of this, but I do believe I'll buy a case of this. It's only going to be on the market till mid June (at least according to Wikipedia) so it might vanish just as quickly as it appeared.

(image via - which has a good FAQ as well)

He who frets loses the night

I got that line stuck in my head at work tonight. I haven't heard that Diana Krall song ("Devil May Care") in an age and thankfully it was on my iPod so that I could listen to it on the way home. That line is also apropos these days as my sleep has been fraught with difficulties of that sort.

The other line I love in that song is "he who is wise never tries to revise what's past and gone."



It's too bad that Diana Krall has such a cold demeanor. I have no idea if she is nice person or not, but she does not seem like it in most interviews. However, she can sure play a mean jazz piano! But, as predicted, her new album is not good at all (apart from the cover of Dionne Warwick's "Walk On By").

For sale

Next weekend, we are having a garage sale - the one at which the MAD magazines are 99.99999% certain to be for sale. I honestly didn't think we would be having it in May, at least not May of 2009. Just a few weeks ago, the stuff was scattered about the basement in nearly complete disarray, some of it still bearing the tags from the last garage sale. When Heidi announced a month or so ago that she wanted to have the garage sale before we left on on our Phoenix/L.A. trip in June, I thought that I would be amazed if it actually happened.

Well, believe it. Because it's going to happen. I have to give it up to Heidi because a lot of it has been her doing. She tagged almost all the clothes and toys and various sundry items. I did a lot of the heavy lifting and cleaning up of yard toys and electronic equipment. I hauled more books than you care to think about. But it really is going to happen next weekend, rain or shine.

There are two types of garage sales. There are the ones at which you set out to make money. These are almost always folly because you just can't make tons when most things are priced below a dollar (although we did make about $500 on our last one.) Then there are the ones designed to move the crap. We are aiming for the last one, but will settle for some crossover.

In the meantime, here's a shot of Bette and Joan getting ready for their garage sale. They are cussing out the early birds who arrived prior to the sale start time. (it always happens!!)

Cool mom

I'm here to tell you that Mother's Day lacks the really REALLY good line that I use year after year for Father's Day. After all, Nathan Grantham doesn't say "It's Mother's Day, Bedelia!!" Mother's Day does, however, have its requisite horror movie, which I have never seen but from the looks of it, appears to be a semi-retread of Texas Chainsaw Massacre in that it has a redneck family and unsuspecting teenagers stumbling onto their property. And how can one forget what is perhaps the most dysfunctional mother-son relationship of all in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho?

But this is post is not about all that. Yes, it is Mother's Day. But I don't want to talk about blood and guts and gore and crossdressing. I'm here to pay tribute to my own mom. A lot of my friends accuse me of having the coolest parents ever. And, well, it's all true. Look, she was even cool back in 1972 when posing for one of our first pictures together! (and looking at that picture, I am reminded that it is the Cullinan side to blame for the curly hair!)

No one ever thinks that their parents are cool when they're growing up. I think that if you don't go through a certain amount of rebellion against those who raised you, you've missed some essential part of development. Mine was certainly more subdued than others, but it still happened. I look back on my teenage years and sometimes I just shudder! But Mom was always there. Even at those times that I was pretty sure I didn't want her there, she was patient and helpful without being overly involved. That's one of the things I realize now, with the benefit of 20 years of hindsight. My mom and dad were always there for us, but they also had a healthy respect for boundaries.

One of my most vivid memories from those days was in 1988 and I had been invited to the prom by not one but two girls. I was a sophomore and both of the girls were juniors. While flattering, the bottom line was that, even at age 15, I really hadn't dated properly and, thanks to a self-esteem that was in the gutter and most likely undiagnosed depression (it was not the buzzword then that it is now), I didn't want to go with either or them. I was going to just ignore both and hope the problem went away, a pattern I still lapse into on my worst days. I was up in my room and my mom came up and gently but firmly that the situation was not going to go away and that other people and their feelings were involved. She gave me the courage that I needed to pull myself up out of my own mire and (yes) self-pity. My brain comes back to that conversation more than you might imagine. I wonder if Mom even remembers it.

Those kinds of life lessons carry forward, even now, at nearly 37 years of age. And my mom continues to be supportive in ways both big and small. They help us so much. They provide free child care frequently. They are going to babysit bad boy Blair while we are on vacation. But perhaps the best recent example was when things got really bad earlier this year and I needed to make a request of them, I knew that even though I was embarrassed to do so, that they would be there for us. And they were.

So here's to you Mom. I love you very much and, well, I guess I'll see you in a few hours!

Icicles in hell, Kylie in the U.S.

I am going to join just about every blogger I know in celebrating the announcement of Kylie Minogue's North American tour! (best headline ever in that link.) Well, if you can call a 6-date run a "tour." Anyway, we can hardly bitch because Kylie has never once during her entire 21 year career seen fit to tour in the U.S. And really, I can't blame her all that much. The U.S. has been very lukewarm to Kylie, "The Locomotion" and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" notwithstanding.

Thankfully, one of the cities on the tour is Chicago. While not next door, it is still a relatively uncomplicated trip (see the Sticky & Sweet Tour.) I e-mailed Heidi with the news and she was instantly on board, also trying to talk our friends Jeff and Caryle into going as well. The show is October 7th, and tickets are "only" $75, which is still fully half of what I spent on my Sticky & Sweet ticket and about what I spent for Dolly Parton. If Heidi, Anna, and I all go, it will be a pricey night, but one that we will not soon forget.

But here's the thing...the venue, the Congress Theater, seats a mere 4000 people. Now, I know that Kylie does not have the draw of say Madonna or U2 or Coldplay, but 4000 seats? One show? I think they are SERIOUSLY underestimating Kylie's ability to sell tickets. There are probably 4000 people within the Chicago city limits that would be interested in those seats, leaving everyone else out of luck. Kylie's appeal within the gay community is tremendous and just because she has not had album sales in the U.S. to match her contemporaries, don't think for a minute that those seats will not sell out instantly. I would like to think they will add more dates, but there really isn't any time built into the tour schedule for that. My worry is that the seats will sell out during the weeklong presale for fan club members and American Express cardholders. Anyone out there have AmEx and willing to give me their number? I promise to pay you back!

I am going to try to go - who knows, it might be another 21 years before she heads back to the States. I want to at least give it a good, honest effort to make it to see her live for she is another of those artists on my short list of people to see live. I just never thought it would happen in the U.S.

Kylie puts on a hell of a show. Yes, she is kind of Madonna-lite, much to the dismay of some bloggers, but I daresay her KylieX2008 tour was at least as entertaining as Sticky & Sweet, and maybe just a little bit more because of Kylie's stubborn refusal to disavow her old songs, unlike Madonna who can't run away from some of her most crowd pleasing hits fast enough.

And as proof of this point, here's the closing number of KylieX2008 - her very first hit "I Should Be So Lucky."



I am always amazed at how little she is.

We should be so lucky. Wish us luck. We will need it.

Mad magazines coming out my ears

For the last 25 years, I have been lugging around boxes full of old MAD magazines that I collected as a kid. They run roughly from 1981-1986, but that is a damn lot of MAD magazines. MAD was such an essential part of my formative years that I have never been able to part with them. Consequently, they have stayed in the basement in boxes, barely ever looked at, but still there just in case.

About ten years ago, a CD-ROM set containing every issue of MAD was released. I bought it, but it is very cumbersome to use because you are constantly switching discs. Recently, that has been updated to every issue of MAD on one DVD, which I wouldn't mind buying but it seems like I am buying something twice, which Suze Orman will tell you is wasting money.

So I've put up a poll for those interested in helping me figure out what to do with thes albatrosses. It's at the top of the page and I would appreciate any input from the peanut gallery. There are three options, but anything else, you can put in the comments or e-mail me privately. I am having a hard time getting rid of them, but a part of me thinks that if I put them on the garage sale we're having in a few weeks, they might sell like hotcakes. Then I could put the money toward purchasing the DVD.

(that Yoda one is NOT - despite what I thought earlier - one of the many that I'm pondering junking, I started collecting with MAD #223 with J.R. Ewing on the cover.)

Edited summer

As a result of the residual effects of the daddy-daughter dance, I bought Donna Summer's "Last Dance" on iTunes last night. Now don't misunderstand me, it's not as if I didn't already have that song in my iTunes. But the version I had was the one from Endless Summer, the umpteenth collection of Donna Summer's work from the 70s through the early 90s. It contains a horrendously edited version of "Last Dance", whittling it down to a meager 3:22. When I was listening to it after thinking about it the other night, it just seemed so, well...short.

So the version I bought was the 12" version, which clocks in at a 8:11. I lingered over the 4:58 edit from On The Radio, but I thought that since they were both 99 cents, I was getting nearly twice as much "Last Dance" for the same amount of money going for the 12" version.

I have not been disappointed. Upon listening to it, I realized that the edit completely excised what is basically the bridge. It was as if it were lying dormant in my brain, because the instant I heard it, I realized just how crucial it is.

I can't be sure that you're the one for me
But all that I ask
Is that you dance with me, dance with me, dance with me.

The 12" version also works in 3 different key changes and at about the midpoint goes back to the slow opening. Now THAT is how the song is supposed to sound.

Really, if you get right down to it, the edits that go on most best-of collections are pretty bad. I realize that best-ofs are catering to a completely different type of music fan than studio albums are, but they just always sound so bad to me. GHV2 remains the only Madonna album I have not purchased, mostly because it is the single laziest Madonna release ever (no new songs) but the edits on there are particularly heinous. I can make my own version of GHV2 very well, thankyouverymuch. And it will be better than the one officially released by the label.

Those big mammoth disco epics of the 70s were meant to be experienced in their original form, not in a bite sized piece. And you just won't find those on the best-of sets.

Just dance

I just got back from what is probably the second best time I have ever had dancing - the best time being a tie between my wedding (which involved me drinking an entire bottle of wine and famously DJing my own wedding dance) and our trip to the Garden for Heidi's birthday (one of my most favorite posts on this blog if I may be so bold and conceited).

Tonight was the Daddy-Daughter dance at Anna's school. Attending it required some creative scheduling at work, but it was totally worth it. I knew that it would be, but I had no idea that I would have as much fun as we did. Put on by the Meeker PTO which is trying to raise money for new playground equipment, it was well organized, well attended and a total blast, even if it did take its name from that gag-o-rific "Butterfly Kisses" song. Held in the gym at Anna's elementary school, it brought back memories of school dances I attended 20 years ago. The girls were dressed to the nines and most of the dads were all dressed pretty spiffily too. I wore a tie for the first time in forever as well as my cool New York suit coat.

We got there just after it started, and already the gym was full of dads and their daughters. At first, I was a little self conscious, as I normally am when we go anywhere to dance. I'm one of those guys that secretly (or not so secretly) just loves to dance, but has a hard time breaking through my initial layer of inhibitions. Usually, there's a little bit of alcohol involved in getting past them, but that was obviously not an option tonight. Ultimately, I decided it was just like the beach or the pool. I always think I am going to be the worst looking, most out-of-shape person there. I am always wrong, and really, no one is looking so you might as well just have fun.

And have fun we did. We danced to all sorts of stuff. They mixed it up quite nicely so that there was something for the kids ("High School Musical" was pretty prominent) as well as the oldsters like me, with some Cyndi Lauper and other 80s night staples thrown in for good measure. They played some surprises - Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" and even a bit of Lady Gaga which has never sounded as good as it did tonight. It sounded so good, I actually downloaded "Just Dance" tonight after months and months of resisting it. Perhaps the oddest song played all night was "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss, which Anna knows from Guitar Hero. When I hear it, all I can think of is Role Models - rock and roll all night and part of every day.

Anna was hilarious tonight. She declared to me as we walked in the door "I put on extra deodorant, just in case." It was a good thing because the gym was kind of stinky by the end of the night. She was never quite able to decide if she wanted to be with me or with her friends. When we were dancing, it was hard to convince her that every song was not a chance for her to do a solo interpretive dance. But who am I to discourage? I just enjoyed being with her.

One of the most interesting aspects of the night was the wide array of fathers at the dance. We were all along the spectrum when it came to comfort level with being dancing fools. While I was probably somewhere in the high 70s/low 80s on the dancing fool scale (100 being the highest), there were some guys that cut the rug even more than me. Many were very stoic and did not really dance, which kind of begged the question why they were there at all. In the end, it was all about Anna, who just had a fantastic time, even though her shoes hurt her feet and her necklace, bracelet and scarf were in my pocket within the first hour.

When "Butterfly Kisses" was inevitably played at about the half way point, we had been having such a good time that I barely noticed. We danced around the floor a little bit, but what struck me is how little of a "Butterfly Kisses" relationship Anna and I have. Oh, sure we do in some respects - much of that is just what being the father to a daughter is. But our relationship is so much more than just the sappy stuff. It's about listening to the Guitar Hero playlist on my iPod (even though I was caught off guard for the "Dad, what does 'talk dirty to me' mean?" question). It is about watching Meerkat Manor on the Netflix box and playing the Titanic song as a piano duet. In fact, during the song, while most of the dads were doing the slow dance with their daughters, mine was off being the free spirit that she is, occasionally bouncing back to me to do a spin or a twirl. Hopefully, the way that I am parenting her is fostering that free spirit rather than squashing it.

For all the greatness that was the dance, I will say they totally blew the last song. It was Etta James' "At Last." If it had been me in charge of the music, it totally would have been Donna Summer's "Last Dance." Not to mention there would have been at least one Madonna song. There are some that are appropriate for kids! It is not a dance without either "Vogue" or "Into The Groove."

What a great night. On the way home, we couldn't stop talking about how much fun we had. It makes the coming weekend of work just that much more palatable. Because no matter what tomorrow deals me, tonight I am happy.

Here's some pictures of us before we left for the dance.

The truth has come down now

This morning while I was getting ready for work, I heard Fleetwood Mac's "I Don't Want To Know." I thought to myself, "I should really write about this song" as it has always been a Fleetwood Mac favorite of mine. I kind of forgot about it until I heard it again at work this morning, on the radio no less, and I figured "this must be a sign." So here I am.

As much as I really do love "I Don't Want To Know", as Fleetwood Mac songs go, it is definitely the bastard at the family reunion. It is impossible to talk about "I Don't Want To Know" without talking about the song that it replaced on Rumours, fan-favorite, Stevie-favorite and Lindsey kiss-off song "Silver Springs." Stevie tells the story best, you can read it over here. The basic gist of the story is that "Silver Springs" was all set to be on Rumours, but then it was dumped at the 11th hour for "I Don't Want To Know." Stevie was devastated, "I Don't Want To Know" went on the record and "Silver Springs" was relegated to B-side status (of "Go Your Own Way" which is the Stevie kiss-off song. Talk about adding insult to injury.)

Since then, "I Don't Want To Know" has been persona non grata. To my knowledge, it has never been performed live. It was not a single and has not appeared on any Fleetwood Mac compilations, not even The Chain box set, but "Hold Me" wasn't on that one either, which is an even more unbelievable omission. Well, I am going on record here and now as saying that I prefer "I Don't Want To Know" to "Silver Springs." And not by a razor-thin margin either. By a lot.

It's not that I dislike "Silver Springs" - far from it. It is certainly one of Stevie's best realized songs as a songwriter. It is lyrically and musically strong. The imagery is vivid. The vocals are solid. I can understand why she wanted it on the album. I tend to think that Mick's "it's too long" reason is bullshit - it's only 4 minutes something, but I suppose that vinyl might have had more significant time limitations. I just prefer the fun of "I Don't Want To Know" over the why-so-serious of "Silver Springs." I have always said that if I were in a band, "I Don't Want To Know" is the Fleetwood Mac song I would cover. If I ever learn how to play guitar, I want to learn how to play this song.

Stevie is on record as saying that it was just a fun guitar song she wrote, and honestly, she's right, but what's wrong with that? I just can't help but love it. It's one of those songs that she wrote that was perfect for Fleetwood Mac if for no other reason than the tight harmonies. I just could not imagine this song on one of her solo albums. It is also one of her more "down to earth" songs in that it is not all mysterious and witchy and what-the-hell-is-she-singing-about? Also, it just simply makes me feel good when I hear it. There is a lot of raw emotion in "Silver Springs" but "I Don't Want To Know" is a little subtler, adding a spoonful of sugar to the nastiness that was Stevie & Lindsey's relationship back then.

So even though I really do prefer "I Don't Want To Know", I'm willing to let the songs coexist. I am, however, absolutely militant in my opposition to attempts to shoehorn "Silver Springs" on to Rumours re-issues, as if it were part of the original album. Put it on a bonus disc, record it live a zillion times, but DO NOT try to alter a classic album. Period. Really, I'm kind of opposed to all those "expanded editions" of albums anyway, especially when they are blatant cash grabs. I didn't buy the Fleetwood Mac re-isssues in 2005, but apparently Rumours is getting the deluxe treatment this year, so we'll see if they do anything with "I Don't Want To Know."

That song will always be special to me, even though Stevie will likely never ever sing it.

Meanwhile, I found this picture that I have never seen before. I think it is Mirage era (based upon the look Stevie has going) but it's hard to tell.

Anna on the piano

I posted this on Facebook, so for those of you who are duplicated here (i.e. most of you), please forgive the duplication. I just want to be a proud dad in more than one place.

Anna had her first piano recital today. My father confided in me a couple years ago that of all the things we did as kids, piano recitals were the things he just couldn't handle. And really, who can blame him? 36 kids of varying piano playing ability playing "Snug As a Bug in a Rug" (thank you Eddie Izzard) or "Theme from Young & The Restless"? Torture. I couldn't have done it. But as usual, having a kid in it made it all better. We even played a duet.



It was a tight 45 minutes, so really, it wasn't all that bad.

I should have done my Celine Dion impression. Or worn the Heart of the Ocean. Actually, it's probably best I didn't.

Oink

I was doing dishes earlier today, looking pensive and Heidi said to me "What are you thinking about?" to which I answered, "Well, if you want to know the truth...swine flu." Bet she didn't see THAT coming.

I've been reading a lot about the outbreak of swine flu that seems to have started in Mexico City and has so far spread to 5 different states in the U.S., confirmed in 3 countries and suspected in up to 6 more. When I first started hearing rumblings of it a couple of days ago, it was hard not to jump to the worst case scenario. For those of you that don't know, the worst case scenario is The Stand in which a superflu wipes out pretty much the entire population of the world. But since we all know that's just a story, and I've actually had a couple people ask me what I think of this from a health care professional standpoint, I thought what the hell, even though I am not super-qualified to speak on it. After all, I'm neither a virologist or an epidemiologist.

The simple fact of the matter is that, despite what the government and the news media are telling you, no one knows what's going to happen. Right now, things are not pointing toward widespread mortality from this particular strain of swine flu. There could be significant morbidity, but that is something we're just going to have to wait and see on. It doesn't seem to have a high mortality rate - only 20 confirmed deaths in over 1400 cases - and everyone in the U.S. that has tested positive for the virus has recovered or is recovering. So that's good.

What's not so good is that I really do think that this is going to be a pandemic influenza. That does not mean that it's going to be Captain Tripps and it's the end of civilization as we know it. We've had flu pandemics before and the last one was the Hong Kong flu 41 years ago which was not particularly lethal (at least not compared to 1918-1919) but they do happen. It's also true that we are well overdue for an influenza pandemic. There's been some speculation as to how much immunity the flu vaccine from last fall will provide, which is likely none as this combination of existing pig, bird and human influenza viruses is novel.

The part that bothers me the most about this is how the media is treating this, which I would say is borderline negligent in its attempts to whip up mass hysteria. All mainstream media outlets are guilty of this, but two that I frequent are especially bad. The Drudge Report has multiple scary headlines as links, and the Huffington Post (which really, in my mind IS the liberal version of the Drudge Report and because of that is annoying me more with each passing day) has equally scary headlines in 48-point red font. This helps in no way or form and the only reason they're doing it is because it makes good copy and for our mainstream media, news and entertainment are completely indistinguishable from one another so why should they bother trying to differentiate now.

I think the real story lies somewhere between the OMG-scary-might-as-well-jump-off-a-bridge-now attitude of the news outlets and a minimalist "oh, it's no big deal." Yes, this is a big deal. No, it's likely not the end of the world (although I can't wait for some religious wacko to try to blame the swine flu on gay marriage. You watch. It'll happen.) But we're likely to see quite a few people get sick.

So we don't know what's going to happen with this, and ultimately, we can't control it. Worrying is just wasted energy.

In the meantime, here's the Google Map tracking cases of swine flu. And if you want to read a great book on the 1918-1919 Spanish influenza pandemic, here's the link, although now might not be the best time to start reading it!

RIP Bea

I found out that Bea Arthur died today at the age of 86 after watching that episode of The Golden Girls called "The Impotence of Being Ernest." I don't care much for the main storyline of that episode (Rose dates a guy who is impotent) but the secondary storyline featuring Sophia carrying out an 80s Sicilian vendetta is that show at its finest.

Blanche: (picking up the phone) Sophia, it's for you. He says his name is Tony the Hook.
Sophia: Tell him I'll call him back. (looks incredulous) What? He's my butcher. Yeah, that's right...my butcher.

As my friend Matt says, no one could deliver a punchline like Bea Arthur. I would add to that sentiment by saying that Arthur frequently said more with a look than many comedians can with an entire monologue.

She will be missed, but thank God the reruns of The Golden Girls will continue until the end of time.

In living color

This was Madonna's artist photo on last.fm the other day. It is usually the Ray of Light album cover, so this was a pleasant change.

I think, when it comes to iconic Madonna photos, this one has to be in the top five. It is oddly jarring seeing it in color as opposed to the sepia tones of the album cover. It's like we woke up in Munchkinland!

While I don't think that this is just an amateurish colorization of the Like A Virgin album cover, it would also not surprise me if that's what it turned out to be.

Yet another NOM parody

And this is perhaps my favorite one yet. Those who know me know that if a YouTube video is longer than 2 minutes, I'm not liable to watch it. I watched this one. It uses the original NOM ad, but mixes in...well, just watch.



My favorite part: "Should I lose some weight?" (2:22)

But all in all, I enjoy the message at the end of the video, which shows how we will never be able to fight those opposed to equality with anything but love. I would be wise to remember that so that when victory eventually does come, the victory is not of the Pyrrhic nature.

We don't buy music like this anymore

There are times that I really, really miss the way that late night TV used to be. Usually, it happens on the weekends when I wish I could be watching some cheesy teenage hornball comedy on USA's Up All Night or surfing between MTV, Night Tracks and Friday Night Videos (only to find that each is playing Cinderella's "Nobody's Fool"). Ever since infomercials took over in the late 90s, late night TV has just never been the same.

But really, there's something more specific that I was longing for today: The CD compilation commerical. I used to absolutely love those ads for CD sets that collected "the best music of the 70s" or "the most romantic ballads" or whatever type of music they were hawking. Always available only through this special TV offer, I found myself pretty much hypnotized by them, unable to change the channel even though I had seen them over and over again. Even better were the 30 minute ones that sometimes aired on Sunday mornings.

They were a dime a dozen throughout the 80s and 90s. I spent a good chunk of time earlier this evening watching them on YouTube. I've gathered some of the best (and the one I hated with a passion) for this quick Saturday evening post.

Everyone probably remembers Freedom Rock.



And this one that collected the best of 90s music--in 1995. It seems a bit premature to me, although I will admit that it made me listen to both "I Touch Myself" and "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"



And this one helps you to "feel the love."



What I remember about these most is that they taught me snippets of all these songs, such that when I actually heard the songs on the radio or wherever I might happen to hear them, I expected the next song snippet to follow directly after hearing the part on the song featured in the commercial.

The advent of digital music has rendered these types of collections pretty much obsolete, but I do look back on these ads quite fondly. Except for this one which drove me up the fucking wall. I don't mind most of the songs that are featured in the commercial, but the dweeby guy trying to be all Tom Cruise made me insane - especially the "China Grove" part.



I figure that guy is probably something like 35 and he just looks pathetic (and I'm 36 so I can say that). I'm sure that copyright probably prevented them from using "Old Time Rock & Roll." I'm also pretty sure that has Mary breathing a sigh of relief.

There are so many of these on YouTube, if I posted all of them, all I would do is annoy people. But here's one more, just because she's holding a big old vinyl record at the beginning.

Walking the walk

We have a Hobby Lobby here in Ames and we shop there every now and again, mostly for seasonal stuff or whenever we get an idea that we want to add a bit of decoration to a room. But I always feel a little bit weird whenever I walk in there, for it always smacks a little bit of religious fundamentalism. There is no mistaking that the Christian faith is very important to them. My experience has taught me that people (or businesses or whatever) that go around declaring how religious they are usually end up having life practices that are the most incongruous with that professed faith. So when I shop there, I always am a bit skeptical.

But yesterday, they showed they not only talk the talk, they walk the walk. They had a good year, and what did they do? They passed it on to the workers by increasing their minimum wage to $10 an hour for all employees, and those already making that got raises as well. According to a spokesperson, the company "had a profitable year and wanted to pass it onto the employees" because "it was the right thing to do."

Now that, folks, is living your Christian values.

Her laughter burns you up inside

A golden oldie came on my iPod on the way home from work tonight. It was none other than Madonna's "Who's That Girl" which gets quite a bit more play from me 22 years out than you might think. It's always been one of those Madonna songs that everyone forgets about. Banished from The Immaculate Collection (both the CD and the DVD) and only performed live on one tour, it seems like it's a song that Madonna would prefer to leave behind.

I suppose we can't really blame her. It, like most of the Madonna songs on the Who's That Girl soundtrack, is likely just a reworked cast-off from the True Blue sessions. I remember when the song premiered and how shockingly similar to "La Isla Bonita" it was, especially considering "LIB" was the single immediately preceded "Who's That Girl." Melody-wise, it's quite different, but it retains the Latin elements and slow pop groove of its predecessor. If Madonna really wants to include a Latin section in the next tour, I would implore her to consider "Who's That Girl" rather than trotting out "La Isla Bonita" for the 69,000th time.

Although it is mostly forgotten, even amongst fans, I would argue that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to "Who's That Girl." As a friend of mine from the Madonna listserv said, it is Madonna fluff to be certain, but for fluff, it is quite brilliant. What I love most about this song is how strong it is structurally. Sure the lyrics are lightweight and the production very 80s, but when it comes right down to it, it's a solid pop song. It also contains what is arguably the best Madonna bridge of the 80s ("Light up my my life/So blind I can't see...") Madonna's best songs have strong bridges and this is no exception.

It hit #1 on the Billboard charts, but I'd be curious to know how strong of a #1 hit it was. Surely it was a stronger #1 than say something like "This Used To Be My Playground" but it is still a bit of a featherweight when it comes to Madonna singles.

All that to say about "Who's That Girl" and truly, it's not even the best Madonna song on the soundtrack. That honor goes to "Can't Stop" which is definitely in my top 10 favorite Madonna album tracks. It may scream "they kicked me off of True Blue!" but the bridge on THAT song is to die for as well.

Balance

I wrote a good-sized post over on Heidi's and my other blog tonight and as I was trying to figure out how to embed a video into a Wordpress blog post, the entire fucking thing vanished into the ether. I swear I saved a draft before I navigated away from the page! I can probably recreate it in some form or another, but that event pretty much sealed the deal for me that I will never move this blog to Wordpress.

Not really related to that, but I imagine it could follow from that, I have been wanting to blog but have found that I have really lacked the will to do it recently. I know it's something that every blogger goes through, for regardless of the number of readers and/or commenters, blogging is essentially a solitary activity. I'm cool with that - I love having complete creative control and not really answering to anyone other than myself.

But that also means that I have to come up with everything I write about and, I'll admit, I have been having a difficult time with the balance on the blog recently. By that, I mean that I feel like the music and picture posts are too frivolous and not really matching my overall mood all that well. Posting things like that doesn't seem like I am being very true to myself (at least the current version). Big long posts that try to articulate thoughts I'm having end up either seeming like too much information or are just not all that interesting. Posting heavy stuff all the time upsets the balance that I strive for on this blog.

It's much like the best relationships I have, which tend to be a delicate balance of the serious and the not-so-much. Too much of either one ultimately annoys me. But fortunately we have Le Chatelier's principle: If a chemical system at equilibrium experiences a change in concentration, temperature, volume, or total pressure, then the equilibrium shifts to counteract the imposed change. Even though it's supposed to apply only to chemistry, it also applies to relationships and blogging and life in general. Oddly enough, most of the fundamentals of thermodynamics also do. There was a guy I knew in college who I always said was a living example of Le Chatelier's principle as his natural equilibrium was depressed and moody and he had an uncanny knack for turning any good things that happened to him into bad, thus restoring his equilibrium.

And since this got a bit heavier than I originally wanted, here's my attempt at balance. It's the only Meat Loaf song I really like, and it's because it's perfectly balanced out by Cher.



(actually, I kind of like that "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" song as well, but really, it's just the "hose me down with holy water" part that I like.)

Easter then and now

We had our picture taken today after the Easter service. I figured that since we are Unitarians, it would be just like any other Sunday, and in a way, it was. But it also wasn't. We are also VERY good looking!

In 2005, we had a similar picture taken in our front yard. We were good Lutherans then. Here's that picture, just for the nuts of it.

I cannot believe how much longer my hair is, and honestly the last time I wore a tie was to my grandmother's funeral last summer (not counting my turn as Doctor Who at Halloween.)

We've come a long way in 4 years. It'll be interesting to see where we are 4 years from now.

Easter - if it were a horror film

We went down to Ankeny today to my friend Jeff's sister's house for an Easter egg hunt. Anna had a great time, and Jeff surprised all the kids by dressing up as the Easter Bunny. Anyway, I snapped photographic evidence of his arrival.


Looking at it now, it is like I captured the moment just before everyone at the Easter egg hunt was murdered by the evil Easter Bunny. I think that Easter is the only holiday that does not have a companion slasher movie. Instead, we have to settle for Night of the Lepus, which I have never seen and after watching this trailer, I think I must Netflix it immediately.



And here's a clip from the movie. To quote The Vicar Of Dibley, it looks like a "production of bloody Watership Down!" Emphasis on the bloody part.

I can run but I can't hide

There is NOTHING less cool than admitting to liking a Celine Dion song. Yes, the woman can sing, but I think that most guys would rather put rusty nails into their eyes than admit to having any kind of fondness for anything that French-Canadian chanteuse produces.

Well, I'm not most guys.

I love this song and I am not ashamed to admit it! (OK, maybe just a little bit.) It is from Celine Dion's last album Taking Chances so it's a couple years old now and it is called "Shadow of Love."



I can't figure out what it is about the song that I like. I think part of it is the chorus which just has a great hook. It's very high on the melodrama and it's also a bit unexpected from Celine Dion in that it is not a ballad. It is also uncharacteristic for Celine Dion in that it kind of crept up on me rather than hitting me over the head with a hammer. I listened to it a few times, then put it away for a year, and then it resurfaced and I am listening to it like it's the biggest hit ever.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a huge closet Celine Dion fan. Although I don't really harbor her any ill will, so much of her music is so same-y that I feel like a little bit goes a long way. But really, who else has done Meatloaf better than Mr. Loaf himself? ("It's All Coming Back To Me Now") And everybody says that they hate "My Heart Will Go On" but come on, you know you love it.

And then there's this. It defies description.

Hyperbole

Things have been quiet around here over the last few days - on the blog at least, but not in real life. There's a really good reason for this - actually two, but they are related. We are working our tails off with One Iowa to make sure that a repeat of Prop 8 does not happen here in my home state. Also, I have hesitated posting here because this fight is very all-consuming right now and I don't want to fill this blog with daily posts re: marriage equality. That's why Heidi and I created this blog, which is where we're putting all of our activism for right now.

I posted this over there, but I simply must put it here. In reading through the news links this morning regarding marriage equality in Iowa, I found this. It is definitely in the running for the most blatant hyperbole I have seen yet on the issue. While I will give him props for mentioning how much marriage has been "attacked and dishonored" by heterosexuals (something sorely missing from most of the virulent anti-equality folks here in Iowa), the basic point is that his only argument against gays getting married is some moral imperative from an imaginary friend that I don't believe in.

Bottom line here is their only arguments are religious, and newsflash! - not everyone shares their religious views, and as such, the whole population of Iowa should not be subjected to their religious views being written into law. Conversely, the arguments for marriage equality are based on the rule of law and the Constitution of the state of Iowa, which was modeled after that of the United States, something that all of us as citizens should rally around.

Add that to the fact that the Republican caucus in the Iowa House yesterday simply redefined obstructionism by insisting that we not vote on the state budget but instead, vote on the marriage amendment. Fortunately, the Democratic majority stood strong, but they will be vulnerable next election cycle, especially with out-of-state money coming in for the opposition.

We have not yet begun to fight, but I will be there fighting every step of the way. Marriage equality is just the right thing to do and I'm proud to be on the right side of the issue.

In the meantime, ponder this. Which is more destructive? Loving people committing to each other and creating new families and social networks, or this?

It's no wonder I left organized religion. This kind of thing is just disgusting.

Wish I were here

It's now my desktop wallpaper, so I guess that's close enough.

Harmonizer harmonizer

My admiration and love of Dolly Parton's music is one of those things that is fairly well documented around these parts. I've written many a post on her in the past and I'm sure there will be many more to come. But one of Dolly's most underappreciated talents is her absolutely amazing ability to harmonize with just about anyone. I was listening to a song that she recorded with Sonya Isaacs called "The Angels Rejoiced" tonight and I was once again reminded of her amazing ability to harmonize. She is just a natural at it, effortlessly finding the harmony and, in her own Dolly fashion, making it seem like it is the melody.

There are countless examples of this and while Google searching "The Angels Rejoiced," I came across an Amazon.com Listmania collection of Dolly rarities, including many songs on which Dolly has either dueted or provided backing harmonies. Part one is here, and part two is here - it seems quite exhaustive. Some of my personal favorites are her presence on Rhonda Vincent's "Heartbreaker's Alibi," Mindy Smith's cover of her own "Jolene," and Norah Jones' "Creepin' In."

But perhaps my favorite is her unlikely 90s duet with Culture Club. Called "Your Kisses Are Charity," it simply must be heard to be believed. (yes, it's a lip synced performance, but I'll take what I can get.)



I especially love her vocals from about 2:09 on - the harmonies just give me chills, although now that I think about it, they are not really harmonies, but you get my meaning. There is also a god-awful lot of stomping going on in that live performance!

All this has prompted me to make a playlist of Harmonizer Dolly. We'll see how it goes. In the meantime, here is her Dolly-ness with Norah Jones.

Filled with pride

It was a long night last night on a lot of levels. I work late tonight and have a hellacious weekend ahead. But for whatever reason, I don't care, because same-sex marriage is finally legal in Iowa. The Iowa Supreme Court upheld a lower courts ruling that it violates the equal protection clause of the state Constitution. Not only did they do that, they did it UNANIMOUSLY.

I have lived my whole life in this state. I don't imagine that I will probably ever live outside of its borders - I am an Iowa boy through and through - and I have never, NOT ONCE, been more proud to be an Iowan than I am right this very instant. It is pretty much the polar opposite of how I felt when Prop 8 passed.

As one of the articles I read said - in politics, as goes Iowa, so goes the nation. One can only hope that it applies in this situation as well.

Well done, Iowa. The people at One Iowa must just be beside themselves.

Heroes & heroines

Heroes and heroines
Are scarcer than they've ever been
So much more to lose than win
The distance, never greater.
--"Heroes & Heroines", Mary Chapin Carpenter

It's hard for me to believe that we've reached the end of the first quarter of this year. Seriously, it seems like 2009 just started. I'm nowhere near keeping up with the blogging pace I started with last year - I'm down about 30% from this time last year. Most of that has just been the natural ebb and flow of things. I haven't been as "into blogging" this year as I have been in the past. That's not a threat to quit blogging or anything. Believe me, if I ever do quit, it will be with a whimper and not a bang. I despise those people that come on to their blogs and declare their intentions to quit as a blatant attention grab. I am, however, thinking of doing a massive overhaul of the blog. Template, title, layout, everything. But we'll see. I also have a lot of other things on my plate.

A lot of this year has been devoted in some form or another to diagnosing Heidi's mystery ailment that has defied (until recently) a diagnosis. It has been a long and hard road for her, for both of us really, but most of all for her. As I pointed out to her the other day, I'm not the one that's hurting pretty much constantly. But I don't exist in a vacuum and I would be lying if I said it hasn't affected me a lot. Part of that has been my marked tendency to pick up things I don't need to pick up, but when you love someone that's hurting for reasons no one can seem to figure out, it's hard not to want to do whatever it takes to help them. It's why Lynette Iles is worth her weight in gold. After all the doctors and tests and more doctors and meds and more tests and an MRI and chiropractors and neurologists and psychics and you-name-it-we've-entertained-the-option, she finally figured out what is causing most, if not all of the chronic pain that Heidi has been dealing with. It's called hypermobility syndrome, and even though it, like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, has no real definitive treatment beyond exercise and analgesics, it's at least a relief to be able to refer to it by name. There is also a possible carpal tunnel component, but frankly, we're beginning to doubt that more and more with each passing day.

This whole experience has really caused a crisis of faith in me - and that sounds dramatic and it is probably overly so. My faith in the ability of traditional Western medicine to find the cause of an illness, accurately diagnose it and treat it successfully has been severely rocked by this. As someone whose job is to be a cog in the wheel of Western medicine, this has proven especially problematic. Before this, I figured that there was no problem that a competent physician could not diagnose and treat. After all, our medical educations are the best in the world, right? I have, in the past, been notoriously skeptical of alternative medicine. Even most herbal remedies get a raised eyebrow and skeptical look from me. If there is no tangible proof that we can measure objectively that a treatment works, then it is not worth trying - or at least that was the school of thought I espoused.

I think the tipping point for me was when Heidi went into the chiropractor and, after her initial appointment, had me come along to play the role of the skeptic. After inadvertently comparing this man's profession to voodoo by saying "I just want something to help her, I don't care if it's voodoo," I took a step back and set my general skepticism of chiropractors gently off to the side. When I thought rationally about it, the things he said made anatomical and physiological sense. What I've come to realize is that the chiropractor is basically nothing more than an osteopath, only without all the internal medicine training. And while her results from the chiropractor have been plus/minus, I think overall it has been positive.

The problem is that our health care delivery system really is broken. Badly broken. I said to Lynette after Heidi's first appointment back in December in which she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after 5 minutes, "Whatever happened to a differential diagnosis?" According to her, in most places it is dead, or only exists on House. I've been trained to put my faith in the diagnostic abilities of physicians and while there are many many good doctors out there, they are operating in a fundamentally flawed system that discourages spending time actually listening to patients and encourages herding them through like so much cattle.

So while these heroes and heroines of health care actually are scarcer than they've ever been (or so it seems), the real hero in all this is Heidi. Rather than just succumb to to it and give up and not fight, every setback has been a reason for her to redouble her efforts. I'm not sure that I would do the same were I in her shoes. She refuses to give in to to the pain and despite the numerous obstacles that have been thrown in her face, she continues to push them aside and persevere. That is not to say that she hasn't had frustration and anger - one look at her blog will tell you that. But the fact that she continues to fight it is an inspiration to me.

We don't know what the future will bring as far as this goes. We certainly didn't think we'd still be trying to figure things out 3 months later. But it's what we do. One day at a time. I frequently say it's the "in sickness and in health" part of the vows, plus for me, I also view it as karma or whatever for all those years she weathered my storms.

But the one thing I do know is that we will continue to face them together.

28 Smurfs Later

Smurfs episode in which angry Smurfs are created by biting + score from 28 Days Later = (near) classic.



(via BuyZombie.com)