58 year-old women rapping

I picked up the new Blondie CD today The Curse of Blondie. It's been out in Europe and Australia since last fall, but I've resisted the urge to pick up an import copy because I was just sure that it'd get a stateside release eventually. I have to say that there aren't too many 58 year-old women that can rap like Deborah Harry. She sounds just like she did way back when she first rapped in "Rapture." The CD itself, on first listen, is a lot like all the other Blondie CDs and (especially) like Debbie's solo stuff in that it's a really slow burn. The song "Good Boys" jumps off the CD at you and you can hardly ignore it because it's like classic Blondie and the rest of them (so far) don't have hooks anything like that, but that's almost good. It's those CDs that hook you immediately that you end up not liking much or burning out of really quick.

Another really good song is "Hello Joe" which just reminds me (in name only) of the Cher song "Hey Joe." Hey Joe! I hear you shot your woman down.

First day down and now the real work begins. I keep telling myself that I won’t be this tired every night after work, but it’s hard to remember that now. I think a lot of it has to do with having to readjust my body’s internal clock—that added with daylight saving time probably is most of the problem. All in all, it was a good day even though I don’t know if I’ll get paid for a full day today or not. I’ll manage, no matter how it works out.

So tonight Jeff’s making lasagna (read: he’s throwing a frozen one in the oven—he doesn’t have Heidi’s culinary abilities) and I’m sure we’ll try to find some cheap airfares to Washington D.C. Yes, that’s right—we’re going to Madonna’s Re-Invention Tour on June 14th at the MCI Center in Washington D.C.!! We’re not on the floor, but we’re on the main concourse (right above the floor) so the seats rock. I can hardly believe that we’re going, let alone that we’re flying all the way to D.C. to go to a concert! It turned out to be a good thing too, because the fourth show in Chicago sold out again. In a way, it’s almost better because now I don’t have to worry about driving to Chicago and in Chicago and trying to get a cab back from the United Center. The D.C. Metro goes right underneath the MCI Center and I remember from riding it back when Heidi and I were there in 2000 that it was the easiest way to get around D.C. So that’s way cool. Jeff’s buying the airfare as a birthday present to me. I’m springing for my ticket and taking care of the hotel room. We were looking at tour spoilers last night trying to get an idea of what the set list might look like—so far we’ve seen “Borderline”, “Deeper & Deeper”, “Justify My Love” and “Bedtime Story” mentioned. This tour is gonna rock!

The people at work are nice and they all seem to be happy to see me. The director is a really nice guy and really laid back so I guess I’m lucky that way too. I am so eager for the whole moving thing to be over and to have my girls living in the same house as me again. I talked to Heidi at lunch and she said that Anna’s doing pretty well although she always thinks that every time a car pulls up in the driveway that it’s “Daddy!” She was telling me that she and Anna are talking a lot about the new house and that everybody’s going to the new house. We’re not going to pack up the vast majority of Anna’s stuff till the last minute. And in addition to all the moving paranoia that Anna seems to be having, we’ve also got a really irrational bugphobia going on too—even when there aren’t any bugs to be seen. I miss her so much—bugphobia and all.

So all in all a good day. I’ll be glad when I only have to drive home in Ames and not drive to Ankeny. The commute was fun in the morning, but not so much at night when all I wanted to do was get home. And now Lita Ford’s “Back To The Cave” is playing in Winamp. What more can you ask for?

This is it!

Today's my last day of work. It's the last day I'll ever come home from this job. They've hired someone to replace me so there's no chance of going back even if I wanted to. They had a party for me yesterday which was really great--I've realized that I've been a little bit harsh on the people at work and all their melodramatic (at least by my estimations) reactions toward my departure. I've realized that this degree of sadness is how some people deal with change. To a lot of these folks, I may as well be dead because they're starting to reconcile the fact that their lives are not going to be shared with mine any more. So it kind of it like a death.

It's a gorgeous day though--sunny but cool and everything's so green. So that feels good. I hope that this kind of weather holds through the move. It would really suck to have either rain or gross amounts of humidity while moving.

Last night, Anna wanted to know why we took down the pictures on the dresser in our room. It was kind of sad--she truly doesn't quite get the move. She knows that something's changing, but isn't sure what. Heidi and I are convinced that Anna thinks she's not going to get to come along. Consequently, we talk a lot about the "new house" and how everybody's going to the new house in a little bit. I was telling Heidi that Anna's right on the edge of getting it--any older and it would be really hard to explain it to her, but any younger and she wouldn't get it at all. I'm not sure if that means the age she's at is a good one to be moving or not, but it's all happening anyway.

Countdown

Two more days of work, and Heidi had a really astute observation last night. We have Howard Dean to thank for moving and all the changes in our lives these days. If he hadn't lost the Iowa caucuses, we probably wouldn't be moving right now. Truthfully, his loss in the caucuses and our caucus experience in general was the catalyst that drove us to look at other jobs and other towns.

This morning I'm listening to Kylie Minogue--I love her no-nonsense attitude to success (or rather, the lack thereof) in the United States. She basically doesn't seem to give a crap whether or not her music flies in the US. And that's refreshing. Thank God she's not doing some God-awful hip hop crap and is staying true to what she loves to do. That kind of committment to music is a rare thing in music these days.

And all that from a lightweight disco-dance singer.

Duran Duran, moving anxieties

My music choice this morning is Duran Duran's 1986 album Notorious. I'm not quite sure what prompted me to listen to this, but it's pretty good for a mid 80s "comeback" CD. Were Duran Duran really making a comeback in 1986? Maybe it was all those side projects--Arcadia, Andy Taylor solo career--that just made it seem like a comeback. Who the hell knows?

So I'm down to three days of work left, and I'm feeling a bit of separation anxiety, but I think it'll be okay. We're done interviewing candidates for my job and I have a pretty good idea who John will hire. So that's good to have that out of the way. I was distressed learning what other pharmacist's positions are paying around the area because dang, I've been working for peanuts for the last 5 years. And if you're to believe some of the things I heard, I'll still be working for (relative) peanuts when I change jobs. Oh well--that's when I tell myself there's more to jobs than the salary. I have no regrets about how this move has played out.

I'll miss John a lot--he's been so much more than just a "boss" to me. He's become my friend along the way too. It's amazing to me that I won't see him every day like I do now. But as I told him, I'll still send him e-mail forwards and as I keep trying to tell myself, just because I'm moving doesn't mean that I'm falling off the face of the Earth so I'll still be alive and if people from work want to get in touch with me, well, I'll be available. That is the one thing that I'm not really looking forward to in the new job--I'm going to have to get to know people all over again, and that's hard and fraught with unknowns and difficulties. But what are my options, really? Never talk to these people? I don't think so. I try to focus of how exciting it'll be to have a whole new social circle and think of the possibilities (which really are endless.)

Mostly, I'm with Heidi. I just want to do this. Being on the edge of moving is just awful.

In the meantime--check this article out in Salon. It's an interview with John Dean and the title of the article is "Creepier Than Nixon."

Andrew Solomon's "A Bitter Pill"

Op-Ed Contributor: A Bitter Pill

This is an op-ed piece from today's New York Times (you'll have to register to read it--it's free) that is written by Andrew Solomon. Solomon is the author of a book called The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression in which he recounts his terrifying descent into depression (by comparison, mine looked like Sunday afternoon in the park) and his ascent out of it--as well as looking at cultural and sociological aspects of the disease. His piece in NYT today is regarding the new FDA warnings that are going to be required on SSRI-type anti-depressants and I think it's just about the most intelligent take on this subject I've read yet. Funny, it sounds a lot like Lynette's take on depression and the labeling changes.

As someone who's a depression survivor (I know that seems like hyperbole but believe me, when you consider the mortality from untreated depression, I consider anyone who makes it back to be a survivor) and a pharmacist, I can't stress the importance of the role these drugs play in giving people their lives back. But they aren't a panacea and nothing will take the place of careful patient monitoring by a qualified health-care provider.

I'll quit before I sound any more like a public-service announcement. :)

Fast Company | The Wal-Mart You Don't Know

Fast Company | The Wal-Mart You Don't Know

I found this article while surfing at www.blogdex.net which cites some of the most frequently blogged items on the internet. It's interesting, to say the least. Heidi and I have decided that we're going to purposely not shop at Wal-Mart once we move to Ames just because we have other choices. Where we live now doesn't provide us with much of a choice because Wal-Mart pretty much drove all the small retailers in town out of business because they couldn't compete with Wal-Mart's "everyday low prices." People speak very fondly of what life in Washington used to be like before Wal-Mart. While I highly doubt that it's all Wal-Mart's fault, I'm sure it had something to do with it. Wal-Mart's pretty much evil in my mind, but I'm sure I'm not the first person to say that.

More to the blog roll, Madonna strikeout

I'm adding a new blog to the blog roll. I don't know this guy at all but his blog is fun to read. It's My Stupid Dog written by a guy named Tim who describes his blog as "miscellaneous culture and politics (but mostly culture) from a gay, conservative grad student and former writing teacher living between careers in beautiful Charlottesville, Virginia." He was linked in the article on why zombies run so fast that was on Slate the other day which is how I stumbled across his blog. Interesting stuff. Funny how zombies connect people.

And as you can probably imagine, getting Madonna tickets was a complete exercise in futility--mostly Heidi's exercise as she was the one at home doing the calling. When we got tickets for the Drowned World Tour, you could get in a phone queue at Ticketmaster before the tickets went on sale, but they wouldn't let you do that for some reason or another this time around. So Heidi tried calling at exactly 10AM and, of course, she could never get through. We were headed to Iowa City for the day so we just kind of resigned ourselves to not being able to get tickets. I came back from Iowa City last night to find out that not only had they added two additional Chicago shows after the first one sold out, but that both of those were sold out as well! There is one addition show (four total) for which tickets have yet to go on sale, but I'm not holding my breath. In a way, it seems kind of silly and I really don't have the money and I'm not really wanting to drive to Chicago. I can always cross my fingers and hope she adds a Des Moines date, but yeah right! Like that's gonna happen! :) Oh well, guess I'd rather get an iPod anyway, but Jeff'll kill me if I don't at least try to get tickets for that last show. Tickets go on sale on Saturday, April 3rd, so we'll see.

100 Movies That Deserve More Love

100 Movies That Deserve More Love

Came across this quite randomly this morning while killing time before church. A fun read.

Madonna...iPod...Madonna...iPod

With the news that Madonna's touring again, I've run into a bit of a snag. I really really really wanted to beg and plead with Heidi and my folks and whoever else wanted to contribute to the cause to get an iPod (or at least an iPod mini) for my birthday. And then Madonna had to go and decide to tour. The tickets start at $45, but those just won't do. No, no, no. Those are probably in the back behind the stage not far from where we sat the last time. Jeff and I talked and we decided that the highest we'll go is the $150 seats ($300 is the max price) but the chances of us getting tickets are pretty remote--especially when you take into consideration things like this. But we'll see.

On the other hand, I really want an iPod. I would love to be able to have that much music at my fingertips for exercising and riding the bus to work (should I decide to go that route) or whatever else might come up. However, it's hard to justify spending that much money on concert tickets *and* and iPod. Oh well, maybe I'll just have to wait another year. Perhaps they'll come down in price. Perhaps I'll save myself the trouble of buying the 21st century equivalent of an 8-track player.

And besides, how many more times is Madonna going to come around?

Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

Dead Run - How did movie zombies get so fast? By Josh Levin

I swear to you--after I go see the Dawn of the Dead remake this weekend, I'll stop blogging about zombies. Maybe. OK, maybe not. I may have to go out and buy the Day of the Dead DVD just for fun.

Choices, choices....

Saw this book up at Barnes & Noble tonight--Fat White Vampire Blues by Andrew Fox. It looked half way interesting, although it could be awful because it sounds like the protagonist is quite the whiner. I didn't really get a chance to peruse it very much as Anna was insistent on running through B&N with an umbrella and figured that probably wasn't the best idea in the world.

I'm almost finished with Under The Banner of Heaven which has been a fascinating read. It's definitely got an anti-Mormon slant, but it's still a good story. Krakauer is a good writer, well, maybe not so much a good writer as he is an engaging one. I still think the best Mormon book I've read is Nightfall At Nauvoo which is, unfortunately, out of print and next to impossible to find at a half-way decent price. I think the next book on my TBR list is The Da Vinci Code. It looks like a fast read as well.

Zombies zombies everywhere

Well, I finished Dawn of the Dead (1978) tonight--what a hoot! A great zombie flick. For the life of me, I can't figure out what possessed me to think that it wasn't that good the last time I tried to watch it. It must have been the weather or something, because it was scary and hilarious and all the things a good zombie movie should be. Lots and lots and lots of zombies. My favorites are (in no particular order):

1) The aforementioned Hare Krishna zombie
2) The nurse zombie
3) The nun zombie
4) The zombie that the invading gang of thugs took the tackled to get her jewelry.

And I totally forgot that this movie contains what is probably the only zombie pie fight ever captured on film. Ryan had told me about that, but I completely forgot about it till tonight.

And for a really stupid quiz to wrap up tonight's blog entry...

Nurse


Which Dawn of The Dead Zombie Are You?
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Wait, I'm a girl zombie?? ;)

Man, I'm exhausted. Slept really poorly last night + I had to get up at 5:45 AM to be to work at 6:30ish to mix cataract stuff. But I did manage to get out of there at 3:30, so that's not too bad. I figure that this is a lot what a 7-3 shift at Ames will be like. I could get into this. I think I'd be okay if I hadn't slept so crappily last night. I don't know what it was--I just tossed and turned and couldn't get comfortable. Finally, I got up and read for a little bit hoping that would make me sleepy, which it finally did. It was well after midnight by the time I got to sleep.

I was going to post this link back in October, but never did. Now, with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre coming out on DVD, I thought it would apropos to post it now. It's called "The Best Little Chophouse in Town -- The Allure of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" I also managed to watch a good chunk of Dawn of the Dead last night since Anna fell asleep at 7:30 PM and Heidi's currently in a total writing mode. Better than I remember it being. This is the U.S. theatrical cut, so a lot of the gore that was in the version I watched this summer (director's cut) is excised and believe me, less is definitely more. I think my favorite zombie is still the Hare Krishna Gandhi-meets-Stanford-Blatch zombie that attacks the female lead in their little bunker at the mall

Had to cancel my appointment with Claire tomorrow as they're interviewing someone for my job tomorrow and my presence was requested. So I'll be going next Monday, and come hell or high water, I will be there. It's probably best as it'll be right before the move. I'll miss Claire a lot. Don't know that I'll find someone in Ames that can fill her shoes.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 edition) is coming out on DVD at the end of March. I'll have to go pick up the fully loaded 2-disc special edition when it comes out. That's one of the things I'm really looking forward to in the new house--I'll have a place where I can watch my horror movies and not worry about Heidi or Anna having to watch them.

I slept way too late this morning--when I start my new job I'm going to have to figure out a way to get up earlier! This is the second to the last week at my job here. It's funny how quickly it seems to be wrapping up. Personally, it can't happen soon enough. We've made the decision and now we just want to move and get it over with. A month from now, we'll be completely moved to Ames with our only connection to Washington being this house if it doesn't manage to sell in the meantime.

I still get worried about the money. I can't figure out how I can afford to do all this, but every time I sit down and crunch the numbers, it works out. So I need to just get a grip and trust that it'll all be okay. I think about Ames and I just get so excited. I'm so eager to live in the neighborhood that we're going to be living in. I can't wait to take Anna to the park and to the library. I can't wait to take her on the bus. It's going to be so much better for everyone in our family.

If it seems like I'm trying to convince myself of that by saying it over and over again, I think that's just a defense mechanism because I'm really not much of a risk taker and this amounts to a big risk in the short term. In the long run, it'll be a great move, but the financial and emotional crunch of the move will definitely show short term. Good thing I'm going to Claire tomorrow.

Oh, and what would a blog post be without a link to somewhere. The Exorcist in 30 seconds re-enacted by bunnies.

I noticed this week just how weak the comic strip Garfield has become. Not that I hadn't noticed this before, but it just seemed especially apparent this week. The entire week was spent with Jon having put a toilet plunger on his face. The strip then managed to milk that joke (which wasn't particularly funny in the first place) the entire week. Maybe it's just me, but most of the comics really aren't that funny anymore. Most of the really good ones were retired before they began to age horribly (Calvin & Hobbes immediately jumps to mind, followed by The Far Side) and some of the ones that hang on are just ridiculous--most notably The Family Circus--just how many times are they going to resurrect the "Billy walks all around the yard" Sunday strip idea? For a very odd and only slightly funnier take off on The Family Circus look here.

MSNBC - The living dead will never die

I haven't been to the new Dawn of the Dead movie yet--have to wait for my sister to get back from Arizona first as Heidi won't go see it--but it got an A in Entertainment Weekly and is 78% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes! Here's a good little article on it that I came across on MSNBC. Yeah, I know this is lazy blogging, but life's busy okay?

MSNBC - The living dead will never die

Can't wait to get to that movie!

Salon.com | "Who cares what you think?"

This is a great article that I read in Salon this morning.

Salon.com | "Who cares what you think?": That's what President Bush shot back at me when I told him what I thought of his performance. As November approaches, I have to thank him for pointing me toward exactly the right question.

So the snow made it impossible to get to Iowa City to see Claire today. Not all bad, I guess. I'm running out of things to talk about. Seems like my life isn't as crazy as it used to be--at least not in the ways that I need to talk about it. I don't know. I'm pretty much adjusted to the fact that we're moving and voluntarily turning our lives upside down. But it'll only be for a little while and then the new normal will be established. Kinda like after Anna was born--it just took time to establish a new normal.

Not sure what the hell I'm talking about tonight. Feel like talking to someone but don't really have anyone to talk to tonight. I'm listening to Everything But The Girl tonight on Rhapsody. They're probably best known for that ubiquitous dance hit "Missing" from back in 1995 or so. I love Tracey Thorn's vocals because they're so detached and yet they have a lot of emotion. Is that an oxymoron? Can you be detached and still feel emotion? Hard telling I guess. Whatever the case, I'm enjoying it quite a bit tonight. The CD is Walking Wounded. It reminds me a little bit of the music that I might have been listening to when I first got to Iowa City although that's utterly impossible as it's quite ensconced in electronica without being too techno. But it's mellow and matching my mood well tonight.

I downloaded the new Diana Krall song this morning from iTunes. I only have one free iTune left!! Better get on those Pepsi drinkers at work. Anyway, it's a refreshing change of pace from her last album which was basically Sominex on CD. The new CD is apparently coming out in April, so that's something to look forward to.

Well, it snowed some ungodly amount last night and I'm here to tell you that it oughta be illegal (Barbra Streisand lyric alert!!) to snow at this point in the winter. Normally, I'd be loving it, but this year I really want to get on with spring. This is so weird for me because the warmer weather just makes me want to be ill a lot of the time--summer is just so dang uncomfortable--but this winter has been especially cold and I'm just not all that excited about it. So the car is completely covered in snow and I think it'll be quicker just to walk to work even though we had already packed away all the boots because, well, who knew?

I've been thinking about resubscribing to The New Yorker when I get moved to Ames. I don't know what's brought this about--as if I need any more things to read in my life. And half the time only about a third of the magazine is of any interest. But it never fails, I pick up a copy at Claire's office and start reading some article that I can't possibly hope to finish in the five minutes I have before I have my appointment and there I am, hooked again. Does it matter that there'll be a lot more room in the new house for stuff like old New Yorker magazines to collect? Can I really handle another weekly magazine? (OK, the only other weekly magazine I take is Entertainment Weekly and that's not exactly high literature or anything. It's fun and a great read--but it's not exactly the most challenging thing in the world.) But then I think I'll only be living a scant 6-7 blocks from the Ames Public Library so I could always just run down there, right? Who knows--beings as I'll have my own room in the house for all the stuff that is mine I might just have to resubscribe.

Wendy came down tonight and she watched Anna for a little while as Heidi and I boxed up even more of our life in anticipation of our big move. It's a bit sad to see everything going into boxes, but in a way, it's kind of fun. At least we're moving forward. I still think that it's gonna need something the size of the Titanic to move our stuff, but fortunately for me, Heidi's a master packer having moved so many times in the past. After the boxing of stuff and moving of large stuff to the garage in preparation for either (a) being given the the local Y day-care or (b) going out on large garbage day, we went to the Pizza Ranch and then came back and watched reruns of "The Golden Girls" that we'd taped back before we moved to Washington. It's definitely not okay to admit that I'm a 31 year old man that giggles like an idiot while watching that show, but aren't blogs for raw emotion and writing whatever the hell? So there it is.

I went to my Democratic county convention today in Heidi's stead as she's so disgusted with the whole thing she didn't think she could sit through it. Good thing I did, too, as she would have just been irritated with the whole thing and never stopped thinking about the hundreds of other ways she could be spending her time. We managed to send 3 (of 19) delegates to the state convention for Dean which doesn't change the fact that Kerry will be the nominee but I stood for what I believe in. I'm eager to find out what Dean For America is going to become on March 18--maybe it'll give me reason to be proud of the system again.

Mark Twain said that a true patriot is someone who supports his country all the time and his government only when it deserves it. Truer words never spoken.

It's been a pretty fun night after I slept pretty much all afternoon--I think I was a lot more sleep deprived than even I knew. Too much going to bed late and getting up early, plus the fact that I'm not really as young as I used to be so that can't go on for an indefinite period of time like it used to. I laid down in bed with Anna as she went down for her nap around 1:00 and neither one of us woke up until around 4:30. I felt so much better for it though, even though the day was pretty much a wash. We made brownies and lemon bars tonight (I had this unexplainable craving for lemon bars earlier in the week, so much so that I almost went out and bought a mix the other night.) With that craving satiated and now it's nearly 10PM, I'm not sure what the rest of the night holds.

I did buy the DVD of George Romero's original Dawn of the Dead tonight at Wal-Mart. I'm sure it's been released on Special Edition DVD now so that its release is as close to the opening of the remake as is possible. I'm so eager to see the remake--if it's half as good as its trailer, then it'll be a high class zombie movie. I'm not sure what to make of the running zombies though--the zombies are definitely influenced by the zombies in 28 Days Later but that's not all bad either.

Zombie movies are just too damn much fun.

This is why I love Dolly Parton so much. Only Dolly could record this kind of song: "Evening Shade."

Between the babies born dead, the little kids dying, the daddies that drink or work their fingers to the bone for next to nothing, you never know what you're going to get from Dolly. Obviously, this is one of her older works, and I'm not even sure if she wrote it--(a quick check of www.allmusic.com shows that she did, in fact write it)--but it's just classic Dolly.

And on that same CD is another doozy..."Daddy's Moonshine Still."

Read it and weep--or laugh your ass off. God bless Dolly Parton.

So now I've queued up on Rhapsody the new Rick Astley compilation CD. Talk about major guilty pleasure!! By all rights, I shouldn't be listening to this guy. I almost used my last free iTune to buy a song off of it based on the song sample, but I decided to listen to the whole thing first. "Never Gonna Give You Up" is the song that's playing now which is, of course, the one that was played ad nauseum during the first part of 1988. I can still remember staying up late to watch the world premiere video of "Together Forever." What's sad is that I remember that, and that I remember it fondly!

Today I've been a little bit worried about the house selling. There are so many houses for sale in Washington, and since we only have 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, I'm sure that our house is less attractive than others--especially when bigger houses are going for comparable amounts. It's always hard to tell though because the other ones might be gross inside causing them to sell for less. It's just hard to know. I'll be glad when the whole house selling thing is over with. I know, I know, the house has only been on the market for a few weeks, but it's just nerve-wracking. A part of me is glad that there aren't people traipsing through it every single day of the week, but I wish more people were interested in it. I keep telling myself that it will sell in due time and that we're moving into a better time of the year for selling a house so just chill out. It doesn't help that that seems to be the new thing everybody at work is fixated on. "Did you sell your house yet? Did you sell your house yet?" Geez.

I had a little bit of job-change remorse today because I saw my job posted on the bulletin board at work and also saw the help wanted ad in the paper tonight. That kind of sealed it for me--I really am leaving!! Like there was any doubt. I know that it's all for the best, but I'm just very eager (and anxious) to get moved and get settled into my new job. It'll take a lot of the question marks out of everything. I mean, things are going to be different for a really long time and there's no getting around that. I'm just glad we're not going into fall--although it feels that way a lot. I have a hard time keeping my mood up even though I know that this is a positive change and that my folks won't let me sink. But I just want things to work out so badly--and I want to do it on my own, which I'm sure I will but you know.

Well, better get to bed. It's getting late and I want to read some more of Ender's Game before bed.

Anna's in the other room watching Sleeping Beauty which she just adores. Heidi and I decided that whoever did the voice of Maleficent must have been somehow channeling Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford. Just goes to show you how pervasive Joan really is. :)

There's another bat in the attic. And I have get stuff out of there to get packed. The cats are sitting there just waiting for the door to open so that they can get in there and have at that bat. I'm so sick of bats. I'm so sick of this town. I'm so sick of the whole moving process. I just want to put everything in a transporter and have it just set up in the new house and never have another bat ever come to roost in our house again.

Musical Tastes

This is courtesy of a friend of mine (Brian) who got it from someone else, and couldn't wait to try it myself. The idea is to queue up every MP3 you have in your collection into something like Windows Media Player or Winamp and then randomize the entire list. After you do that, take the first 10 songs in the playlist and that should give you a fairly good idea of what your musical tastes are like. Here's mine (and yeah, I had a buttload of MP3s to load into Winamp.)

1. Justify My Love (Orbit 12" Mix) -- Madonna (from the "Justify My Love" maxi-single)
2. The War Song -- Culture Club
3. My Love Is Your Love (Thunderpuss 2000 Radio Edit) -- Whitney Houston
4. In The Pines -- Dolly Parton (Live from the Heartsongs CD)
5. Son Of A Preacher Man -- Dusty Springfield
6. Nikita -- Elton John
7. As Long As You Love Me -- Backstreet Boys
8. Love At The Pier -- Blondie
9. I Did -- Trisha Yearwood
10. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss -- PM Dawn

Yikes. I'm not sure what's scarier--how eclectic that list is or that the entire running time of all the MP3s in Winamp was upwards of 80 hours.

Which Peanuts Character Are You?

You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Personally, I always thought of myself as more of a Linus, but Heidi says I'm not pithy enough to be Linus.

Found this interesting tidbit in my surfing this morning. Madonna touring again?? And me about to head into abject poverty? It figures. :) I'll probably have to sit this tour out for a lot of reasons, but it's almost always better on DVD anyway.

I'm feeling a little better this morning--not quite as grousy about things. I had a relatively good night's sleep even though it didn't feel like it when I woke up. Anna kicked my side and my head throughout most of the night, so there was that. We had a pretty good time with the Dean people last night--it's always fun to go and sit in an echo chamber for a while when you're feeling crappy. That way you can throw out the oddest conspiracy theories or whatever and have them validated. Not that I'm stupid enough to believe most of them, but it is fun to be amongst like-minded people.

Today I'm listening to a mix of Liz Phair and Sheryl Crow which is really the kind of music I'm after these days. Not really in the mood for my dance remixes and other such stuff that I usually listen to. I'm looking for something that's a little more earthy and less "out-there." I still don't think that a lot of Liz's old stuff is as polished as the stuff on Liz Phair. And that's probably the criticism that was leveled against the album anyway so what the hell do I know? As Heidi says, it's a smoky low female voice so she could be singing about dog poop and I would probably still like it. And I suppose that's true--when you think about it, most of the female artists that I like really are altos. I don't know what it is, I just love that type of style of music and style of singing.

And from Sheryl Crow and Liz Phair I go to a metal cover of "Rhiannon." Man, my tastes are all over the place. Well, not really because I doubt I'll ever listen to this song again!!

Ok, can I just say that I'm officially sick and tired of people acting like I'm either dying of a terminal illness or being the ultimate traitor to society because I chose to change jobs? It's really getting old to go down the hallways at work and have random employees say "There's the traitor!" or "I'm gonna cry every time I see you now!" What am I supposed to do with that? Are these people really that selfish?

And I've had it up to here with my online men's group to which is supposed to be about supporting each other as men but apparently has turned into a place to debate the minutiae of religion and politics. Jesus Christ--I can get that anywhere else. A part of me wants to tell those people to go debate religion on a religion group, but fat lot of good that would do anyway. It just goes to show me that you really can't find good male camaraderie--even on the internet where it's supposed to be easier to get to know people. I basically have no good male camaraderie anymore as all the guys I would normally talk to at work are just not really talking to me because I'm leaving and the non-work friends I have are so damn busy with their own lives. I can't remember the last time I heard from friends on e-mail or over the phone. And it certainly hasn't been for lack of trying. Oh well, maybe this is just something I have to go through on my own and not depend on other people. It wouldn't hurt to have a little support right now and I can't count on Heidi for all of it. I'm hoping that when I get to Ames I can find some male-bonding type stuff, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll ever be able to do that.

I guess I'm just feeling pretty lonely tonight and I suppose it's good we're going to the Taste of China to see some local Dean people. But so much of my life here is like a chapter in a book that's almost over, so it's not worth getting attached to people here just to leave them.

Dang, am I taking my meds or not?

Heidi kinda nailed the whole Bookcrossing thing...it's kind of the adult internet equivalent of releasing helium filled balloons on the last day of school or during Vacation Bible School or whatever with little pieces of paper with your address in them, hoping beyond hope that someone will find them. No one ever found my balloons growing up--so I suppose no one will ever find my books. Or, rather, a janitor will probably find my books and trash them. Oh well, at least I'm doing my part for book karma. But I won't deny there's a part of me that gets a cheap thrill out of wondering where the books I release will go to.

I have to say that ever since Howard Dean dropped out of the Democratic race, I've really lost interest. Kerry is so uninspiring to me as a candidate. MAD TV did a skit on Saturday which was a take-off on "American Idol" only it was "American Political Idol" and a guy playing Kerry was on there with the on-screen descriptor "JOHN KERRY -- Frontrunner and living corpse." And that isn't too far off. I tell you, if I vote for Kerry, it'll be more a vote against Bush than anything else unless he gives me something to feel passionate about. So consequently, I haven't been reading the Daily Kos as much anymore. I feel like I should care more, but I feel like the Democrats screwed up so bad this year by going with a "centrist" (really, Kerry is more liberal than Dean, but Kerry can ostensibly "beat Bush" so whatever.) The DLC will run Kerry as a centrist and we all know how well that worked the last time. Electing Kerry will stop the shenanigans of the Bush administration, but it won't affect any real change. Kerry's as bought and paid for as Bush only by different people.

So much for my political aspirations. Truth be told I never was very comfortable with the whole phone calling thing. Maybe that was just a Washington thing, but I doubt it. I think most Iowans were sick to death of phone calls and campaign literature by the time the caucus rolled around. Guess I better go back to music and pop culture--I'm a lot better at those kinds of things anyway.

I know I haven't updated the blog in forever, but I've been busy!! I'm moving!! We're finally escaping the clutches of Washington and getting ourselves to the (relatively) bigger city of Ames. I'm gonna be working at the hospital there, and I think that it'll be a good change. It's scary and fraught with uncertainties, but I think once we get past the unknown stuff and get moved there it'll start to feel a little better. Not that it feels bad or anything, although I am sad to leave some of the people at the hospital now. It never was the job that had me wanting to leave Washington, even though I have kind of been feeling like I've hit the ceiling at my job--whether that's true or not, I can't tell you, but I'm moving now so that's kind of a moot point.

I've been feeling sort of "depressed" which really isn't the right word but it works in a pinch. I can't seem to focus and am having to work a lot harder to keep from slipping into a depressed state. I've been noticing that I'm withdrawing a lot--not really wanting to talk to anyone and mostly just wanting to disappear into my own world. I suppose that's not all bad as that'll give me time to think about stuff and not be all distracted by other things.

I've been listening to a lot of Liz Phair these days and I have to say that I'm really enjoying her stuff. I think the thing I like about Liz is that she has moxie! Yeah, she's a little bit naughty and singing about hot white cum is not exactly the thing that I'd like to expose Anna to (so consequently she doesn't listen to much Liz Phair.) I've mostly been listening to her latest CD that came out last summer. I think one of my favorites has got to be "Rock Me" where she talks about dating a guy 9 years younger than her--"I wanna play Xbox on your floor/Say hi to your roommate/Who's next door?" and in one of the best self-references in a song I've heard in a while "Your record collection don't exist/You don't even know who Liz Phair is."

Heidi doesn't like Liz much (more accurately, she's alternates between being intrigued and wanting to wash her mouth out with soap) but it's not the first artist that I've liked that she hasn't! :)

And in much safer music news--I just can't get enough of that Norah Jones/Dolly Parton song "Creepin' In." Check it out--it's on Norah Jones' new CD.

Well, the weekend hasn't been quite what I hoped for, but it was still pretty good nonetheless. The hospital hasn't called too much, and what they've called for has been pretty legit, so I can't really complain about that. I'm eager this week to see if the new job I interviewed for gets offered to me or not. Heidi seems to think that I have it in the bag, but I don't know--I'm just not that confident. Ames would be a great place to live--it'd certainly be a step up from here and I think I'd like working at the hospital there, even though John's probably right in saying that it's less clinical than what I'm doing at my current job. But what's pressing me to move isn't the job (not really anyway)--it's the town. We just don't fit in here at all. I was at Pamida earlier today and it just reinforced why I wanted to leave--it's a dying town. Really it is! And to stay here is to die along with it. If they had called me and offered me the job this afternoon, I would have taken it in a heartbeat.

On the lighter side, one of my latest momentary obsessions is mash-ups--y'know when they take two songs and kind of splice them together into one song. Well, I've really been into Eminem mash-ups and I managed to download about four or five before the computer guy (rather rudely) uninstalled Kazaa from my computer without even asking me first. I think my favorite one is "The Real Slim Shady (Billie Jean Mix)" which, as you might imagine, combines Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" and puts it over the top of an instrumental track of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." They've also mashed that song with Britney Spears' "Oops…I Did It Again" which gives you "Oops…Slim Shady Did It Again." There were a whole bunch of Madonna ones that I got back in the Napster and Audiogalaxy days, the best one probably being a mash-up of Hanson's "Where's The Love" and Madonna's "Express Yourself." It's probably the one thing I'll miss most about the file-sharing programs like Napster and Kazaa--those kinds of things aren't commercially available so you won't find them on legit music services like iTunes and Rhapsody. My biggest lament at the loss of both Napster and Audiogalaxy were all the DJ remixes of Madonna songs that I would probably never be able to lay hands on. Of course, a large majority of those sucked anyway so it's probably not that big of a loss.

I don't really know why I like Eminem--he's not the easiest person in the world to listen to and he's definitely vulgar (a lot of times for vulgarity's sake) and Heidi really can't stand him. But I think it's probably because he's really this generation's Madonna. In a weird way, they have a lot in common. Plus his use of samples just rocks. That Dido sample in "Stan" and the Aerosmith sample in "Sing For The Moment" are just absolutely fantastic. And normally, I don't really like samples but they can be cool when used in the right place. I'm thinking specifically of that "I'm Coming Out" sample in "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" or whatever that dumb rap song is.

Yesterday I had the Cher song “Give Our Love A Fightin’ Chance” stuck in my head. Endlessly looping around in there—“We can talk it over baby, woman to man/Give our love a fightin’ chance!” How crazy is that? I don’t think I’d even thought of that song in at least months, if not years, and there it is playing over and over in my head.

Really wanting to leave this town today. I have no idea how I’m going to make that happen. I mean, there’s the whole matter of getting another job and finding a new place to live. Heidi’s really stuck on Ames right now but who knows if that’ll work out? I really just want a new start—a clean slate so-to-speak. It’s not that I’m necessarily unhappy here, it’s just that I think we’d all be happier in a bigger town where there are more opportunities to do things. I would love for there to be something like a book group or a movie group or something, but you know that won’t ever happen here in this small town. I keep reading stuff in the CR paper or the Iowa City paper that talks about people getting together at Barnes & Noble to discuss a book or something like that. And then there’s all the cultural stuff going on. Maybe I am just a limousine liberal (only thing is I can’t afford the limo) because I really like my life to be cultured and caffeinated.

I think Ames would be a good match for us. I mean, I have a history there, but not as extensive as the one I have in Iowa City. I think moving back to Iowa City would be a lot like a step backward rather than a step out of the mire and funk. I think that going back there, although attractive, would be a misstep. We really don’t have any friends up there any more, so it wouldn’t be any different than moving to a completely new city. And I think Ames would be a good place for us to start over again. They have good schools for Anna, it’s close to Des Moines, we’d be fairly close to Mary & Jeff again. I said the other day that I might even consider working retail for a while if I had to just to get to Ames. However, I don’t know that I can do that. And plus, I have to try not to get attached to Ames being the answer to all my problems. I know that moving there would cause other problems in our life to crop up. We’d bitch about traffic again, we’d barely know our neighbors. But as Heidi said, it’s not like we know our neighbors all that well here in Washington and that’s supposed to be one of the draws of small towns.

Maybe we’re just private people and it’s *us* that’s the problem. Maybe we’re likely to feel this way wherever we go. Who knows.

I told Heidi that I was going to post my guilty pleasures and that I had four. Her response was "FOUR?!?! Try forty!" OK, yeah, I'm a living, breathing collection of guilty pleasures. I'm going to leave out the obvious ones (Madonna) and the ones that are guilty only because I'm a guy (Barbra Streisand) and concentrate on a few others.

MUSIC:
1) Dolly Parton – I love Dolly. Yeah, she's a caricature of herself (big boobs, big hair, cheap makeup, glittery clothes) but if you can look past the image, she's truly one of the greatest country songwriters of the last 50 years, and almost without a doubt the most influential female country songwriter. She's done it all—traditional country, country-pop, 80s cheese, bluegrass (a bluegrass cover of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" even!), disco and even a duet with Boy George! Even when the stuff she does doesn't quite work (see 1987's Rainbow) it's almost always guaranteed to be fun. OK, the biggest exception to this would be her latest CD For God And Country which I sampled off of Rhapsody and found it to be a take-off on Lawrence Welk's Capitol 4th! And the greatest thing about Dolly is she's not just confined to music. 9 to 5 is one of my all time favorite movies and it's due in no small portion to Dolly's presence.
2) Clay Aiken – I really don't get into "American Idol" at all, in fact, I've never watched an episode, but I must have seen Clay on Live With Regis & Kelly one morning when I was on my rounds at the hospital. I found myself pleasantly surprised by the song and so I checked out the rest of the CD on Rhapsody. While Heidi's not as impressed as I was, it's really good pop music. He kind of reminds me of a latter-day Rick Astley (another guilty pleasure.) But I found myself thinking to myself "what's a 31 year old man doing listening to Clay Aiken? Ostensibly, I should hate this!!" Alas, I don't. I'm almost ready to go buy the CD.

MOVIES:
1) Xanadu – Starring the one and only Olivia Newton-John!! ONJ was my first true celebrity crush, and this was one of the first movies I have recollection of going to at the theater. It is cheesy, it is kitschy, there is no way in hell it would ever be made today, but, God love the 80s, it got made then. I knew Heidi was a keeper when she sat through a showing of that movie with me. Xanadu is out on DVD now, in all it's cheesy glory. During a replay after getting the DVD for Christmas, Heidi turns to me and says "I must have really been head over heels for you to sit through this!"

TV:
1) "The Golden Girls" – As our friend Mary says, "Back in high school, most people were out getting laid on Saturday night while I was at home watching 'The Golden Girls.'" Well Mary, that makes two of us. This is the one show that, no matter how many times I've seen the episode, will make me sit and giggle like a little kid. What a great ensemble cast—and to think that Betty White was originally going to play the part of sexpot Blanche (although it would have made her turn as a potty-mouthed widow in Lake Placid a little easier to take.) Back in the days when we had cable, GG would be on Lifetime at least 4 times a day, so I was in heaven. Heidi and I can hardly wait for it to be released on DVD (no release date yet!)

Well that's it for now. Gotta get ready for work.

Caucus Insanity

OK, that's quite enough surfing of classmates.com for one night. I tell ya, that site is such a guilty pleasure and the biggest problem is that you always find out just enough to pique your curiosity and to find out any more, you have to pay for the damn thing. No way—I'm not that interested in what my former classmates from high school are doing.

I haven't written in forever and I'm not entirely certain why that is. It's been a crazy month. The Dean campaign consumed us during the month of January and the run-up to the caucuses. It seems like the staffer for Washington and Henry county was calling us every other day with some request or another. Truthfully, Heidi and I are just not cut out for the life of political activists. We're too introverted to really be effective and speaking for myself, it's mostly just aggravating because I felt so strongly about it and anyone who didn't agree with me was mostly just being dumb and not seeing the light. Yeah, that's a really ridiculous thing to think because, hello, there are more answers than just the one in my head, but y'know!

The whole caucus thing was a big disappointment—and not just because Dean performed so poorly in Iowa. For some unknown reason, Heidi (and by default, me as well) were Dean precinct captains which basically meant that we were the big campaign people at our precinct's caucus. Well, neither of us had ever caucused before and boy were we in for a surprise. Part of the trouble was that in the weeks leading up to the caucus, Dean had been the frontrunner and we had been led to believe (erroneously) that there would be a large number of Dean supporters in the room. Well, we got there and we looked out at this vast sea of Kerry and Edwards supporters—and some of those people had gone on the record as being Dean supporters! The campaign had been serious about getting all potential supporters called and what not, but it seemed to me that the campaign turned a lot of voters off with the incessant calling. I know that I talked to more than my fair share of people that were just sick of the whole thing and didn't want to hear anything more about any of the candidates.

So we're in the room and the Edwards precinct captain is really damn annoying but, admittedly, really good at his job. You could tell this wasn't his first caucus. The Kerry people were pretty quiet for the most part. There were a few Gephardt people and a couple of Kucinich people as well, but the Dean, Edwards and Kerry groups were the only ones that were viable. The Gephardt people quickly split between Edwards and Kerry, and we grabbed one of the Kucinich people. I don't know what happened to the other Kucinich supporters—maybe they left. That was just the thing. There was so much confusion in the whole thing. I tried to count heads in our group several times and kept getting different results. I mean, all we needed was 9 people in the group to be viable and we ended up with 12, but I couldn't keep track because of the general craziness in the room and the Edwards guy talking above just about all the noise in the room. All these Edwards and (to a lesser extent) Kerry people were giving us this evil eye like "how DARE we come to the caucus if we weren't going to support their candidate?" Well, pardon fucking me, but this is still a democracy and I can stand and be counted for whichever candidate I want.

After the whole thing was over I had this split feeling of having done the right thing by taking part in the political process but realizing just how screwed up the caucus system really is. I mean, it was so easy to manipulate, especially in our small town. It was all about who you knew and how you could make them feel uncomfortable enough till they came and stood with you. And I think that was the thing that bugged me the most. Here we are in our small town at was is ostensibly a meeting of our neighbors and we never felt more alienated in our life. This is a really conservative town and I thought "Wow! What a great opportunity to meet other Democrats in town." Well, if these are the Democrats, I can't get down to the courthouse to switch my registration back to Independent quickly enough. They looked at us icily and there was no sense of what should be the ultimate goal—getting rid of Bush. It was all about the candidates, which I suppose I should have expected. It so didn't matter to the Edwards supporters that their guy really has no chance. Unfortunately, it's all going to come down to money in the long run. And Dean's the only one with it.

It makes me want to leave this town so much—so much I'm looking for other jobs. Not that I'm unhappy in my job, but I'm just so unhappy in this town. We've been here for five years now and we barely know anyone. If you're not born and bred here, then you're not welcome. I worry sometimes that it's us—that we're the dysfunctional ones and not the town, but even if it is, we're still not a good fit for the town.

But after all my political campaigning, I must say that I'm glad the focus is on other states from here on out. It's fun to have the candidates come through and have them come to your house and things like that, but I'm glad it's over. I'm ready to go back to something I'm good at—the Oscars!

Metrosexuality

On a listserv that I'm a member of, we've been talking about metrosexuality--i.e. straight guys that are not afraid to be in touch with their "feminine side." This usually entails being up to snuff on fashion and going to spas and stuff like that. Well, I found this quiz that can help you decide if you're metro or not. This is how I scored.

==========
You're almost metro.
You're almost there!

You're on the right track with the way you dress, the places you shop
and the people you're with. Time for a little help from your friends.

Our advice: Spend more time with your gay friends, your girlfriends,
or visit your stylist. Avoid NASCAR events.
==========

Alas, I fear that I may be living in too rural of an area to be truly considered metrosexual. Years ago (hell, even a year ago) I would have shied away from that label entirely, but now, what the hell?

We're off to Heidi's dad's today. We have to do the obligatory church thing which isn't so bad. I kinda wish I didn't have to work tomorrow, but I suppose I'll get over it. Being on call this weekend kinda sucked because they actually called (which is a change from what they've done in the past) and they're just so dang dense sometimes.

Haven't blogged in forever--I know that's the same song, different verse. We made it through Christmas intact. My folks came down for the actual Christmas holiday. My sister also stayed overnight on Christmas Eve, which led to some tense cat moments while we decided exactly how we were going to keep cats away from my parents (sleeping in Anna's room) and Wendy (sleeping on the futon downstairs.) But we all survived, for after all, it was only one night. I got my Alien Quadrilogy DVD set, along with the Indiana Jones series on DVD. I'm telling you, between the books and DVDs we got, I'll either be watching TV or reading for a dang long time.

So anyway, Heidi went to Iowa City to go to The Return of the King again and I stayed home with Anna. She met her uncle and cousin up there, so it wasn't like she was going alone. We've had a good time at home this afternoon. We watched Sleeping Beauty and now she's watching Teletubbies. I was a "bad dad" and watched the rat horror movie Willard (the Crispin Glover remake version) while she was up and around. She kept saying "mouse! mouse!" which I thought was precious but I suppose that I could probably get in trouble with some sort of state child services program for letting her watch horror films. My take on it is that the sooner she learns all that stuff is fake, the less there is to be scared of. Now that doesn't mean that I'm going to let her go watch The Exorcist or something like that, but if she seems to want to watch something that I can talk to her about, then I'm going to do that.

I picked up the "new" Madonna CD today Remixed and Revisited. It's really damn short (29 minutes!) but it was only ten bucks so there's really no complaining--especially since we got a whole new studio album earlier this year. The remixes are of "Nothing Fails", "Nobody Knows Me", "Love Profusion" and "American Life." I was shocked to find that they are actually more rock remixes than they are dance remixes--and dang, are they good! The "American Life" remix is a bit on the weird side, but overall, I really enjoy them. The biggest plus is the release of a previously unavailable track from the Bedtime Stories sessions called "Your Honesty." What was Madonna thinking? Why did she not put this on the album? She could have nixed either "I'd Rather Be Your Lover" or the heinously awful "Don't Stop" and put this great little song on instead. It wouldn't have been a hit single, but boy, it would have sure been a good album track. I was talking to Jeff about it last night and he thought that it seemed like it was so much cheesier than anything Madonna would do now, and while that's true, it was still way fun.

I picked up Ryan from the airport yesterday in Cedar Rapids, and it was really good to see him again. I never realized how much his moving away would change things around here. So he'll be here for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and he's bringing Olinka (sp?) so that'll be fun. I'm very eager to meet her. She seems like she's super-sweet. I mean, she bought Anna a Teletubby! She'll have won Anna over, that's for sure.

It has been a bloody long time since I've blogged. I guess live has been busy. The real world interfering with online? Imagine that!

Heidi's smack dab in the middle of entering two manuscripts to the Golden Heart. This means that I see her about 2 hours out of the day total because she's writing like a mad woman up in the office. It's actually not so bad--Anna and I hang out and listen to music. Tonight we put her wood puzzles together and looked at CDs. She's really getting smart, I tell ya. Tonight I heard her say "Anna" for the first time. It was very distinct and in response to me asking her "Who's that?" and pointing to a picture of her. She's just so dang cute.

Well I think I've died and gone to heaven because the Alien movies are getting the deluxe DVD box set treatment. I love these movies, even though the last two were pretty much box office bombs. The coolest things about the Alien movies is how intricate the life cycle of the alien is. And the story is full of subtleties as well. The whole wanting to use the alien as a bioweapon and the thick-headedness of the humans on Earth of trying to get one back to Earth despite the fact that one alien can usually make mincemeat out of just about any large group of people is a cool concept. Why do they think they can tame that thing? My biggest gripe with the Alien movies, though, is how slimy and slobbery the aliens got as the movies went on. And yeah, the CGI aliens in the 4th movie are pretty fake looking. But fortunately, they also used models and puppets.

And I never knew that Joss Whedon (of "Buffy" fame) wrote the 4th movie. And know that, it makes total sense. There is quite a bit of Whedon-ness in that movie.

There's a really cool web site that I remember stumbling across when I was in grad school that described in the most minute detail the life cycle of the alien, plus its social behavior, etc., as if it were actually a real living thing and not just a product of Hollywood. It's called The Anchorpoint Essays and if you're interested in that kind of stuff, I suggest reading it. There's reams and reams of stuff to read there.

It's been a while since I've updated this thing. We went to Iowa City tonight and Heidi bought a new pair of shoes while Anna and I wandered around the mall. We're gearing up for Anna's second birthday which is next weekend. My folks are coming down and Jeff and Mary are coming as well. It should be a pretty fun time. Hard to believe that she'll be two already. However, she's acting every bit the part of a two-year-old these days, so I guess it's not that hard to believe.

We listened to that Dolly Parton tribute CD on the way home tonight. It's surprising how good that is. As I've probably mentioned before, remakes--and especially tribute albums--almost always end up sounding like celebrity karaoke. But these are some very capable covers of Dolly's music. The song choices are a bit on the odd side, although there's the obligatory "Coat Of Many Colors" and "Jolene" Probably the biggest surprise on the CD is Me'Shell NdegéOcello's (say that three times fast--hell say that one time slow!!) version of "Two Doors Down" which is unconventional to say the least. I also really like Alison Moorer's version of "Light Of A Clear Blue Morning" (which will always be that crazy song from Straight Talk to me) even though at first it didn't really do all that much for me. The only time it really comes close to being bad celebrity karaoke is Melissa Etheridge's version of "I Will Always Love You" and (sadly) Shania Twain's take on "Coat Of Many Colors."

Speaking of remakes, I freaking love the No Doubt cover of "It's My Life." Absolutely awesome.

And tonight I was going to buy that new REM best-of set but when we were at Wal-Mart, I couldn't manage to find it. Too bad as I'm really itching to get that for some odd reason. I've been listening to a lot of their music these days which is quite odd because I've only ever been a casual fan of theirs. Maybe it's the time of year. Hard telling I guess.

Napster--So Much (So Far Wasted) Potential

Downloaded the new Napster 2.0 software the other day. I was lured in by the promise of 5 free songs if I preregistered, so I did. The interface is slicker than hell and it's got a really good selection of songs. Trouble is, I tried downloading one tonight and I couldn't get it to play. Not on Winamp, not even on Windows Media Player (and the dang file is even wma so I don't know what its major malfunction is.) Thank goodness I didn't have to pay for it, because basically now I'm stuck with a song that I can't listen to.

Think I'll be sticking to iTunes unless things shape up in a hurry.

Camille Paglia on Everything Under the Sun

Salon.com has a great feature interview with libertarian anti-feminist Camille Paglia. She comments on everything from Bush to the Democrats to Madonna and conservative commentators. Her comments on Madonna are pretty accurate (unfortunately, and this coming from a dyed-in-the-wool Madonna fan) although she's a bit rough on her I think.

Camille also goes on the record as really not liking bloggers. While I can see her point (Camille says "People say that the best part about writing a blog is that there's no editing -- it's free speech without institutional control. Well, sure, but writing isn't masturbation -- you've got to self-edit.") I do think that blogging can be fun and if you find people that share your interests it can be fun to read the inner workings of their brains. I don't fool myself into thinking that very many (if any) people are reading this, but if just one person bookmarks it and comes back to it a few times, hey, it's worth it.

(BTW, the interview is linked from Drudge--Salon.com is a subscription service. If you like what you read, please consider subscribing to Salon. Totally worth the price of admission.)

Scariest Movie Moments

Just in time for Halloween, retrocrush.com is listing the 100 scariest movie moments. The list is not complete as of this writing, but by Halloween it will be. It's fascinating reading and is reminding me of a lot of scary movie moments that I had forgotten about or had not known about in the first place.

And in the "not for the easily offended" category, here's a review of "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" that had me laughing my ass off this morning.

Blogging at ISU

I've spent the last several hours walking around the ISU Campus. It's eeriely the same, yet different. For example, the place where I am currently sitting (in the main library) was once where the card catalog sat! Actual cards in drawers that you could go through. Of course, all that's given way to computer technology (as well it should) but it's still pretty funny to think about.

I went up to the dorm floor where I lived when I was here--Lorch-Russell house in Friley Hall. It was pretty much the same except the walls have been repainted (one would hope that they would have been repainted in the 12 years since I last lived there!) And next to the rooms they have little paintings of people a la Keith Haring (one person next to single rooms, two people next to double rooms.) It still smells the same all through Friley Hall. I was worried for a little bit because every door that I was trying was locked. But then I went to the main entrance and it was open and that allowed me access to the floor where I lived.

It's funny how everything smells the same. The library, Friley Hall, Fisher-Nickell Hall (where Jeff & Holly lived while they were here and I just found out IS CLOSING!!)--everything. That's the part that doesn't change. Sure there are a lot of new buildings and things have definitely been updated for the 21st century, but so much is the same.

It's a little bit bittersweet to come here, as I was telling Heidi earlier, because I spent a lot of time on this campus feeling very lonely and sad. I probably have no one to blame but myself, but I still feel that way when I come here. I find myself wandering through the campus and seeing younger versions of what I must have been like at that time, and I wonder "Are they lonely too? Do they feel like they're the weird ones? Or if they are weird, do they at least have other people to be weird with?" There are times that I wish I could go back and do it differently, but you really do have to be careful with that wish. It's a silly and overdone movie cliche, but changing just one thing can change everything around you in ways you can't even imagine. Kinda like that new movie with Ashton Kutcher called The Butterfly Effect.

I did spend a lot of time feeling so lonely and sad. I was also angry. Angry at people for not understanding me and for not taking the time to get to know me. Truthfully, it was probably me that was the problem there--I had this insurmountable wall built around myself. And I basically damned people before I even got to know them. That was pretty silly, but I was 18 and what can I say?

Still in shock that Fisher-Nickell is closing. I wonder if Jeff knows that. It makes me want to walk back over there and take a picture of it just for the nuts of it.

More later if I can manage it. I'm going to go try to find Heidi.

I'm cranky and I need sleep. I'm just so irritated today. I can't even articulate why.

Yikes, I think I've successfully scared the bejesus out of myself tonight. I rewatched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 10-11:30 tonight. I had to have ever light in living room on and I always kept feeling like someone was sneaking up behind me. I had to watch it wearing headphones because I didn't want Heidi (who is sleeping) to have to hear the screams and the revving of the chainsaws, etc. I think I've had just about enough chainsaw murder and mayhem for one 24 hour period.

It wasn't quite as scary as I remember it being from the first time I watched it (summer 1995) but it was still freaky. Something about those Vietnam-era horror movies that really worked. I just don't think that in our day and age they can really make something that can scare us on such a visceral level as that kind of stuff did back then. I mean, you could argue that I just spent an hour and a half watching utter rubbish and depravity (which would probably be true) but it's an example of cinema at its most raw. It's real, even though it isn't. There's just something about it. Night Of The Living Dead is the same way. Halloween is also in that same category, although rewatching it this last summer I realized how even though it was supposed to take place in Illinois, it was so California and California will never, no matter how hard it might try, pass for the Midwest.

I'm just on a scary film binge right now--I want to go out and rent Wrong Turn (admittedly part of it is the Eliza Dushku factor) even though it got absolutely horrific reviews. Sometimes I think that those types of movies are always going to get bad reviews, even if they might be effective films. There's a definite bias out there against horror. Done right, it can be very effective. Done poorly, it's merely laughable and disposable.

TCM (1974) is still a superior film to TCM (2003). But I'll have more commentary on that tomorrow, I'm sure.

Hmmmm, it seems to me that when you start calling people names, you've really run out of things to say.

Thanks to Steve over at No More Mister Nice Blog for linking to this.

Saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre this afternoon--more on that later. I want to rewatch the original before I write anything.

OK, iTunes officially rocks. It's amazing that someone finally got the legal music downloading thing right. As I was writing to Kev tonight, a great interface, large selection, reasonable usage restrictions, and the price is right. I have always maintained that I would pay for downloaded music, and truthfully, at 99 cents a song, they've about found the right price. One could argue that since there's no packaging or any expense like that, they could lower the cost, but hey, it's a start. I downloaded the Cher & Rod Stewart duet "Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered." I can see where it could get easy to spend a lot of money on that--99 centing yourself to bankruptcy, but fortunately there isn't a whole lot of music out there that I'm just dying to have right now.

I did see the Dolly Parton tribute album at Wal-Mart tonight when Anna and I were out there buying a head cleaner for the VCR. I would have picked it up had I not already decided that I was going to buy the 30th Anniversay DVD of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I've heard some sound clips from it, and the song selection is a bit on the odd side, but it might be worth putting on my Christmas list or something. I can just imagine how Sinead O'Connor's version of "Dagger Through The Heart" must sound. But true to form, I'm most interested in Dolly's rerecording of "Just Because I'm A Woman" which is such a ridiculous little song, but it was 1960's country and I guess that's the best excuse I can give it. The CD itself will probably not sell that well, but I'll definitely get it at some point--even, like I said, if I wait till Christmas and receive it as a gift.

In other Dolly related news, Anna was reading her "Coat of Many Colors" book to her Teletubbies today which was pretty funny. Heidi had to call me at work to tell me about it. I think that's probably the only children's book that Dolly's gonna be able to cull from her songwriting. I mean, it's not like she can turn one of her multitude of dead baby songs ("Down From Dover", "Me & Little Andy", "Mountain Angel", or "Little Blossom" and one other one I can't remember the name of where the kid runs out in the street and is hit by a bus or something!) into a children's book.

Dolly's such a guilty pleasure--but dang she sure is fun to listen to because she's just so darn cheesy!

Not as much time to blog as I'd like, but hey, I'll get by. I'm listening to this song from O Sister 2!: A Women's Bluegrass Collection called "Reason Enough" and this lady's voice is so smooth. You'd hardly know that she's a country singer--no twang whatsoever. Reminds me of Mary-Chapin Carpenter (is that with or without the hyphen--I can never remember any longer.)

iTunes has a Windows interface now! I'm gonna have to give that a whirl. I've heard nothing but good things about it.

I took a walk this morning before the sun came up and I'm remembering just how much I love fall. If it weren't for the whole SAD thing, it'd easily be my favorite season. And I guess it still is. The fall is turning out pretty good for the most part. It's hard to believe that we're already half way through October.

I think we're gonna go to Carroll/Ames next weekend. My dad's birthday is the 24th and it'll be fun to go home and see my folks. The plan is to get to Carroll in time for supper on Friday and then leave Anna with Mom & Dad on Saturday while we go to Ames and spend some time together--and apart. Heidi's really wanting to spend some time writing and I really love walking around the campus and revisiting old haunts. So she's taking her AlphaSmart and is going to find a place to write and I'm gonna just walk around. The Iowa State campus is just beautiful. And chock full of memories to boot, so it'll be a fun time.

We'll also plan to eat at Hickory Park which is mandatory eating whenever you're in Ames. It's a barbeque place with awesome food and even better ice cream desserts. It was always the place where you had to take your folks when they came to visit. The funny thing is that the first time I took Heidi there, we went on a January evening and there was just fog as thick as soup. I hadn't been to Ames in a while, and Jeff had told me that the restaurant had been remodeled. So here I am driving up and down the street where it is and it is just plain and simple NOT THERE! Well, what Jeff neglected to tell me was that they had demolished the old building and built a new one at a different location. Eventually, we found it, and although the atmosphere is not quite the same as the old one, it's still good food and you get seated a heck of a lot faster than you did at the old building.

Short post re: updates

Not much time to blog tonight as I've spent most of my time getting my sidebar in order. I've finally acquiesced and decided to stick with this blog template. It's not that offensive even though there are a ton of other blogs out there that look exactly like it. I also got a comment thing going on which is courtesy of BlogSpeak, so if you're reading this, please comment. I'd love to know who out there is reading this, if anyone!

Heard a little bit about Howard Dean's prescription drug thing. Not so keen on the preferred drug list, but am glad to see he's taking on direct-to-consumer advertising which is one of the biggest money making ploys the drug companies have done in recent memory. As somebody on another blog wrote, it's not like prescription drugs are deodorant or toilet bowl cleaner. They shouldn't be advertised like that. My opinion, natch.

Lots Of Garbage

It's large garbage week a/k/a "trash amnesty week" which basically amounts to you can put just about anything on your front yard and the city will come around and take it away. There are limits--no matter how many times the city says "NO WATER HEATERS" you invariably see water heaters sitting out on the curb in hopes of being picked up despite all evidence to the contrary. But the funny thing isn't really what kinds of crap people will put out on the curb for the garbage collectors to pick up, but it's what gets taken by various people in the meantime.

We wanted to go out and kiss the people that were taking our old bathtub for use as a watering trough on their farm. We were worried that the city wouldn't take it, in which case we wouldn't know what in the hell we were going to do with it. But now that question has been answered--a horse or cow or some other animal will be drinking out of it. Truthfully, it's nice to know that it won't be sitting in the landfill until it rusts away into nothing. In addition, someone came along and took our old bathroom sink, an old pressed-wood bookcase that had fallen to pieces, three broken box fans, the old living room chandelier that we had up before we put up the ceiling fan. There's still the old bathroom mirror sitting out there as well as some chicken wire we figured some farmer would love to take. Oh well, I know that the city will take everything that's left. I hope. :)

In a way, it's sad that we're throwing so much stuff out. It doesn't make me feel like a very good steward of the earth, but what can you do. And then I feel doubly guilty because all this stuff that gets thrown out is being taken by people who must really have nothing because they're going through people's garbage for Pete's sake! Heidi said it's the equivalent of a "redneck garage sale" which I suppose there's some truth to, but that's still not a really nice thing to say.

That's the thing about our town though. I like small town life enough, but I don't really feel like I fit in very well here. It's not really a blue collar town (although there is an element of that because we do have a couple factories that are somewhat large employers) but it's almost like sometimes I just don't feel like I click with anyone here in town. Sure there are other educated people, but then there's our tendency to be hermits and not really get out very much. I wish I were more outgoing, but right now I really don't have the energy to be forging new relationships and friendships. Heidi and I sometimes think we'd fit in better in Grinnell, mostly because it's more liberal and we'd feel less like radicals and more like middle of the road people.

Yesterday when I was walking to church I thought about Rick H. who I haven't thought of in forever. I'm not sure what brought him up in my brain, but I thought "Y'know, I should e-mail him and see how he's doing!" His twins are probably 3 or so now and he and his wife have been married for almost 10 years. The last time I talked to him was--shit, I can't even remember when the last time I talked to him was. It must have been when Heidi was pregnant. I know the last time I saw him was at our wedding. It's kind of sad to me how that relationship has fallen apart. And it's not like anything bad happened, we just drifted apart and man, that kind of makes me sad. And just as soon as the thought about e-mailing him entered my brain, I thought "Geez, what would I even have to say? Not much. I wouldn't even know where to start." So I forgot about it.

So I'm sitting here listening to Dave Matthews, despite the fact that I mentioned in here not all that long ago that I really don't like Dave Matthews. But this kind of music is really speaking to me these days. I'm not sure why. It's just cycles, that's all. I'm sure I'll cycle out of this musical phase soon enough.

The good news is that Wendy and I are going to go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre next weekend! I'll have to write a review or something. I'm looking to exercise my writing muscles (which is part of the reason I'm writing in here) and it gives me an excuse to not think about my job.

Anna's driving us all crazy tonight as she's just totally manic running on days of being sleep deprived. And she's pulling this trick of when you lay down in bed with her, she lays there for a minute or two and then starts this crying business until you get up and read to her again. It's highly irritating and has resulted in me getting no time to write, read and/or blog before bed most nights this week.

The motivational speaker was actually pretty good--I'm almost embarrassed that I was so negative about it. He didn't really say anything that I didn't already know, but it never hurts to have that kind of stuff reinforced. I did notice that I was the only male in the morning session that I went to. I asked one of the nurses that went to the afternoon session, and there were no males in that section. So what does that say about me? Is this the irrefuteable proof that I'm from Venus while the others are on Mars? Does it say something about me that I was there, or does it say something about the other male employees of the hospital? Or is it both? I think the answer is yes. And no.

I'm kinda tired tonight and was going to call Kev this evening, but I did it over my lunch break today. Was good to talk to him again--hadn't talked to him in forever. Sounds like Gretchen sure is growing up. It was fun to talk and all that. I'm afraid we may never see eye to eye on politics, but hey, what can ya do? He's a way cool friend even if he's not a Dean supporter. :)

Tomorrow's our 6th wedding anniversary. We've been married long enough that our anniversary is on a Saturday again, just like it was when we first got married. We're gonna try to go the Niabi Zoo in the Quad Cities with Anna tomorrow, but it looks like rain so maybe we won't do that after all. I wouldn't mind just staying around home, but it would be fun to get away for a day.

Sounds like Anna's going to sleep pretty well for Heidi. That's good--we all need a break. I probably am going to go to bed here pretty quick, but just thought I'd check in and blog a bit. I was reading on the internet today that some obscenely large percentages of blogs are abandoned within the first couple of months. My goal is to NOT do that. I want to keep this up. I also want to get a cooler blog template--I haven't given up that goal--but for now this one will have to do. I wonder if you can get cooler ones if you pay for the blogger.com thing?? I'll have to check into that.

It's early morning and I have to go into work at 8AM to listen to a motivational speaker. Is there something inherently wrong with having to go to work early (something I'm not very motivated to do) to listen to a motivational speaker? I have it on good authority that he's pretty good, so maybe it'll be worth it, but I can't help but think how it'll just put me behind for the entire day and invariably make me have to stay late. Oh well. I'll just take it as it comes.

Today I'm fighting a bit harder than I've had to. I think it was my crappy sleep last night. I had this dream that I was in a big city driving (I think it might have been Cincinnati, but I can't know for certain.) But I took the wrong turn and got lost so I was driving all over trying to find my way. Finally, I parked the car and got out my palm pilot and was trying to do Trip Planner from that. (!) But I kept on screwing up putting in the information. The biggest thing I remember was trying to put in where I was starting from--and it was at this store called Dr. Dean's Cologne Shop. But then it was a liquor store, so who knows? And then someone I work with (for the life of me, I can't remember who it was) told me just to get back in the car and take turn the other way, and that'll put me back on the path I needed to be on. Dreams are the weirdest things.

We watched the Democratic debate last night with the Dean Steering Committee, which was enlightening, but I was angry how the press had such a bias against Dean. This is the first time I've seen the moderator of a debate so blatantly have it out for a particular candidate (Dean.) Since when is it okay for the moderator of the debate to pull a press release from a rival campaign that up to that point had not been public knowledge and attack him with it. Isn't the moderator supposed to be impartial? Yeah, right. It was a very poorly run debate. Part of the problem is there are so dang many of them that barely anyone gets to speak--I really wish some of them would drop out. I would say that Kucinich needs to drop out, but he seems like he really believes what he's saying, even though I disagree with a lot of it. He also reminds a lot of people where the way-far-left actually is. When they try to start pinning the "too liberal" tag on Dean, Kucinich stands there in stark contrast. Mosely-Braun really doesn't stand a chance in hell, but I like her presence. She's like a big den mother and while I don't think that kind of attribute would suit her well for the presidency, it really helps temper all the animosity between the male candidates. And this is also the first time I've heard Edwards talk. He would probably be my second choice after Dean. I sat there thinking that he might make a good vice-presidential candidate if Dean got the nomination, but Dean really needs to get someone on the ticket that has some foreign policy experience.

Clark really ended up looking bad last night, I thought. And they say Dean's a hothead!

OK, I just downloaded a copy of the new Britney Spears song (featuring Madonna)--it was from the AOL First Listen thing. One word, three letters. U-g-h. Maybe it'll grow on me (a la "Die Another Day") but I'm having my doubts. The best part is the bridge and then the part that Madonna sings by herself. I really don't have the patience for Britney Spears anyway.

Insipid lyrics, musically not very interesting. Could have been so much better.

It's tough to blog when you're listening to Eminem. Yesterday I was examining exactly what the appeal of Eminem is to me. I mean, I'm a 31 year old man who never listens to rap music ever but I do really like Eminem. I pretty much credit (blame?) :) Kev for the Eminem thing because if he hadn't persuaded me to listen to "Lose Yourself" I would have never listened to anything else. But the bottom line for me is that Eminem is a lot like Madonna. Eminem does with anger in his music what Madonna did with sex. I can't really explain it any more clearly than that. Plus there's the fact that he's running a close second to Dolly Parton as far as celebrities milking their white trash past to maximum profit! :)

And 8 Mile is really a modern day Saturday Night Fever. And I mean that as a compliment.

Haven't blogged in a while--not sure why. Crazy life I guess. Went to another wedding this weekend--this one in Des Moines so it was a bit more metropolitan and sophisticated than the one last weekend. Anna had a great time dancing and I made a bloody fool of myself doing the hokey pokey. And I hadn't even had anything to drink!

We stayed with our friend Mary on Saturday night so as to avoid the nearly 3 hour drive back on the same day that we made the drive there. That was pretty fun--watched the first episode of Season 4 of Buffy and the first episode of Season 1 of Angel. We've gotten Mary hooked on those shows--she practically devoured the first 3 seasons of Buffy. We're currently watching Season 2 of Angel on DVD and I have to say that it's pretty good. I like watching the eps where the story of Angel's past is told. Plus the whole Barry Manilow karaoke is just a crack-up.

I was noticing on the official Dean blog that there's a link to Mormons for Dean. I mean, there's even a Mormons for Dean blog! I'll have to run that past Kevin and see what he thinks of that. I'd be really interested to hear his take on it. I know he's definitely not a Dean supporter, but I'd be curious to hear his reaction to all that. He should be coming back from his trip sometime soon (can't remember when right off) and I'm looking forward to getting in touch with him again.

I bought the new John Mayer CD Heavier Things today on the strength of Room For Squares. It's going to be a slow burn, I can tell. However, there is a pretty cool song on there called "Daughters" which just makes me think of my own daughter and how much I love her. We had a great time at the children's museum today--made me hope that when Kev comes to visit that he brings Gretchen so we can all do that. Talk about a way fun time! But the CD is quite different from RFS, and consequently, I think it'll take a little getting used to.

I'm listening to Diana Krall right now--"Peel Me A Grape." I'm thinking of making a fall mellow mix CD or something. Kind of in that mode right now. It's not a depressive thing or an SAD thing, but I'm just feeling like that kind of music right now. Hence, all this John Mayer I'm pretty sure. I even pulled out Simply Streisand the other day because I'd heard one of the songs on that CD on Yahoo! Launchcast Friday. (Launchcast, incidentally, is the absolute best internet radio that you can possibly get for four dollars a month.) Simply Streisand has got to be one of the guiltiest of all my guilty pleasures (as well as one of the shortest--I think it's only like 29 minutes long or something!)